Wonders of a Mother

This is one of my favorite poems that I have written. It was also the 1st about having a child with special needs...

Wonders of a Mother written by Me aka Seekingsunshine

Wonders of a mother
I wonder what tomorrow brings
For a little life all filled with fright
I wonder what tomorrow brings
For a little boy so afraid at night

Can not control your body
From all the terrors inside
Darkness fills your heart
You want so much to hide

Here I sit
On a cold dark night
Wondering what the future brings
My heart fills with fright

People do not understand
What goes on in my son's land
They do not know him
They don't hold his hand

The fears that he shows
We are the only ones that know
In a world so full of people
We seem all alone

Wishing there were a magic pill
To make things all great
Wishing the rain
Could not flood his gates

Wishing he could
Be a happy boy
Sitting quietly
Playing with his toys


Laughing and playing
Like the other kids do
Getting good grades
Getting along good in school

Deep in his heart
I feel his aches and pains
For I am his mother
I know how his heart rains

He does not want
To live like this I know
For only I wish
To others he could show

The happiness he feels inside
That fills my heart with pride
People do not understand him
That is why my heart cries

Wishing his moods
Would not be so blue
Wishing that others
Could understand him too

Wishing that schools
Could just cooperate
Wishing here lonely
His life could be great

I wish that he
Gets the help that he needs
Wishing in life
He does succeed

Not knowing what to do
With a boy so happy AND blue
Filled with anger and hostility
Only wanting others to see

To the hospital
I can not let him go
For he is a baby
That only I seem to know

His pain is invisible
Behind a smile so bright
Wishing others could see
What can make his heart light

There are three children in there
One is nice as can be
That is the one
I wish everyone could see

Then there is the angry one
Who hurts others until they cry
He will tell you I hate you
And laugh as he hurts you

There is my sad son
Does not know what he has done
Wonders why as people are mad
Asks "Why are you sad"

The little looks on his face
Are filled with such sadness
A boy locked inside
A world filled with madness


I love him so dearly
As I sit here so teary
Wonder what I could do
Have I been a good mother

What could I have done different
So he did not end up this way
My heart fills with thunder
As I pray to God each day

Please give me the strength
Patience to deal
Please let people know
His disability is real

Please help them understand
Do for him what is best
Please look over us lord
Keep us all safe in this land

I wonder why is my son
Stuck in this body
That does not not cooperate
Will he ever be free
From this bipolar gate