Feels great to be appreciated!

My little man can be so sweet.  Yesterday I told him he should put some slipper socks on so his feet don't get cold.  I asked if he wanted me to get him some.  He gave me a big hug and said "Momma I love you for all the things you get for me".  Then today while helping him wash his hair he said "You are such a good Mom"!  Those moments warm my heart.

My bragging rights!!!

Being a full time college student while raising a son with special needs has not been easy, but I longed to stimulate my brain a bit.  The final grades for this semester got posted this morning.  I must say that I am proud of myself!  I got:

• Computer Technologies A;
• Intro to Early Childhood A;
• Algebra I B; 
• Intro to Psych A-. :)

Next semester begins on January 18th.  My agenda for this session includes:

1. Sociology: Marriage and the Family
2. Algebra II
3. Guiding Child's Behavior
4. English 102

I am taking two classes online and two on campus. My brain likes stimulation and I seem to thrive by keeping busy.  I really love challenging my brain through school and helping others through moderating the online support groups. 

Next month is full of appointments.  Honeybunches has to go see his GI doc to see how his liver ultrasound came out and to get the results of his last blood work. If you have not read previous posts, he has a "Fatty Liver".  We also got him into a major teaching hospital to get a 2nd opinion on his meds, which are working very well but causing the health issues.  I trust the pdocs at this major hospital much more than the ones near where we live.  Honeybunches also goes to see his pediatric specialist dentist next month.  We shall see how that goes lol because he complains of a few teeth hurting.  I have to bring myself to the doc next month for a stress test on my heart and a physical.  There is a strong family history of heart disease in my family.  The doc just wants to be safe because last month I was having chest pains, plus I get tired easily and get migraines frequently.  So January will be full of appointments and updates. 

Celebrating Holland

https://sites.google.com/site/mendonuptonpac/poems/celebrating-holland

Celebrating Holland- I'm Home By Cathy Anthony

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different than I'd planned. I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger, the pain and uncertainty. In those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad. I think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

Welcome To Holland

http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html 

Welcome To Holland

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I'm Going On A Journey

http://www.child-autism-parent-cafe.com/I-am-going-on-a-journey.html

I Am Going On A Journey

I am going on a journey,
Won't you come along?
I need someone to help me. 
A person big and strong.

I'm walking on my journey
But my feet are very small.
Can you stand beside me,
And catch me if I fall?

At times when I can't keep up
With life and all its fears,
Can you put me on your shoulders
And wipe away the tears?

When the steps I take are not big enough
And it's hard for me to grow
I know I can depend on you
To let me take it slow.

I'm going on a journey,
Please, won't you walk with me?
I need someone who understands 
The place where I should be.

I promise when the road is tough
And you want to turn back home.
I will hold your hand real tight,
So you won't feel so alone.

I'm going on a journey
I don't know where it ends,
But if we walk together,
We can always be best friends.

And when the journey's over
And we find where we should be.
I know that you will be so glad,
You took this path with me.

I'm going on a journey,
Please, won't you come along?
I need someone to guide me
A parent—big & strong. 

Written by Sally Meyer

IEPs By Dr. Seuss

http://www.ldonline.org/article/6259/

Dr. Seuss on IEPs

(1999)

I do not like these IEPs
I do not like them, Jeeze Louise!
We test, we check,
We plan, we meet,
But nothing every seems complete.
Would you, could you like the form?
I do not like the form I see,
Not page 1, not 2 not 3
another change,
A brand new box,
I think we all
Have lost our rocks,
Could we all meet here or there?
We cannot all fit any where.
Not in a room, Not in a hall,
there seems to be no space at all.
Could you, could you meet again?
I cannot meet again next week.
No Lunch, no prop,
Please hear me speak.
No, not at dusk. No, not at dawn.
At 4 P.M., I should be gone.
Could your hear while all speak out?
Would you write the words they spout?
I could not hear, I would not write,
This does not need to be a fight.
Sign here, date there,
Mark this, check that,
Beware the students ad-vo-cat(e)
You do not like them,
So you say
Try again! Try again!
And you may
If you will let me be,
I will try again,
You will see
Say! I almost like these IEPs
I think I'll write 6,003
And I will practice day and night
until they say
You got it right

Some of my favorite quotes

"Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you."   -- Maori proverb

"Every child is gifted.  They just unwrap their packages at different times."  -- unknown

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Take time to come home to yourself every day."  -- Robin Casarjean

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." -- Robert Brault

"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." -- Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful."  -- Annette Funicello

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." (Albert Einstein)

"The only way we can be there for our children is to be there for ourselves." (Anonymous)

"You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil ... you are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability." -Lori Borgman

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." -Bill Cosby

"The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears." (Ellen Goodman)

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." -- Robert Brault

"Perseverance is not a long race. It is many short races one after another." - W. Elliot

"If you think you can or you think you can't, either way, you'll be right." -Henry Ford

"Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you'll be able to see further." -Thomas Carlyle

"Courage is being scared to death - and saddling up anyway!" -John Wayne

"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama

"Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same." -Franz Peter Schubert

"What lies behind us & what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Children remind us to treasure the smallest of gifts, even in the most difficult times." - Allen Klein

"There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties or you alter the way you meet them." (Phyllis Bottome)

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa)

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength." - Christopher Reeves

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world." - Heather Cortez

Mood Charts and More

There are online ones at http://www.moodtracker.com andhttp://www.psychtracker.com. Mood Tracker is the one I've used all along with Honeybunches. There are also several different paper ones to chose from including:

http://www.toolboxparent.com/Documents/moodchartbetsy.pdf?

This one has some good mood charts beginning on pages 25. I didn't read the article, just peeked at the mood charts.http://www.bcss.org/documents/familytoolkitweb2010/FTModule5LowRes.pdf
This is another one by Julie Ward:http://www.healthyinfo.com/consumers/ho/bipolar/Mood.Diaries/Mood.Chart.4.Boys.pdf
http://www.bpkids.org/learn/library/instructions-for-kimberlys-mood-chart
http://www.bpkids.org/sites/default/files/shellysmoodchart.pdf
http://www.psychiatry24x7.com/content/backgrounders/psychiatry24x7-nd.emea_com/blank_chart.pdf
http://www.manicdepressive.org/images/moodchart.pdf

Pill Swallowing Tips

Throughout the years I have compiled this list of pill swallowing tips I thought others might find beneficial:

Applesauce has worked best with Honeybunches. Here are some other tricks:

There are several tricks to help others swallow pills that parents on this website have discovered. Here are some that others have used with success:

Practice with swallowing tictacs
Hide the pill in the middle of marshmallows
Put the pill in some jelly, applesauce, pudding or yogurt

Make it fun/exciting

Red tic tacs: (Go into bathroom; Mommy places one on her tongue and swallows it; admire the red dot left on Mommy's tongue; then the child gets to try)

Disguise the drug: put the drug in a food that the kid likes. Some use ice-cream, jelly, chocolate syrup, applesauce, frosting, etc.

Spoon trick: Put the med into applesauce, jello, pudding or jelly; offer the child the spoon while still holding it, kid opens mouth and tries to consume the yummy stuff while you KEEP THE SPOON in their mouth. End result is that the kid looks at you like you are a weirdo but they have to suck the yummy contraband off the spoon and they are focusing on the SPOON in their mouth, not the med.

Bribe trick: Give the kid candy, computer time, tv time, cash, whatever it takes for each dose. Cost to parent is less than the cost of parental therapy for the battle."

My favorite educational resources

I have struggled to get my boys the accommodations they need in school to get them a successful education, so I know how hard it can be to deal with the school system. This all can be so frustrating and overwhelming. I have spent countless hours researching IEPs and regulations about special education to get my sons the help they need. Some of the books about special education that I have found helpful are:

Wright's Law Special Education Law, 2nd Edition by Peter W. D. Wright & Pamela Darr Wright (Wright's Law also has a website at http://www.wrightslaw.com/bks/selaw2/selaw2..htm)
Wright's Law From Emotions to Advocacy by Peter and Pamela Wright
The Complete IEP Guide by Lawrence Seigel (**This one is my favorite because it is easiest to read and has many sample letters**.)

There is also a new book called Swivel To Success "Bipolar Disorder in the Classroom. A guide to helping student's succeed"by Tracy Anglada that is written for teachers. The website http://www.bpchildren.org/bookstore.html states: "SWIVEL to Success" is based on a teacher workshop developed by BPChildren to help educators understand and assist students with bipolar disorder".

Some websites that I have found helpful with alot of information about Special Education are:
http://www.thebalancedmind.org/learn/education-issues
http://www.concordspedpac.org
http://www.specialed.us/pl-07/pl07-ieppro.html (This one is the easiest to understand)
http://www.ldonline.org
http://www.bridges4kids.org
http://www.wrightslaw.com
http://www.familiesofkids.org/education.html#L006
http://www.schoolbehavior.com/Files/tips_mood.pdf. http://www.schoolbehavior.com.

STATE SPED TIMELINES:
http://www.copaa.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/State_Eval_Timelines_Updated.pdf

Increasing teacher awareness of Bipolar Disorder:


http://www.thebalancedmind.org/learn/library/an-educators-guide-to-pediatric-bipolar-disorder
http://www.thebalancedmind.org/sites/default/files/edbrochure.pdf
http://www.bpchildren.org/files/Download/Educator.pdf
http://www.studentsfirstproject.org/documents/Bipolardisorderfactsheet_000.pdf
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder-in-children-and-teens-easy-to-read/index.shtml
http://www.nasponline.org/resources/principals/bipolar.pdf
http://www.familiesofkids.org/education.html
http://www.visualspatial.org/Kids/vslkids.htm

My favorite resources for raising a child with Bipolar...

My favorite resources for raising a child with Bipolar Disorder:

The Balanced Mind Foundation website has some information I have found to be very helpful. "About Pediatric Bipolar Disorder" http://www.thebalancedmind.org/learn/library/about-pediatric-bipolar-disorder is a very informative article has information on the diagnosis, prognosis, first steps of what to do when you find out a child you love has BP, finding a doctor, goals of treatment, medications, therapy, parenting a child with Bipolar, education, support for parents and more. Getting Started http://www.thebalancedmind.org/learn/getting-started is a great section of the website that helps parents get support for themselves, build a proper treatment team, expand their knowledge of BP, and look at how a child's illness affects his or her education.

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder-in-children-and-teens-a-parents-guide/nimh_bipolar_children_parents_guide.pdf
National Institute of Mental Health issued this publication recently. It is very detailed and includes a ton of information I believe you will find beneficial.

Books about Bipolar:
Some of the books which I found very helpful are:

"The Bipolar Child" by Demitri and Janice Papolos
"The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child" by Judith Lederman and Candida Fink MD
"Bipolar Kids Helping Your Child Find Calm in the Mood Storm" by Rosalie Greenberg MD

Websites about Bipolar:
The following websites may be helpful with increasing your and your families knowledge about Bipolar Disorder:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/index.shtml
http://www.bpkids.org/flipswitch CABF now has a Teens and 20s section called Flipswitch
http://www.dbsalliance.org
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=about_bipolar_overview
http://www.nami.org/
http://www.mha.org/

Websites about helping a loved one with Bipolar which may be helpful:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/bipolar_disorder_family_friends_support.htm
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=about_helping
http://www.healthyplace.com/bipolar-disorder/support/twelve-things-to-do-if-your-loved-one-has-bipolar-disorder/menu-id-67/
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/02/22/8-ways-to-help-your-bipolar-loved-one-cope/

Wishing and Pain (Two poems)

WISHING: written by me aka seekingsunshine

Wishing for a boy
That I never ever knew
Wishing for a school
That could see the best in you

Wishing for more sunshine
In cloud filled skies
Wishing for happiness
When you long to die

Wishing for happiness
When your heart is filled with pain
Wishing for the hottest sun
To dry up all your rain

Wishing you could play
Like other kids do
Wishing they would make you happy
See the best in you

Wishing you had other children
To whom you could relate
Wishing you could get what you need
Them to understand; to educate

Wishing you could be treated
Like the good boy that you are
Wishing they would see
You are my shining star


All the wishes I could wish
Never wanting to change who you
Mommy loves you forever
I see the best in your heart so true



Pain (Written by me aka seekingsunshine)

The pain in your heart
Others could never understand
They never held you close as I did
With your heart beat as their marching band

They were not with you
When you were scared of everyone in sight
They were not with you
On your first day afraid of light

They do not know
The feelings that you hide
They do not know
All the confusion and terror inside

They did not hold you
Hourless nights as you cried
From all the terrors
You had inside

Cars falling of bridges
Train crashes
Being eaten by sharks
Buildings burned to ashes

All filled with blood and gore
You wanted so desperetly
To suffer from them
No more

They were not with you
For your four hour rages
They were not with you
For all the first stages

They do not understand
The choices we make
They do not understand
Why we even medicate

They did not have the sleepless nights
As they watched your every breath
They did not have the five hour rages
Watching you suffer from your internal fight



They do not see the sadness
Deep inside your eyes
They do not see the happiness
You have trapped inside

They do not see the happy boy
Who makes my world so bright
They do not see what I see
They do not see your light

Advocating forever
Until others understand
Never giving up
Until all our know ledged in our land

My son with Bipolar (Poem)

My Son with Bipolar (Written by me aka Seekingsunshine)

God looked the whole world over
He chose me to parent a son who is bipolar
To love him when he’s filled with fright
From the terrors that horror him in the night

He knew we were strong enough
To deal with the storms inside his brain
To help him be calm
In all his hearts rain

He looked for the one who would love this child
Try their best to turn his frowns to smiles

To make the sun shine on the cloudiest day
To knowledge others about the condition
Especially
When nobody will listen

He looked for patience understanding and love
He looked for advocates better than a judge
The special child is a gift from above
Inside his madness; He is filled with much love

The love that can not escape through the chained bipolar gate
Inside his rapid changing mind
Racing manic, rage, and sad
There is a little boy Who needs help to be glad

God looked the whole world over
To choose me to parent a son with bipolar