Partial Hospitalization

DH called this morning to see about the partial hospitalization program.  The lady at the phosp he was at was saying that they had a waiting list.  DH got right in though.  It could be because he's so special lol.  He's been at this partial before and at the phosp portion of it before (Both in the same phosp unit).  When he called staff knew who he was.  It's great he can begin tomorrow.  I think I'll drive to college again in case Honeybunches' school needs to contact me.  DH said his meds could be a little better so hopefully they'll fix him up just right.  He's doing much better though.  He thinks maybe he needs things raised a little bit.  He trusts the partial pdoc more than his own pdoc so it's great he's going there.  I agree that the phosp doc at this partial always fixes him up best too.  Honeybunches had a pretty good day today.  He said school was awesome, but nothing was written in his communication book.  He had one issue outside with my father.  He pushed a dolly into my father.  My father then threw cold coffee all over Honeybunches' on purpose.  Thank goodness my father only drinks it cold!  I hope he'd have enough sense to never throw hot coffee!!! I was a bit mad about that.  My father is so much like a child sometimes.  He said "Well he did ____ first!"  LOL.  I guess that's part of his old age.  He is 88 years old and has the beginning of Alzheimer's.

Our Raised Garden Bed

Our raised garden bed we were blessed with from The Seeds of Solidarity. 

Another view of the new raised bed.  Princess, DH, Honeybunches and I helped the ladies from The Seeds of Solidarity make it, put the soil in and planted seeds/seedlings! Isn't it beautiful?  I'm so excited to begin gardening 2012~!

Dear WalMart Onlookers

"Dear Old Ladies and Other People At WalMart This Morning,

I know you heard my son screaming throughout the store. He picked one toy after 15 minutes of searching, then decided he didn't want it. There was nothing else he could afford that he wanted. He pinched me and began screaming. My husband escorted him out of the store while you all were staring at them with wide open eyes. Literally, I seen all 10-15 of you giving them looks. One old lady said the right thing "At least he took him out of the store". In the parking lot he seemed to calm down. Then my husband let him go use his $5 on the crane machine. He asked his sister to use the machine for him. She didn't win anything. My son got really mad saying it was all her fault. He then began getting aggressive again with my husband. My husband was not abusing him when he was restraining him by the truck, he was just trying to keep him from hurting other people... although with the looks we received I think that's what some of you all were thinking. You see, he has Autism and Bipolar. That's something I felt like screaming at all of you onlookers today, but I am too quiet and you are all unlikely to understand anyways. Staring and sharing your comments doesn't really help the situation. Thank You nice worker at WalMart whose seen us many times for asking me how I was doing."

I know that the old ladies and other shoppers won't see that, but I just wanted to get it off my chest. I thought Honeybunches would do better with DH home, but it's not looking that way. :(

On the way to the truck Honeybunches was repeatedly trying to bite DH, who was holding his hands because he was also trying to pinch and hit him.  Then Honeybunches was kicking and almost kicked DH in his you know where.  That's why Dh restrained him against the truck while I opened the door. Inside the truck Honeybunches kept trying to hurt Daddy.  He was screaming so loud because DH held his hands.  He let go because Honeybunches promised to use calm his body. That lasted a couple seconds, then his hands swung at DH and he tried to bite again.  DH held his hands all the way home.  Honeybunches screamed all the way.  I'm glad it's only a few minute ride!  Once home, DH sat him in time out.  Now he's outside playing again. 

DH believes Honeybunches probably needs a med adjustment... and soon!  I said we'll wait and see how next week goes at school.  If he's still struggling there too, then we might end up calling the pdoc for another appointment (We're scheduled in on May 2nd, but if he's not doing any better that might be too long) or calling Crisis Mobile Services to try and experience them for the first time.   

DH came home yesterday after a 7 day phosp stay.  He seems happy and to be doing well.  He's now on Cymbalta, Geodon (Which went generic last month, with this being his first generic script), Remeron, Trazadone, and Neurontin.  The mix seems to be working.  We'll see after a few days goes by how he's doing then.  

Honeybunches' Therapeutic Mentor got cancelled.  Her boss called yesterday to let me know.  She said that Honeybunches' was a "Safety issue".  She said that M won't be involved with him anymore at all and won't be seeing him again.  That makes me a bit heartbroken.  I think a "Goodbye" visit and some closure for him would be in his best interest, but oh well... nothing I can do about it.  I just hate how these places never are what they seem to be.  It seems that they refuse to give help to the children who need them most.  If he was "Neurotypical" then he wouldn't need services.  Part of it was the mentor's fault in that she never had her cell phone when she'd go places with him.  Here is the definition of what a Therapeutic Mentor is supposed to do from the website above:

"THERAPEUTIC MENTORING SERVICES (TM) are provided to youth (under the age of 21) in any setting where the youth resides, such as the home (including foster homes and therapeutic foster homes), and in other community settings such as school, child care centers, or respite settings. TM offers structured, one-to-one, strength-based support services between a therapeutic mentor and a youth for the purpose of addressing daily living, social, and communication needs. Therapeutic Mentoring services include supporting, coaching, and training the youth in age-appropriate behaviors, interpersonal communication, problem-solving and conflict resolution, and relating appropriately to other children and adolescents, as well as adults, in recreational and social activities. TM promotes a youth’s success in navigating various social contexts, learning new skills, and making functional progress in the community."

So obviously they were supposed to work with him to address his social needs, to train him about appropriate behaviors, problem solving and conflict resolution.  I am heartbroken because they had a good bond.  He's been with her for over a year now.  They don't live up to what they are supposed to be doing.  What type of conflict resolution and problem solving did they teach him?  What, that if he does things he'll get kicked out of them for misbehaving?  I hope that does not go over to his thoughts about school next week.  If he has a day he doesn't feel he wants to be there he might use what he learned from the situation with M there!  They did say they'll put him on the waiting list for a male mentor, but at this time they don't have any working there.  They said another counseling agency in town does, but I am not interested in going there.  We tried that in the past.  They kicked him out of their counseling center a few years ago after he raged in the office (After I suggested it was not a good idea for him to go in alone but they told me it was policy).  Then I believe they called DCF on us.  No thanks!  I am all set with that place and will never take my son there again!!!! I told Honeybunches that M could not come anymore because her boss said.  I asked how he felt about that.  He said "Fine" but he never really voices his feelings about anything.  He has trouble finding the words.  I just wonder if them ending his services with M is going to contribute to his negative behaviors more.  

 Oh get this... I talked to the Pastor of my church about Honeybunches.  He asked if I ever thought what's going on with him could be spiritual.  I said "Nope, never thought of that".  He wants to try to pray with him on Sunday.  We shall see how that goes lol, but I told him he could try.  If only things were that easy.  If all our children got the spirit would they be all better than?  I guess we are going to have a meeting with pastor, his wife, the little girl who Honeybunches had up in the corner last Sunday and the Sunday School worker on Tuesday. (Honeybunches was not listening in Sunday School so the lady came to get me as she looked frazzled.  When I went back to the room, Honeybunches had the little girl up in the corner.  IDK if he did anything to the girl.  Guess I'll find out on Tuesday.  It seems like the father is blowing the whole thing out of proportion.)

Lady Blessing

Dh had his meeting today.  They didn't tell him when his expected date of release is like he thought they would.  Honeybunches did well for Angel while I was at college this morning.  I had to go today because I had a big test.  I was worried about him, but thankfully he didn't have any issues she said.  That all changed this afternoon.  His therapeutic mentor asked to bring him for a walk down to the pond at the highschool.  Because he had a good day today and he did fine there for me last time I said okay.  That turned out to be a big mistake!  I got a call about 45 minutes after they left saying that I needed to walk down towards the school.  As I walked up Honeybunches and his mentor were sitting there with another lady.  I was wondering who she was.  Then she introduced herself as she said "Hi I was driving by when I seen him with a big rock throwing it at her, almost hitting her head and my car so I stopped because I didn't think she could handle him herself.  I work at the school with children who have behavioral issues.  I sat with him and had him take deep breathes."  Wow.  What a blessing she was!  I explained that he has Autism and Bipolar.  She was very understanding.  She asked me if he had a counselor.  I said "Yes and he's on meds".  She said she was thinking about calling the police but didn't think they'd do much good.  (Thanks lady!) She began telling me about "If you go home and he's still unstable you can call crisis".  "Yes I know, but I don't think that's necessary."  I thanked her for stopping.  She was happy I was not mad at her because "Some parents would be".  His mentor told me that they were down at the pond.  She gave Honeybunches 4, 3, 2 and 1 minute warnings that it would be time to go.  He just "Flipped" she said.  He tore her necklace off her neck, twisted her breast, bit her arm (She has a couple nasty black and blues on her arm and was bleeding), and pinched her. While she was prying his hands off her she accidentally dug her nail into his arm so he was bleeding too. 

I got home and called his counseling agency where his pdoc works.  She's in tomorrow so I called and talked to the receptionist to inquire if the pdoc has any cancellations when she does her reminder calls tonight if she can please call me.  She said she would.  Then I also called back and left the pdoc a message telling her I talked to the receptionist plus asked pdoc for a lab slip.  I mentioned how he has been "Hyper, irritable and aggressive". Knowing her I'm pretty sure she'll call back tomorrow or talk to us when we go see his counselor in the afternoon. I had been debating calling her all week, but this was the final straw.  If his therapeutic mentor goes back to the office and tells her supervisor, they might suggest that he should have been evaluated or something.  At least by calling the pdoc, I am covering my butt and Honeybunches' butt too.  I don't know what tomorrow will bring though.  Honestly I am scared.  No, I am terrified.  I am terrified about changing his meds trying to make things better and then having them get worse instead. That's happened in the past and I really don't want that to happen again.  He's been such a "Tough cookie" to medicate.  IDK if the pdoc even knows what to do with him.  I always said to myself if the time came for med changes I'd bring him back to Tufts in Boston.  They were so awesome before, but are over a two hour drive each way.  I might just give this pdoc a change.  I have a feeling she's going to ask what I want to do though.  I like that sometimes, but other times I wish she'd give a bit of direction.

EDIT: Counseling agency receptionist called back.  Pdoc had a cancellation for tomorrow at 2 pm.  So he'll see her then and his counselor at 5.  We'll just hang around town instead of driving back and forth to save gas.  Maybe I'll make an attempt at grocery shopping to see if we can make it lol.  If not I'll find something else to make the time go by... 

Bam!!!

This morning everything was fine.  I took Honeybunches for a walk around the block and to the high school down the street.  They have a beautiful small pond that is infested with all sorts of wildlife.  We stopped there.  He walked down to the edge of the shore to search for frogs.  He was all excited we seen one jump! He was talking to them and everything lol.  I sat on the grass enjoying listening to all the sounds of nature sing to me.  It was so relaxing.  We stayed there probably 20 minutes or so, then walked back home.

When we got here things were fine for a while.  Honeybunches was outside while I was doing some school work.  Then.... BAM!!!! All of a sudden my brother yells for me.  Honeybunches was trying to attack my parents with a stick and was throwing rocks at my father. I ran down the stairs, out the door and around the side of the house when I seen my mother finally get the stick from him and seen him throw another rock at my Dad.  I escorted him by the shoulders into the back yard away from them.  I was debating restraining him, but wondered if the nosey neighbors would call the cops on me lol. Then I put his hands behind his back for a minute and walked him up the stairs. On the way in I held his shoulders and escorted him again. In the living room he refused to go upstairs, tried kicking the dog and was kicking the trash cans.  He also tried to bite me.  I had to hold his body.  Finally he went upstairs.  I slipped him a PRN Clonidine for the first time ever, along with his regular noon time meds.  He's still very irritable, so IDK if it did any good.  IDK how I am going to get to school on Tuesday if things continue like this.  Nothing provoked him.  That was like the old Honeybunches again. At least the other day he had reasons why I believed he was aggressive.  This time I was clueless.  He's not scheduled to see the pdoc again until May 2nd, but I might call Tuesday to see if they can get us in sooner.  Maybe they will have a cancellation for Wednesday.  That would be good, to at least get a lab slip so we can see what his Lithium level is before his next appointment.

Dh called me a few times today.  The pdoc put him back on Geodon twice a day instead of once.  Same dose the other phosp had him on just split in two.  They made him choose between that and Seroquel because they're the same type of med and pdoc there says he doesn't need both.  Dh was wondering if he made the right decision he said.  He didn't think he'd sleep last night.  They gave him Trazadone which did help with that so he didn't have any issues.  They also kept him on Cymbalta, Neurontin and Remeron for now. Hopefully those changes will work...

EDIT: I went downstairs to talk to my mother and find out more of what happened.  Things were not as bad as they first seemed.  Honeybunches did have a reason: He was in the garage.  My father told him to get out.  On his way out he fell down.  My mother thinks he must think it's my father's fault he fell because then he said he was going to use the stick to sling rocks at my father.  He was not trying to attack my mother with the stick as my brother thought.  Still, he should not be trying to hit my father with rocks, or sling them at him.  My mother stepped inbetween Honeybunches and my Dad because she's younger and can move quicker. So that's the whole story.  It's not so scary when he at least had a reason. 

DH's Vacation #2 of 2012

DH went on another "Vacation" today.  This morning he woke up and called crisis.  We went for the eval about 10 am.  By 10:15 they said he met the criteria for admission.  The lady said it was unacceptable how the last hospital left him without meds and sent him away so quickly.  We were sent to the hospital so DH could get medically cleared.  A few hours went by and finally the nurse came in and said they were sending him to a hospital out near Boston.  That hospital is almost two hours away so I won't be able to see him until he comes home.  Hopefully they will do a good job with his meds so he can come home happy.  He just called and said he doesn't like that place.  He has to share a room with 3 other people.  That ought to be fun for them tonight when they hear him snoring like a chainsaw lol.  He said the pdoc is making changes already.  He took him off Seroquel because he said DH doesn't agree with him being on both Geodon and Seroquel.  He did put him back on the Geodon that the other phosp took him off of.  DH is worried about how he'll sleep without it.  Pdoc said Remeron should help with that, but DH said he doesn't think it will.  While on the phone with him, some lady came and tried to grab the phone out of his hands and was grabbing him.  DH won't tolerate that very well.  I hope he does a good job controlling his body so he does not get sectioned (Section 12'd).  They took all DH's clothes to put them through some dryer, don't allow belts or shoe strings. DH said he hates walking around in a Johnny. He won't be able to wear most of his clothing because his jeans need belts or they will fall off his butt.  So far Honeybunches is doing okay for me.  Next week is vacation week so we shall see how that goes...

The Boy I Didn't Want To See

So DH came home on Friday.  Right away the chaos began.  Not with him, but with the phosp.  They were supposed to call in his meds to the pharmacy.  They upped his Seroquel to double what it was before he went.  They also put him on Depakote and raised another med.  Well, they didn't even call in his new Seroquel!  Then he called them to talk about it.  The social worker from the phosp said for him to call his regular pdoc.  The regular pdoc is not the one who prescribed the new dose!  Rrrrr.  Anyways, that phosp stay seemed to do absolutely nothing.  He said he's still hallucinating.  He continues to isolate a lot and seems very depressed.  He's not irritable, but his depression seems more severe than it was before he went on his "Vacation".  He said he's going to go back to crisis on Friday.  I'll tell them he needs a different phosp.  I don't care if it is across the state!

Today Dh worked at the book fair for a few hours.  He was not home when Honeybunches got off the bus.  It was "The Boy I Didn't Want To See" and not my loving Honeybunches who came off that bus.  He wanted to immediately go see him.  Volunteering at the bookfair (PTO run) is like working so I could not just bring him there.  I told him that I'd call him and see if he could go stay with him for a little while when I went to Honeybunches' conference.  Well that was not soon enough.  He got very frustrated. Here is what about a half hour consisted of:

• Me restraining him 3x
• Pulling my hair really hard, so hard that he made me cry
• Kicking me
• Dumping a whole container of iced tea all over the kitchen
• Throwing a bottle of cleaning solution on the floor
• Pinching me
• Throwing a container of kool-aid on the floor, making a huge mess again and breaking the container
• Trying to hit me with the broom
• Dumping all the train tracks and trains out of a toy box
• Kicking the toy box
• Pushing everything off the side table in my room

I'm sure that there were a few other things that happened to.  Needless to say, I rescheduled his conference that was supposed to be at 12:30.  Those things happened 2-3 or more at a time.  They are listed in no specific order because my brain is fried so I can't remember what order they happened in.  He did them.  I restrained him when he began hurting me.  I let him go.  Things proceeded calmly for about 2-3 minutes (If that) and then he got aggressive again so I restrained him again.  He is getting so strong now.  All 106 lbs of him!!!  Even when he was smaller as he raged he got super strength from somewhere.  Now-a-days he literally scares me on days like today.  Things have not escalated to that point for quite a long time.  Honeybunches also didn't have any computer privileges today and didn't get to go anywhere outside except in our yard. Some days we've been letting him ride his bike to the church up the street, but I told him today I didn't trust him.

Last night he woke up in the night to eat, which also has not happened in a while.  I was not going to give in to his 2:30 in the morning whines for wanting apples and peanut butter.  I thought if I gave in then he'd wake up every night again.  That used to happen but has not for a few months until last night.  Well after a good half hour or forty minutes of screaming at me, I was so tired and my head was hurting that yes... this momma did give him a snack or rather I let him eat some of the snacks the Easter Bunny gave him.  

His conference went well.  Mrs Understanding said that Honeybunches' has just not been himself lately.  He's been "Gitty and hyper and silly" at school.  He accomplished reading another 50 books though!!! She gave him a certificate and a new Webkinz.  He's making a ton of progress and doing better than most of the class with Math.  She talked to me about possibly keeping him for 5th grade too, but that's something we'll discuss more next year.  She said we should think about it though.  I said "That would be awesome".  She thinks there is a way maybe she could have him for 5th and then he could transition to 6th at the middle school which is technically 7-8th, but depending on which program he goes into there he may be able to go for 6th.  Skipping the transition to the school that typically is for 5-6th would be great. She mentioned some "Life Skills" program, but didn't seem to think that would be a good fit for him. 

I only have about 4 weeks left in this semester of school.  I am struggling in Algebra II but the rest of my classes are going well.  I hope that I pass as that's all I am hoping for that class, although passing that is a C or better. Ugh.  They offer free tutoring at the college which I might take advantage of.  It's never been easy for me to ask for help which is what stops me from going there.  I may just have to let my pride down and do it.  I registered for a full load next semester.  I'll take two classes online, two on campus (Which will be long days two days a week from 6 am-1 pm including the bus rides), and a 15-18 hour a week practicum which is like student teaching.  I have to take 5 classes next semester and 4 the semester after.  Then I'll be done!  That is.... as long as I pass this semester's math.  :( Next semester sure is going to be busy.  I chose to take 5 in the fall so I can save up during the Summer to buy my books.  Taking 4 aide has covered all of them, my tuition and given me a few extra $$$. Unless I get one of the scholarships I applied for, I will have to come up with some $$$ somehow to pay for the books.  I will keep searching on Ebay for the ones I see there.  Maybe by the fall I'll find most of them there, but there is always the game of new books every semester that the publishers like to do.  Ugh!

Small situation at school yesterday; DH coming home

Honeybunches' teacher called this morning.  She said that yesterday he was in the computer lab before dismissal time.  When it was time to leave he refused.  He began throwing the keyboard and mouse plus knocking things over.  He had to have a quick restraint and was escorted down to the time out space in the behavioral room.  He calmed himself.  Then when it was time to get onto the bus, he tried refusing again.  His 1:1 aide and another male aide had to escort him onto the bus.  I'm glad they did that because I was just getting on the bus when school was getting out and it was time to get on the bus.  They would have had to wait an hour for me to get back here, or my brother would have to go pick him up.  IDK if he could handle him when he's like that.  :( His teacher said they didn't want him to get into the habit of having me come get him when he refuses to get on the bus.  I'm glad that she did that.  Yesterday when Honeybunches came home, I asked how his day was.  He told me "Awesome", but he didn't have his communication book to tell me otherwise so I could not talk to him about it.  His aide and teacher apologized for the book not coming home.  She did call me this morning and his aide actually got on the bus here so he could tell me about it.  Those are both good things.  I appreciate their communication.  His teacher also mentioned that he's been silly and hyper lately.  She wondered if it could be med related.  Nothing has changed. I told her it could just be the seasonal changes affecting his Lithium level.  DH said a big part of his hyperness could just be that he's not here, but I was noticing little changes even when he was here.  I was blaming that on Honeybunches feeding off of DH's negativity.  IDK.  1:1 aide was asking me if Honeybunches is like that again should he leave him here when I'm not home.  I told him that we don't have to worry about it anymore, because DH is coming home today. That was the shortest "Vacation" ever.  IDK if he is ready.  They did some med changes so we'll see.

Jesus Bring The Rain

Again to watch the video hit II on the music player.  This video and song always touch my heart, especially on days like today.  No matter what life brings, my faith is always strong.  Nothing will get me down "Jesus Bring the Rain".  Here are the words...

"I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty"

Dilema

This afternoon I seen DH and had a care plan meeting with his phosp social worker.  They put him on Depakote.  DH seemed okay.  He didn't make much eye contact with me at all though which is different.  I think I might have hurt his feelings before he went in when he was really unstable that day and I told him i did not want to be with him anymore.  :(  I apologized for saying what I did.  His worker thought it was awesome how DH and I seem to be on the same page about his care plus how much I know him.  He said he was amazed how good I seemed to be doing with everything.  I told him honestly it can get very frustrating sometimes dealing with him when he's unstable.  So the meeting went well.  I gave some valuable input the worker said.  I told him that the best meds DH has been on in the past were his Seroquel and Geodone.  IDK exactly what else they are doing with his meds.  DH has it in his brain that he wants to come home Friday.  Tonight on the phone I told him he should stay until the docs said he's ready.  He told me that they can't tell him when he's ready and that he doesn't see staying when he does not need to be there.  Ugh.  I hate it when he gets like that.  He does seem much calmer than when he went in though.  I could tell that from our visit.

This evening Honeybunches had counseling.  That went pretty well until it was almost over.  Then I hear his counselor screaming my name up the hall.  I turn the corner to see her restraining him.  He tried trashing her office again and she admits he scares her.  She feels intimidated by him and that's not good.  He's good at knowing things like that and pushing more buttons because of it.  In the hall he grabbed her breast really hard.  Out of instinct she smacked him!!!! She apologized to me about 4x.  I told her I was not mad.  Now please don't get me wrong.  Any other counselor, I would have been pissed, infuriated, very upset, filing complaints and finding a new counselor.  She has been with him since he was three.  She normally has the patience of a saint.  Any other counselor would have given up long ago.  In fact a couple have, but she quickly took him back.  She's been a blessing in his life.  Tonight I realized just how intimidated she is of him though.  She admitted she is.  While he was in the bathroom we talked for a bit.  He brought up how Daddy was in the phosp.  She began talking about his feelings, which he hates to do.  He seemed okay until the appointment was over, then he began having the meltdown.  The thought passed through my head while driving home if he'd be better off with a male counselor, but IDK if anyone would have the patience to get through to him like she has.  As I mentioned, I am letting that incident go.  I don't hit him.... EVER.... but maybe he will learn that he can't just go touching women.  Hypersexuality used to be a big issue with him, but his phosp stay back in the beginning of 2009 squashed that for a long time. Anyways, because his counselor is who she is, has dealt with Honeybunches since he was three, has dealt with him through so much, and because of her other good qualities I am not going to file a complaint.  I hope she does not get fired because she hit him in the hall and the pdoc seen her do it.  She is getting older, so I hope this does not cause her to retire.  When we left the counseling appointment he said "So no computer right"?  I said "Nope" so he knew that was part of his consequence.  I didn't let him go to the Dollar Tree as we had planned. He asked to go there to spend his $5 from doing the garbage cans which Gramma pays him each week. Part of me was thinking of letting him go because it would make things easier to get him the half hour home, but that would not have been the proper way to deal with things.  He was mad about not going there in the beginning after I told him.  He smacked the door of the Blazer a few times, but that was all.  He dealt with it much better than I thought he would have.  I was expecting that blowing up way more and was making plans of where would be a good spot to pull over and how I'd deal with it lol.  He fell asleep within minutes of driving and napped all the way home.  Phew!!!

Yesterday Honeybunches was awesome without any issues.  Today at school he was good too, but did have a tumble off the swing at the end of the day that scared him more than anything.  He was not hurt, but came home in a bad mood I am thinking because of that.

DH's approved vacation

So DH got admitted today.  We called crisis services at 9:30.  First they told us they could not see him until noon time, but then called back and said they could see him earlier.  So we went to their office at about 10:30.  We were in and out of there in about 20 minutes.  They sent us to the ER so DH could get health clearance, while they searched for a bed.  Things at the hospital ER took forever!  We were there from about 10:50 until... well DH is still there now!  I had to leave at 2:30 to get Honeybunches off the bus.  Then he refused to go to the hospital with me because his uncle told him this morning he'd bring him to the library after school.  So I just drove back to bring DH his bag while my brother took him.  DH told me, finally they found him a placement.  We were hoping for a certain hospital in the city I go to college in.  Not only is it close enough I could walk there while I wait the couple hours for the bus, but that's where he usually goes.  He is a "Frequent flyer" there so they know how to do a good job with his meds and know him well.  But nope, they didn't have any beds so he is in the next closest town to where we live, but in the opposite direction.  He's been to this place before.  They have an amazing flower garden on the grounds, but the visitation sucks.  They don't allow children.  Last time we could not even visit him on the unit.  He had to wait until he was approved for a pass so we could go to the cafe and out to the garden.  Oh well.  I will be out there in that town on Wednesday because there is an awesome discount grocery store, so I hope they'll be able to work something out so maybe I could visit him.  One good thing about that place, is that his pdoc works in that town so maybe he will be able to see DH while in the phosp.  Hopefully they can fix his meds right so he is not Mr Grouch anymore.  So far today, Honeybunches is doing well for me, but it's early yet.

Goodbyes

I just got a message from Shnooks on Facebook in response to my birthday message.  He said "Bye".  Then I wrote back and asked him what he meant by that.  He wrote back and said  how he's 18 now, off probation, doesn't have a fine to pay anymore, bye as in he is moving to Florida with his "Real family" because his gramma is sending him a plane ticket.  Yup, the gramma who abused him and neglected him so bad.  The gramma who beat him when he told her that his half brother sexually abused him.  The Gramma who whooped him with rose thorns that he showed me the scars of as he told the story with tears in his eyes shortly after we got him.  The gramma who made him kneel in the corner on rice.  The gramma who made him wear rags several inches too short for clothes although DH and I bought him new clothes that were left hanging in his closet.  The gramma who hit him with all types of objects.  The gramma who he said beat him all the time.  The gramma who Shnooks told me stories of stabbing him as he also showed me those scars all over his body.  The gramma who made a ton of broken promises just like his "Real Momma" did.  His "Real Momma" also sold his Christmas presents and birthday presents on more than one occasion to buy crack.  At least that's what Shnooks and my DH told me.  "Real Momma" was never really in his life.  "Real Momma" often told him she'd send something for his birthday.  I remember one year she even asked him what he wanted.  Then he was waiting and waiting but nothing ever came.  Yup, that's "Real". I am just the lady who took him into my house, clothed him, loved him, helped him with school, held him when he was crying, dealt with him going through puberty as he asked me for advice, cared for him, provided for him, never broke a promise, and did all I could for him.  I guess there is nothing real about that... :(   He has it in his brain that we lied to him, that his "Real mom" sent him $$$ which we never gave to him (Sometimes when we needed food or he needed clothing, shoes, school stuff or something we didn't but we'd buy him something with the $$ instead of letting him spend it foolishly).  He has it in his brain that they sent him tons of $$ when that is so far from the truth.  We can count on one hand the times they've sent him things and it was not more than $20 at a time. They really have him brainwashed... Oh well.  I played messaging games with him for a while tonight then finally I was the one to say "Bye" and that I hope he has a good life.  I told him I'm done trying.  There are some things in life I will NEVER understand...

Hyperness and Food Aggressions

Honeybunches has been real hyper.  The children and I went to church by ourselves today, because DH said his brain was not right and he was too paranoid.  Honeybunches did well through the whole service.  There were less children there than usual.  He did great in Sunday School too and stayed for that whole thing, which doesn't usually happen.  We had fellowship so we had to stay until everyone was done eating.  Honeybunches was so hyper.  He was running around and began knocking all the books down on the shelf.  Finally I told Pastor we had to leave, because he was not going to handle it much longer.  So we came home and ate lunch.  Then he went outside.  Well he was not out there long before the neighbor ladies came to tell us that he was kicking balls into the street.  I made him come upstairs for a while.  Then he remained active, but was fine for most of the day.  He took his bath without incident. :) Then at 8 I gave him a snack which was a whole English Muffin.  Well at 8:30 he decided he wanted to eat again.  I told him he was all set, because he had just eaten.  Well he didn't like that answer lol.  He began fussing nonstop, refusing to get in bed.  He tried to pinch me, threatened to throw a ceramic bowl on the floor, tried throwing things at me, and tried grabbing this railroad tie (That he got at counseling... IDK why she let him take it home...)  I held his hands and got him back in bed.  Then he tried grabbing his helicopter.  I know his plan was to hit me with it.  I sat in bed with him.  Then DH came downstairs so of course E calmed down.  I decided to throw the railroad tie away, because it had a pointy end and could be very dangerous.  I don't really trust him with it.  Well that began a screaming and kicking fit with him because he wanted to bring it to share on Friday.  He said Mrs Understanding said he could bring it.  I thought for a minute and told him that I'd put it up.  He is not to touch it.  On Friday I will hand it to his aide on the bus who will hold it until Share time and that I didn't want Honeybunches holding it himself.  I made it clear he was not to touch it and put it on top of our highest shelf in the kitchen when he was not looking.  That calmed him down and he went to sleep. I hope tonight is not any indication of how things are going to be when DH goes to the phosp tomorrow.  :(  I might just let him have his extra damn snacks lol.  That's not really good for his health though so I should not do that.  It would make things a lot easier for a few days though...