Long lost fright

Honeybunches school continues to say that "He's just not himself".  Tuesday he had to be restrained at school.  Then 1:1 aide had to escort him off the bus because he was having unsafe behaviors and refusing to sit.  IDK exactly what else happened.  The rest of the week he was okay at school, just "Out of sorts, not himelf and seemed tired".  At counseling Wednesday night he presented with some behaviors we (Including his counselor) have not seen in a long while.  They were talking about feelings.  Honeybunches pulled out the legos and dumped them.  He would not listen to pick them up.  He pushed the computer chair into his counselor, picked up the computer and tried to throw it at her.  The screen came off the monitor as it hit the floor, but did not look broken.  She said she was "Scared he was going to seriously hurt her".  She tried to call the front desk.  I heard the receptionist call her name as she picked up the phone, but then she did not say anything else.  I should have known that she needed help and went to check.  She said Honeybunches hung up the phone on her.  Then she yelled "Help" and the counselor in the next office had to leave her own client to see what was going on.  She came down to the waiting area asking for me.  I told the counselor maybe we should go in with him for a few weeks again.  She said "Maybe".  Honeybunches said he did not want to talk about feelings.  The counselor said they were playing a game about feelings when he grabbed the legos and that situation began.  Once home, he was fine. He knew he was not going on the computer, but said "Tomorrow I am going to have an awesome day so I can go on". :(  His teacher asked me what I think was causing him to have these issues lately.  The only things I can think of are that

1. He's mad or upset with me for going to school again and not being home until 4 on Tuesday and Thursdays.  DH and I both agree that could be a possible option because he hates it when things change, especially when they change with me.
2. I noticed changes in him a few days after his diet changed back to eating chicken or turkey once a day and eggs on Saturdays.  I wonder if it could be the diet changes in general or that eating the eggs, chicken and turkey again has increased the salt in his body, which decreased his Lithium level.  Either way, I'm considering putting him back on a mostly Vegan diet with the exception of Ranch dip again because he did so much better on that. 


Yesterday I tried getting his blood work done.  For the first time in over three years of getting blood work every 3 months, Honeybunches refused.  His favorite lab tech spent more than 20 minutes trying to convince him.

 1st he did not like the green needle and wanted a blue one. Then hashbrowns from McD's were not a good enough bribe so I offered him a $. Of course he upped it to $2. Fine. Then he seen two different blue vials that were taller than the ones they usually use (Because they were testing for lead, cadmium, mercury along with the regular tests they usually run). He did not like the looks of those for whatever reason. Finally he right out refused saying "If I take my blood I won't be able to eat the good stuff anymore". So finally after 20+ minutes we gave up. We shall try again on Tuesday. At 110 lbs it is not really safe to use physical force to get him to take blood. I told him no more eating eggs, turkey or chicken until we get it. Maybe that will work. Reverse psychology. IDK but I hope he'll get it one of these times or IDK what we'll do about his Lithium. He could not stay on it without blood draws. I will just be hopeful and persistant that next time he'll do it. We'll bring Daddy to see if that makes a difference.

Princess's school called me Wednesday.  They are getting a  CHINS on my her because she keeps getting in trouble at school. Here is more info on a CHINS. She's been okay here.  IDK what is going on with her there, but in a few weeks I will have to go to court for that.  Of course because we live in a small town juvenile court is only on Thursdays... a day I have school.  So I will have to miss school at least for the 1st one.  I am debating fighting this whole thing because I don't agree she needs one, but then I'd have to miss more school and do community service to pay for the lawyer.  I don't know where I'd find time for that lol.  I am mad at the school dean for proceeding with this. Sometimes DCF comes along with CHINS.  I thought it always did, but the Dean said it doesn't when they file it.  I guess it's different then when a parent does.  I think a lot of her issues are just hanging with the wrong crowd.  I was considering school choicing her to another school, but then we'd have to transport her and the van is sick.  I thought about enrolling her in the virtual online school, but they have a long waiting list.  Sometimes I honestly wonder if they give her such a hard time because she's half black (Yes there is still racism in small town New England, although many think there isn't...) or possibly because she's Shnook's sister (Although the current Dean does not seem to remember who he is).  I wish we could just move, but financially that's not an option right now.  My mother mentioned to me this morning how she's concerned that Princess's "Always angry".  I don't really see it.  She has many reasons to be, because of Shnooks... I also know that living with Honeybunches and Daddy (Who also has BP and can be unstable sometimes) is not easy for her.  I did an intake for her to see somebody at the counseling center Honeybunches goes to.  The receptionist said that there are enough counselors there, that they should be able to get her in on Wednesdays close to the time he sees his.  We've tried two other counseling centers for her.  The 1st one said she was the most resiliant child they've seen and she did not need counseling.  The 2nd one said because she did not talk, counseling was a waste of time.  I have faith in the one Honeybunches's been going to since he was three.  (Except for a few weeks when we tried to find somebody closer to home and the current one admitted she did not know how to handle him when he was unstable and suggested we find somebody with more experience.  The other place kicked him out on the 2nd visit and she took him back.)  Anyways, I don't think they'd give up on her so easily.  At times I wonder if she has Bipolar or something going on.  It's all in her genes.

Mixed Day

Honeybunches had a mixed day at school.  "He had an okay morning.  This afternoon he refused to work quite a bit.  1:1 aide asked him to get his lunch box and he refused.  He then threw markers.  It all went down hill from there.  1:1 aide had to hold him."  Then Dh said 1:1 aide had to walk him off the bus and was sitting next to him because he refused to stay seated.  At home this afternoon he's been fine without any issues though.  He went out with his therapeutic mentor to the library and did not have any issues there either.  IDK what caused his day to be like it was at school. 

Today

I am very happy that today has been a better day at school and home. 

Back on the roller coaster!

Things around here have been like riding a roller coaster that we have not been on in a while.  Yesterday Honeybunches book stated:

"He did not have a good day.  He seemed off from the get go.  During reading, he wanted to read a book about cats.  After some coercion, he joined the reading group.  Then he gave (PT) a hard time.  He basically shut down and refused to work.  Then during writing he did not want to do word of the day.  He put his head down and refused to write.  1:1 aide took him for a walk.  When he came back he was fine."

Yesterday afternoon remained tough at home.  He was mad when he came home because I told him I did not think it was a good idea for him to go out with his Therapeutic Mentor when she came based on his behavior at school. (Plus he gave her a really hard time last time she took him out and with his day progressing like it was I did not think it was a good idea.)  He began crying hysterically about that.  He became very angry, refused to listen to me and Daddy's words.  He even got aggressive with Dh and I which has not happened in a long while.  Then when his Mentor came, he wanted nothing to do with her. He stayed in his bed crying for a while and then just laid there.  He seemed depressed for most of the day.  Later in the evening he complained of a headache.

Today Honeybunches had another rough morning at school.  He refused to work in Speech.  He put his head down and accidently ripped his paper as well.  "He seems out of sorts the past couple of days" is what his teacher wrote in his communication book today.  When I picked him up early for his pdoc appointment, his 1:1 aide handed me a letter Honeybunches wrote to me.  It said:

"Why I was crying is Mom I was crying at school because I was sad because I didn't want to go to (Pdoc's center).  Mom I didn't want to work today at school.  I was ripping (Speech Therapist's) paper.  I hat to pick up my pensil because I threw it.  I was kicking (1:1 aide).  That is what I did't at school."

That is what he wrote, in his writing.  hat = had.  Did't = did.  Pensil = Pencil.

The afternoon continued to be a rough one.  He was sad, crying, hyper, sad, crying, hyper, hyper and crying... The roller coaster ride has begun with him and I want off!!!  At least he was not aggressive today.  The afternoon was filled with mood swings, perfume being sprayed, not listening to my words, refusing his bath, me having to call "Daddy" and have him do it.  His pdoc left all his meds the same for now.  Thankfully she gave us a lab slip to get his blood drawn.  Besides the typical Liver Enzymes, "LFTs, Lipids, Glucose, and Lithium" she is also testing him for heavy metals: "Lead, Mercury and Cadmium".  She gave us a script for 150 mg Lithiums in case his levels come out low.  I really like his pdoc.  In the beginning I was unsure if I'd trust her with Honeybunches because he is so complex.  For now, we are happy with her.

His counselor asked me if I ever thought about homeopothy with him.  I have put some thought into it, but at this time we honesty can not afford it.  Living on a very low income with just Honeybunches and my DH's SSI it is not something we can really achieve right now.  It sure would be awesome if one day insurance would pay for alternative medicines and therapies.  Shoot, they can not really cost more than some of his meds do!    I will research what things work for headaches though.  Honeybunches gets them frequently and the docs at the teaching hospital last week told me not to give him Tylenol.  Because of his Lithium, he can not have Motrin or Advil.  I hope I can find something safe to give him.  Pdoc told me to try Bengay on the back of his neck.  That's worth a try, after I research if it interferes with Lithium...

I am hoping that this rollercoaster ride ends soon because I want it to stop!  I want off the ride and soon! 

Hard

I get so sick of people asking me and commenting about how...

• "It must be so hard...."
• "You've had it rough..."
• "Oh I am so sorry you've gone through all this with him..."

And all that mess!  Yesterday the doctors, residents and students in Boston said how it must be so hard and how I've been dealt a rough hand with Honeybunches.  I said "Well some might see it that way" and "I don't think so because he was given to me for a reason".  They just looked at me puzzled.  That is how I feel.  I am not sorry I am his Momma.  I am not sad this is the hand I was dealt.  I don't look at it as being hard to be his Momma, caregiver, advocate and whatever other roles I play.  I look to him as a blessing.  I believe that there is a reason I was chosen to be his Momma.  In fact, that brought to my mind a couple articles I really love: And Then God Created This Mother and Some Mothers are Chosen By God.

I really do think that God takes extra time in finding parents/caregivers for the children who need a little "Extra" in life and for the "Special" ones.  I think that everything happens for a reason and that I am his Momma for a reason.  Sometimes I think it's a blessing, but I must admit when he was struggling... just like the quote from Mother Theresa says "I know that God will not give me anything I can not handle.  I just wish he did not trust me so much!"

Possibilities!

Yesterday Honeybunches had his long awaited appointment at the major teaching hospital.  It took us 1 hour 10 minutes to get to the train station.  That's usually only a 40 minute ride.  It was snowing heavily in our area.  We got there just as the train was boarding.  Thankfully, my outspoken Honeybunches said "Can you wait" to the train attendant standing outside.   Thankfully we made it to Boston and back safe.  When we got out there it was raining heavy and very very windy.  So windy, in fact I felt like it was blowing my 200 lb body away lol.  Takes a lot to blow me around!

On the way to Boston, Honeybunches was getting very upset.  We accidently were in the "Quiet car" and had to find some place else to sit because he was not being "Quiet".  He wanted lunch at 8:00.  I gave him the choice of 3 other snacks.  He fussed for about 20-30 minutes about that.  "Mommy.  Mom. I am hungry. Mommy.  Mom."  I stayed consistent with the choices he could have.  This husky man with grey hair who had to be into his 60s kept staring at us.  Unsure of what to think of him, I sent him a smile as E was fussing.  He smiled back so I guess he was not too frustrated lol. He sure did stare a lot. Finally Honeybunches gave up and chose Strawberries and Apples with Peanut Butter.

We arrived in Boston with some time to spare.  That was great because neither Honeybunches or I like rushing.  They had me fill out a few questionnaires and some other paperwork.  His appointment was scheduled at 10.  It was about 10:40 before we got into the large conference room.  The receptionist told me that they wanted to discuss his case before calling us in.  At least she communicated well and didn't just leave us waiting wondering.  When Honeybunches and I got called in, upon entering the large sunlit conference room, I was a bit overwhelmed.  I counted 14 doctors, students and residents sitting around the brown rectangular wooden table.  I was expecting around 5, not 14! They went around and introduced themselves.  It went too fast for me to write every one's names and positions down.  DH waited in the waiting area.  All those people would have been too much for him.  He seemed very impatient yesterday even just waiting for us to be called in.  Honeybunches did great for us in there.  I was wondering if he would struggle without Daddy, but he was fine.  He really liked the 20 something male Pediatrics resident who was sitting at the end of the table not far from us.  He kept giving Honeybunches math problems to do and had him color.  I focused on his side of the room, to my left, because it was easier for me then getting overwhelmed by looking around at all those people.  On his side of the room, was also the head Child Psychiatrist and another doc, whom I think worked in Psychology maybe that was at the head of the table.  That's where my attention was focused. It was less intimidating that way and they were the ones asking all the questions.

They went over his developmental history, all his previous testing, lab history, medication history, diagnostic history, symptoms history, health history, got my family history, and asked a million questions.  The first 2 1/2 hours was all questions directed towards me and Honeybunches.  Then the last half hour they came up with a bunch of possibilities...

They may possibly want to do a SPECT scan.  The doc at the head of the table, mentioned that.  He said that there were clinical trials being done but they stopped because they had a hard time getting the children to remain still for 10 minutes.  He asked me if Honeybunches would.  I honestly said "We would not know until if we tried it".  He said that a certain part of the brain shows up differently with children who have BP.  If it's on one side it's BP and if it is on the other it's Schizo-affective.  They said to do this he'd have to have radioactive dye and it only takes 10 minutes but he would need to remain still.  That was one possibility. 

They said there are two types of Autism, one is genetic and the other is ASD features.  They said it's possible that some of his issues may be environmental.  They asked if there were any "Environmental concerns" in my town.  I told them it's a factory town.  The biggest one is the brake factory which leaves the town smelling like burning rubber.  There are other factories here too. They asked if others in the area have children with BP, Autism or delays.  IDK.  I wonder how I can find out more about that? They are going to have environmental medicine look into that.  Then they asked about our water supply.  Public water pipes, but our house was built in 1901 and the original pipes are still here.  They said for me to use a water filter that goes right on the sink, because all water needs to be filtered even for cooking. They said the water pitcher is not good enough.  They question if he may have heavy metal poisoning.  They may possibly test him for heavy metals. 

The Neurologist resident looked over his 1st EEG that was done at Tufts.  She said it was slightly abnormal.  That was something to me!  As far as everyone told me before they said it came out fine.  She told me that a certain percentage of the population can come out abnormal.  She asked if he had an MRI before.  Nope.  Then they talked more about the SPECT scan possibly happening instead or first.  They questioned Fragile X.  Neurologist said children with that don't typically present like he does.  It's never been tested even when he had his genetics testing done because back then (2/2009) the Geneticist stated on her eval  "Because of his normal speech and overall development with no mental retardation we do not suspect Fragile X to be a cause of his symptoms".  

They questioned the possibility of his liver issues being related to genetics, weight related or environmental too.  They questioned it more because his liver enzymes were lower when he was on the higher dose of Abilify.  They said if it was the Abilify they should have possibly been higher.  They told me no tylenol for his headaches at least until I hear from them.  That leaves us with nothing for them.  If they get bad I guess we will be calling the doc.  

They mentioned everything from his birthmark, to some "Roles on his neck" to his ear lobes being fatty as possibly meaning something too.

I feel like we made leaps and bounds today in areas that nobody has ever researched with Honeybunches before.  Oh yeah, they said to leave him on his current meds for now.  One of them brought up the possibility of Geodon, but the others decided that it does not work as well as Abilify "In children who present like him" and can cause the same liver issues.  So we got losts of "Possible"s today that I believe will lead to something good for my son.  It was great teaching the students and they had some great ideas, as did the residents and docs.  They did not come up with a specific plan as of yet.  They want more time to discuss and go over his case because he is so "Complex".  They said after they do that they will write me a letter with their findings and recommendations.

I will be anxiously awaiting hearing back from them.  In knowing this hospital from our previous experiences there, it might take several weeks.  Their reports are usually very thorough and informative though.  This all sounds so promising!

Honeybunches appointment lasted the whole 3 hours it was expected to.  We did not get out until a couple minutes after one.  There was a commuter rail train scheduled to leave at 1:15.  If it was just Honeybunches and I, I would have prefered to hang around the hospital, go get some lunch there as I know it was Vegan friendly, let him watch the ambulances, and just stay there wasting time until the next one came at 4:40.  Nope, DH thought we should rush our way to the subway and to the train station trying to catch that train!  We almost made it.  It was pouring so heavy that we got drenched in just a couple minutes.  The wind was trying to take off with our umbrellas just from the maybe 50 feet from the subway exit to the train station enterence.  We were rushing, running against the rain.  We ran our way into the crowded train station.  The clocks said 1:17.  The train was gone already!!! We were stuck there until 4:40 when the next one came.  Honeybunches was happy to see the trains pull up through the 9 glass doors. DH was pissed off because we missed the train.  He did a good job remaining calm, but I could tell by his body language he was beyond frustrated! Before we even left the house, the night before, I had told him that he should have stayed home.  I knew it would be a long day and too many people for him. He mentioned that he should have.

After a while, I began walking around the station with Honeybunches because I got tired of sitting down.  We walked in circles lol.  Then we began examining possibilities for dinner.  There was nothing Vegan friendly I could find, so when the rain slowed Honeybunches and I went for a walk outside.  We walked up and down 4 city blocks.  All I found was about 6 pizza places lol.  Not what I was looking for as I was hoping for Spanish or Chinese so we could get some rice.  Oh well.  After about a half hour we arrived back at the train station.  I got Honeybunches some fries and fruit snacks. (2nd one in a day.  Bad Momma but I could not find anything else without cholesterol for him around there.) I was frustrated because I knew we would have been better off staying around the hospital.  It's a more Vegan friendly area.  The cafe there has Vegan/Vegetarian options and there is actually a Vegan restaurant right up the street.  But no.... Dh was insisted we'd make the train that we missed.  Rrrrr.  Anyways, Honeybunches did fine for the rest of the afternoon and evening.  Thankfully I remembered to bring his noontime med and evening meds.... just in case we missed the 1st train.

GI doc appointment + diet update

Yesterday Honeybunches went for an appointment with his GI doc and the nutritionist that works with that doc. We seen the nutritionist 1st.  She said that he can begin to have lean chicken or turkey white meat once a day, plus 1 egg and 2 egg whites once per week scrambled or in an omelet. She also told me to offer him more vegetarian "Protein".  For example after school for a snack. She told me that increasing his protein should make him less hungry.  He has literally been wanting to eat every hour he is awake.  So that news made him happy.   He'll be on a low cholesterol diet now, but not necessarily Vegetarian anymore.  I'll still buy his Vegetarian "Meat" alternatives, keep him on soy/almond milk, but can give him the other stuff the nutritionist mentioned.   He does not need to go back to see them until 6 months from now.  That's great news because the hospital where they are is 1 hour 15 minutes away and not accessible by public transportation.  Our van is not too healthy right now.  On the way to his appointment in the city traffic somebody beeped their horn.  He says "Ah Shut Up"!  I giggled.  Then he said "See I learned that from Dad"!  ROFL.  It was not funny but hillarious at the same time.  That gave me my laughs for today.  Well that and the circle doors at the hospital exit. You know the ones that move as you go through them.  Well this one had attitude problems lol.  Either DH or him touched it.  Well the thing stopped in the middle of us going through it.  Then it said "Please back up.  Do not touch the door" in a rude voice and said some other words I can't remember, but that is the 1st time I seen a door with attitude problems lol.  Only in Massachusetts!

I went grocery shopping this morning.  I found him some of these chicken tenders from Purdue's Simply Smart new line of chicken products for dinner tonight. Purdue Simply Smart Chicken Tenders.  Well technically they are not chicken tenders.  They call them "Lightly breaded chicken strips".  LOL Same thing IMO.  Honeybunches loved those. They seemed like the healthiest chicken I could find.  I was literally standing there comparing all the labels for about a half hour.  I only gave him 3 small ones, but he was happy with that.  He ate them all.  We shall see how his belly likes it. It's been about 45 minutes and he seems okay so far. For lunch a few days during the week I found him some light turkey breast.  I was standing there comparing those labels too and got the one with the least cholesterol. If I give him those for lunch, for dinner that night he'll have a "Veggie protein".  I like how the nutritionist came up with that instead of "Fake meat" like we were calling them lol.  I told E we will let him eat this stuff for a few weeks.  Then I am going to ask his pdoc for a lab slip to check his cholesterol and other levels.  I told Honeybunches if it goes up too high then he will have to go on "My diet" again.  (Doctor did not say that... I did.) I am staying on my strict Vegan diet. I just have no desire to eat meat, milk, eggs or any other animal product for ethical reasons plus I think it's healthier.  It can get interesting being the only Vegan in a meat eating household.  I get sickened when I have to fix hamburg for DH and the girls.  That just smells worse than anything to me.  So this week I bought extra Lite Life Smart Ground and some Boca Burger Crumbles to use in place of it.  The Smart Ground pass Dh and the girls' approval.  This is the 1st time I seen Boca Crumbles in our local grocery store so figured we'd give them a try.  I also bought him some Galaxy Veggie Shreds to put on some home made pizza I plan to make one day this week.  They are not Vegan, but are healthier than real cheese which I still chose not to give him. 

Forgotten Aggression

Honeybunches had a bit of a rough time tonight for the 1st time in a while.  I mean it's been many months since we've had incidents like this.  He had a bloody nose that lasted about 20 minutes.  It was bleeding so heavy I was seriously thinking about taking him to the ER.  Then it stopped.  He said it was probably bleeding because he picked it on the bus on the way home from school.  Lovely LOL.  Within about a minute he:

• Threw sugar on the floor.
• Hit princess
• Pulled her hair
• Hit her with my key chain
• Threw a can of cooking spray at her head

He is so quick.  When I came he said "Guess I need to go in time out" and went without a problem.  He did all this probably because he locked the door to his and my rooms.  Princess tried to take the keys from him to open it.  He got angry because of that we are thinking.  This is the 1st time he's been that aggressive in a long while.  Princess was crying.  Although she is older than him, he used to get the best of her.  She's so good with him and never aggressive back.  It used to break my heart... as it did this evening.  :(


FORGOTTEN AGGRESSION: (Another original poem by me that I just wrote..)

Terror inside your body
Used to fill us with fright
I hope that the days don't return
The ways I seen tonight

The only difference is that you were in control
Which never happened in the past
Either way, I hope it goes
And is not here to last

Hating the heartache and pain
Of watching you lose what you've gained
Skills we worked so hard to teach
Sometimes seem like they've been washed down the drain

Other day's you're here with us
Smiling, laughing and such a delight
All within one day
You can move so fast from the biggest hugs so tight

To causing me to hope these days are not here to stay
My little man you've come too far
To turn back to the old ways
Things were different then they used to be

Much quicker the aggression came and went away
Hopefully tomorrow's a brighter day
Still on days like this I get scared
My heart hurts like a razor blade shattering it deep inside

My eyes are sad but refuse to cry
For then I would be accepting this is how things are going to be
When at least now your body is free
From the rage inside and the thoughts that used to make you want to die

Today was not a rage
IDK if that is better or worse
You were in control it seemed to me
Not under the command of the man in your belly that used to be

Still watching you struggle
Is never an easy task
Praying and hoping the good times
Will come back to last

Hating to see my Princess be filled with sorrow
I shall go to sleep soon
For there is always the hope
Of a brighter tomorrow

I think things today were more of his Autism then his BP.  It's hard to know sometimes with all his alphabet soup going on.  He was in control.  One good sign is that he realized that what he did was wrong because he knew he needed to go in time out.  That's a big accomplishment for him.  He has a very hard time understanding how his actions affect others and often doesn't understand what he did was wrong.  Today he understood at least that it was wrong.  He does not seem to get the connection about how his sister felt yet though which is something we continue working on.  In his brain.... he loves locking the door.  He must have gotten very upset when she took the keys from him.  I guess he may need more 1:1 attention at home.  Since he's been doing so well, I admit I am guilty of not being right on him as much as I should be.  :( </3

Thankful Thursday 1-5-12

This is my 1st Thankful Thursday with my now public blog.  Here are some of the things I am thankful for:

1. God and all the blessings he's given to us.
2. That he trusted me with Honeybunches' care.  He trusted me enough and must have thought a lot of me. 
3. For the support and wonderful people I've found at TBMF.  
4. For Honeybunches' teacher who also has a child with Autism and truly understands.
5. For all the other support people and professionals in his life.  He has a very patient counselor whom he's seen since he was three.  His 1:1 aide is a good advocate for him. The SPED director has been pretty easy to work with.  All his help at school through OT, PT, Speech, Educational and Counseling has helped him make progress in all areas. He's had various professionals in his life who all made some difference, even if it did not seem like it at the time. 
6. For my family.  DH is so accepting.  My family is not perfect, but is mine lol. I'm thankful for all my in-laws have done for us too.  I'm thankful for Angel and Princess. 
7. For Honeybunches' sunshine!  He's doing better and made more progress then I ever thought possible. 
8. For each day God grants us here on this Earth.
9. For our needs always being met.  Although we are broke, we always have food, shelter and the other necessities in life. 
10. For God giving me the ability to be a good advocate for my son.  I've learned how to advocate through the "System" to get him the help he needs.  I know that God is to thank for all of that and so much more. 

Vegan Oatmeal Cherry Cookies

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977441497

Oatmeal Cherry Cookies
 

1 cup margarine
1 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
Egg Replacer equivalent to 2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. cinnamon
2 cups oatmeal, uncooked
1 cup dried cherries {I have also used dried cranberries or raisins... Either of them work just fine!}

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
• Cream the margarine with the sugars, beating until well blended. Add the prepared egg replacer and vanilla and beat for several minutes.
• Mix together the flour, salt, baking soda, baking powder and cinnamon. Add to the margarine mixture and beat until well blended.
• Stir in the oatmeal and dried cherries. Drop the batter by tablespoonfuls onto lightly greased cookie sheets and bake until the edges are just turning brown, about 12 minutes.

Vegan Apple Brownies

I don't remember where I found this recipe...

APPLE BROWNIES:

INGREDIENTS:

• 1/2 Cup Magerine, melted
• 1 Cup Sugar (Either Sugar-in-the-Raw or white sugar works fine)
• 1 small tub of Applesauce
• 3 Medium Apples
• 1 cup Flour
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp cinnamon plus extra to taste
• Dash of Nutmeg

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Grease baking pan
3. In a large bowl, beat together the melted magerine, sugar, and applesauce until fluffy.  Fold in the apples.
4. In another bowl, sift together the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg.  
5. Stir the flour mixture into the wet mixture until just blended.
6. Spread the batter evenly into the baking pan.
7. Bake for 35 minutes until the fork or toothpick comes out clean when inserted in center.

Vegan Cornbread

http://www.vegweb.com/index.php?action=printrecipe;topic=29697.0

Sweet Cornbread

Ingredients (use vegan versions (http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=15403.0)):

    1 cup cornmeal

    1 cup all purpose flour

    2/3 cup sugar

    1 teaspoon salt

    2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

    1/2 teaspoon baking soda

    1/3 cup vegetable oil (I've used magerine for a more buttery taste or applesauce to reduce fat)

     This recipe says: 1/2 cup vanilla nondairy milk (I used soy) and 1/2 cup water
         *** Instead I used 1 cup of Almond Milk or Coconut Milk

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease bottom of baking dish with a little oil. I used an 8 X 8" glass dish, but I'm sure this would work as muffins just as well.

2. Mix dry ingredients in a bowl with a fork or a whisk. Stir in wet ingredients but don't mix too much.

3. Pour into baking dish and bake for about 30 minutes, or until the edges are a little brown and tests done with a toothpick.

4. Take our and let cool for 15 minutes or so.

Makes: depends on the baking dish, Preparation time: 10 min, Cooking time: 30 min

Vegan Coconut Pineapple Bread

This is another one of Honeybunches' favorites:

http://vegetarian.about.com/od/breakfastrecipe1/r/cocopinebread.htm

Ingredients:

• 2 cups flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 cup vegan margarine
• 1/2 cup sugar
• Egg replacer for one egg
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 tsp rum extract (optional) {I have used more Vanilla instead and it worked well}
• 1/4 cup soy/almond/coconut or another nondairy milk {Coconut milk seems to cook up best in breads I've found}
• 1 8 ounce can crushed pineapple, with juice {I've also used canned Mandarin Oranges blended up in the food processor and it tasted amazing...}
• 1/2 cup chopped macadamia or other nuts (optional) {I don't use the nuts}
• 1/2 cup coconut flakes

Preparation:

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees and lightly grease a bread loaf pan. In a large bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
In a separate bowl, whisk together the margarine and sugar, then add the egg replacer, vanilla and rum extract.
Add the soy milk and dry ingredients to the wet mixture and stir well to combine. Add pineapple, including juice.
Gently fold in the nuts and coconuts
Pour into bread pan, then bake in pre-heated oven for about 1 hour.

Honeybunches favorite: Vegan Brown Gravy

http://cookeatshare.com/recipes/brown-gravy-93659

• 2 1/2 Tbsp. soy margarine or possibly butter
• 1/4 c. all-purpose flour
• 1 1/2 c. vegetable broth
• 2 Tbsp. soy sauce
• 1/4 tsp freshly grnd black pepper
• 1/4 c. minced fresh parsley

Directions

1. 5 SERVINGS DAIRY-FREE
2. Try this gravy with the Bulgur-Almond Stuffing (see recipe).
3. Heat margarine or possibly butter in small saucepan over medium-low heat. Add in flour and whisk together about 30 seconds; then add in broth slowly while whisking.
4. Cook over medium heat for 2 min. Add in soy sauce and pepper. Cook till gravy achieves desired thickness. Pour into a gravy boat or possibly bowl and stir in parsley. Serve hot.

Vegan Spaghetti Sauce (Even meat lovers love it lol)

Finally a recipe I take all the credit for lol.  I make my own pasta sauce all the time.  Here is one everyone likes and even Angel's friends don't realize it's vegan until after they are done eating and we tell them.  ROFL.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 Large can of tomato sauce or 2 smaller cans
• 1 can of diced tomatos
• 1 small can of tomato paste
• Seasonings: I use some Sazon, Adobo, and Italian mix (Parsley/Oregano, etc)
• Garlic cloves or minced garlic to suit your taste
• 1 package of Lite Life Smart Ground (Vegan ground "Beef")
• Onion cut up

 DIRECTIONS:

1. Heat some oil in a sauce pan over medium heat.  
2. Add in onions and garlic.  Saute until the onion is cooked soft. 
3. Add in Smart Ground and other seasonings.  Cook until browned. 
4. Add in diced tomatoes and then tomato paste.  Stir well.
5. Add tomato sauce.  
6. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about a half hour.

Vegan Strawberry Cake

I made this last year for DH's birthday.  Even though he's not a Vegan as my son and I are, it was a bit hit with everyone who tasted it!

http://adashofsass.com/2009/03/01/homemade-strawberry-cake/
Homemade Strawberry Cake
Adapted from Paula Deen’s Hummingbird Cake
Nonstick vegetable spray
All-purpose flour, for pans
3 cups self-rising flour (To make self rising flour: mix 3 cups flour, 1 1/2 tsp salt, and 4 1/2 tsp baking powder)
2 cups granulated sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil (Could also use Magerine or applesauce)
1 1/2 cup pureed strawberries, strained*
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 teaspoon lemon zest
4 Egg Replacer Eggs
 red food coloring**
Directions:
- Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Spray and flour three 8-by-2-inch round cake pans, tapping out excess flour; set aside.
- Prepare the cake batter; in a large bowl, stir to combine self-rising flour, sugar, oil, pureed strawberries, vanilla, lemon zest, and eggs.
- Divide batter evenly between prepared pans, smoothing with an offset spatula. Bake, rotating pans halfway through, until the tops spring back when gently pressed with your fingertips, 26 to 28 minutes.
- Transfer pans to a wire rack to cool 10 minutes. Invert cakes onto wire rack. Re-invert cakes and let them cool completely, top sides up.
- Frost with your favorite frosting recipe.
*  You can use fresh or frozen strawberries.  If you use frozen, let them defrost on a cookie sheet.  Then place in a food processor and pulse until pureed. 

Vegan Chocolate Frosting

http://dairyfreecooking.about.com/od/sweetsaucesfrostings/r/chocfrost.htm

Makes about 2 cups

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Total Time: 5 minutes

Ingredients:

• 2 cups organic powdered sugar
• ¼ cup (½ stick) dairy-free soy margarine, softened
• ¼ cup plain unsweetened almond milk or soymilk
• ¾ cup unsweetened pure cocoa powder
• ½ t. vanilla

Preparation:

1. In a medium-large mixing bowl, using an electric hand mixer, cream the powdered sugar with the soy margarine until mixture is thick but well combined. Add the almond milk, cocoa powder and vanilla, and continue to mix until smooth.

Vegan Pumpkin Pie

This one has been a hit with everyone... even non-vegans!  I make it every Thanksgiving.

http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=13464.0
Non-Tofu Pumpkin Pie

Ingredients (use vegan versions):

    Healthy oil crust:
    3/4 cup white flour
    1/4 cup whole wheat flour
    2 tablespoons ground flax seed, optional
    2 tablespoons wheat germ, optional
    1/4 teaspoon salt
    1/3 cup oil
    2-4 tablespoons nondairy milk (I use soymilk)

    Pumpkin filling:
    1 teaspoon lemon juice
    1 cup plain nondairy milk (I use soymilk)
    1/4 cup flour
    1/4 cup oil
    1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
    3/4 cup beet sugar
    1 3/4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
    1 teaspoon molasses
    1/4 teaspoon salt   

Directions:

1. For crust, mix together white flour, whole wheat flour, flax seed, wheat germ, and salt.  Mix in oil until completely blended.  Add nondairy mik until mixture holds together; add up to another 2 tablespoons milk.

2. Preheat oven 450 degrees F.  Roll out and place in a pie pan; trim off edges and place in the refrigerator until ready to use. For filling, add lemon juice and non-dairy milk to a measuring cup, and allow to curdle.  In a bowl, mix flour and oil thoroughly.

3. Combine and mix together milk mixture, flour mixture, pumpkin, sugar, pumpkin pie spice, molasses, and salt. Pour filling into pie shell and bake for 15 minutes. Turn down heat to 350 degrees, and bake 40-50 minutes.  Cool and serve.

Serves: 8, Preparation time: 2 hours
'

Vegan Sweet Potato Pie

http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/199/Michael-Jacksons-Sweet-Potato91281.shtml
I took this recipe and Veganized it lol.  Yummy!

INGREDIENTS:

• 3 Ener-G Egg Replacer Eggs
• 1/2 cup White or Sugar-in-the-Raw Sugar
• 1/4 cup melted magerine or applesauce to make it fat free
• 1/2 Tsp Salt
• 1/3 Cup of either Soy, Almond or Coconut Milk.  In this recipe I've found Almond Milk works best. 
• 1 Tsp Vanilla
• 1 Tsp Cinnamon
• 1 Tsp Nutmeg
• 2 1/2 Cups Sweet Potatoes: I've used mashed up canned sweet potatoes and it worked fine.  Heaping cups. 
• 2 Tbsp Lemon Juice
• 1 Pie Shell 

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Beat egg replacer eggs and sugar. 
3. Add Magerine or applesauce, salt, nondairy milk, vanilla, nutmeg and cinnamon.  
4. Blend egg mixture with mashed sweet potatoes and lemon juice
5. Pour into pie shell
6. Bake in preheated oven for 50 minutes to 1 hour or until golden and fork comes out clean.

Vegan Corn Muffins

Vegan Corn Muffins: Again I admit this is not my own recipe, but I forgot where I found it...

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 Tsp Ener-G Egg Replacer
• 2 T water
• 1 cup cornmeal
• 1 Cup flour
• 1 Tbsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 4 Tbsp sugar
• 1 cup soy, almond or coconut milk (Coconut milk cooks up lightest, almond makes it more thick).
• 1/4 cup oil, magerine or applesauce (I prefer this with magerine.  Applesauce makes this recipe fat free).

DIRECTIONS:

1. In a small bowl, wisk egg replacer and water together.  Set aside.
2. In a large bowl combine corn meal, flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. 
3. Add nondairy milk and corn oil to the mixture and wisk well.
4. Add wet ingredients to the dry.  Stir just enough to mix.  
5. Fill greased muffin tins 1/2 to 2/3 full.  
6. Bake at 425 degrees for 15-20 minutes until lightly browned.

Fat Free Vegan Brownies

I found this recipe and then changed it up a bit. 

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 Cups flour
• 2 Cups white sugar or Sugar-in-the-Raw
• 3/4 cups Hershey's Cocoa Powder (This really is so much better than the store brands I used a couple times)
• 1 Tsp Baking Powder
• 1 Tsp Salt
• 1 Cup Almond or Soy Milk (Chocolate comes out the best!)
• 1 Cup Applesauce (Or you can use the same amount of Magerine if you don't care about the fat content)
• 1 Tsp Vanilla Extract
• 1 bag of Vegan Carob or Chocolate Chips (Don't have to use the whole bag.  You can use as many as you like)

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. In large bown stir together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt. 
3. Pour in non-dairy milk, applesauce or magerine and vanilla.  Mix until well blended.  Spread evenly in a 9x13'' baking pan.  
4. Bake for 25-30 minutes until top is no longer shiny.  
5. Let cool for at least 10 minutes before cutting into squares.

Vegan cupcakes and frosting

Okay 1st my disclaimer: These are not my own original recipes.  Sometimes I have messed with the ones I've found elsewhere.  I have collected a binder full of them from many different sources and figured I'd share some that have been a hit. 

VEGAN CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES:
INGREDIENTS:

• 1 Cup Soy, Almond or Coconut milk (I've found that Chocolate milk of either type makes these taste the best.  Coconut seems to cook up lighter.  Almond milk makes it more thick and chewy.)
• 1 Tsp Cider Vinegar
• 3/4 Cup Sugar (Sugar in the Raw works great, but so would regular sugar)
• 1/3 Cup oil or magerine (I prefer melted magerine)
• 1 Tsp Vanilla
• 1/2 Tsp any other extract (I used more Vanilla)
• 1 Cup flour
• 1/3 Cup Cocoa Powder (This is one place I have found paying a little bit extra for the Hershey's brand really does make it taste so much better.)
• 3/4 Tsp Baking Soda
• 1/2 Tsp Baking Powder
• 1/4 Tsp salt

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Wisk together non-dairy milk and vinegar in large bowl.  Set aside for a few minutes so it curdles.  Add sugar, oil, vanilla and other extract to soy mixture.  Beat until foamy.  (Mine did not necessarily get "Foamy" but I just beat until well mixed.)
3. In another bowl sift flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt.  Add to wet ingredients. Beat until no lumps. 
4. Pour into liners filling 3/4 full.  Bake 18-20 minutes.

VANILLA CUPCAKES:

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 1/2 Cup Soy or Almond Milk
• 1 TBSP Lemon Juice
• 2 1/4 Flour
• 2 Tbsp baking powder
• 1/2 Tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup canola oil or magerine (Again as mentioned above the different milks cook up differently)
• 2 Tsp Vanilla Extract

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Line 16 cupcake tins
3. In small bowl combine non-dairy milk and lemon juice.  Mixture will curdle. 
4. In large bowl sift together flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt and sugar.  Set aside.
5. In another bowl wisk non-dairy milk mixture, oil/magerine, and vanilla.  Add wet to dry.
6. Portion into lined tins.  Bake 15-20 minutes. 

VANILLA FROSTING:
I made this all pretty for Christmas by adding in some red and green food coloring in different batches.  For some reason this never comes out right as the recipe says.  It makes it more icing when the kids prefer frosting.  I add in more sugar until I find the consistency right. 

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 Cups powdered sugar
• 2 Tablespoons magerine
• 2 Tablespoons Almond Milk
• 1/2 Tsp Vanilla

DIRECTIONS:

1. Combine all ingredients.  Add more sugar until you reach the desired consistency.  Beat on medium speed until smooth.