Honeybunches seen the pdoc this afternoon. After looking at his most recent blood work from last week, we discussed possibly putting him on Geodon and taking him off the Abilify. She basically let me decide if we should leave things alone or if I thought we should change. After how concerned his primary care doc sounded on the phone and seeing his blood work for myself I thought it would be best if we did change. She told me that Geodon is gentler on his body, especially his liver. We are going to go up on Geodon slowly, then once he's up to where she wants him, then we will titrate him off the Abilify. Here is her plan:
Dec 26/27
20 mg 1x day
Dec 28/29
20 mg 2x day
Dec 30/31
20 mg am and 40 mg pm
Jan 1/2
40 mg 2x day
Jan 3/4
40 mg am and 60 mg pm
Jan 5 and ongoing....
60 mg 2x day
Then we'll wait 5 days. On January 10th, we'll begin titrating down his Abilify. Right now he's on 5 mg 2x day. Here's how she's going to take him off:
Jan 10-12
2.5 mg am and 5 mg pm
Jan 13-15
2.5 mg 2x day
Jan 16-18
2.5 mg once a day
Jan 19th stop Abilify
She was saying how we could go up to 160 mg on the Geodon if we have to. She was sharing with us how she recently went to a conference where they mentioned that Geodon seems to not work with children because doctors don't go high enough on it, so she wants to get his dose up there. So even when we get him where she wants him initially, there will still be room to go up. The pdoc gave me her cell phone # to call her, even over the holidays, if we have to. She is taking the nice chart/calendar she made me about his med titrations with her wherever she goes she said. :)
I am scared to change, but the time has come. She gave me a copy of his labs. They did a ton of blood work, but here are the concerning #s:
D. Bili 0.3 Should be 0.0-0.2
Cholesterol 240 Should be under 200
Triglycerides 352 Should be under 150
HDL 35 (Says that is low)
AST 88 Should be 10-36
ALT 131 Should be 24-49
His Lithium level was good at .9.
I hope things go well with this med change. Pdoc thinks Geodon would be easier on his liver as well as not cause as many issues with his triglycerides and liver enzymes.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
Sick Little Man
Today begins the Christmas break from school. They don't go back until January 2nd. Honeybunches has been battling a cold-like illness since November 8th. He has a very nasty cough. I took him to the primary care doc on Monday. She didn't think it was anything catchy or anything that needed antibiotics. She put him on Prilosec for what she believed to be reflux. Well it's not doing anything. I knew that was not his problem. My 16 y.o now has the same cough. I hope hers goes away quicker. I hope they can find out what's going on with him too. He goes back to the regular doc on the 31st, yup New Years Eve. If he's still coughing as bad as he has these past couple days, then I think I'll try to get him in to be seen next week instead. I might get a 2nd opinion from a different doc. That's one good thing about going to such a large practice. There are about six other docs there I believe.
On Monday we took Honeybunches to get a bunch of fasting blood work that both his pdoc and GI doc ordered. Today his primary care doc called me to say that his cholesterol, triglycerides and liver enzymes are all much higher than they were. She was like "Put him back on whatever diet you had him on before". The problem is that nothing changed. He's still on the mostly Vegan totally Vegetarian diet. The only exceptions are still the ranch dip and the Morningstar Farms brand meat alternatives. They don't have cholesterol. Thankfully we have a pdoc appointment on Monday. Yup... That's how we plan to spend part of Christmas Eve lol.
His 1st appointment with his new counselor got cancelled because the counselors wife had a baby. He'll call back in a few weeks to schedule something the counseling center said.
This morning when I dropped him off he noticed the police man standing in the front of the building. He asked why he was there. I said "To help keep you all safe" and left it at that. The principal let Honeybunches be an assistant police officer today. (They had extra police because so many people were concerned with it being 1 week after the CT tragedy, some rumors going around town that teens at the highschool might have planned on shooting the school, and many people rediculously believing today was the end of the world.)
Letting him be the assistant police man was a great way to approach things with him. That lessened any anxiety he might have had to zero. I went back in the afternoon for their Holiday Party. It was great spending time with him. I got to see how he loves helping the janitor collect the garbage in the afternoon, his friends, a gecko another classroom has which he loves to go visit, help him with his gingerbread house, and see the classroom's new Ipads. He had a lot to show me in the 1 1/2 hours I was there. It was a great visit! I love seeing him at school.
This morning when I dropped him off the teacher told me how the behavior specialist came to see him earlier in the week. She's updating his behavior and safety plans. She also created a new incentive plan. They used the new plan yesterday and today. Both were awesome days. I guess the behaviorist changed things up a bit. In the previous plan, he could earn things by getting enough circles for doing a good job, but if he did something that was against the rules then his chances of earning it disappeared. Now with the new plan, I guess the chances of earning it don't go away. He can have all day to have chances to earn whatever it is. I will know more once the plans are complete and I get copies of them. The new plan seems to be working, at least for now.
I am really concerned about Honeybunches health issues. I think it's time to strongly consider changing one of his meds. From what I am reading, Abilify is the most likely culprit for the triglycerides and liver enzymes being so high. In the past, the pdoc has suggested that we might think about changing that for Geodon in the future. I will read up more on that over the weekend so I can go into the pdoc appointment on Monday with some type of possible things to discuss. I hate change. I am terrified of changing anything with him. I fear that he'll become aggressive and unstable like he was back in 2008 before this current med mix was put in place during his hospitalization in Feb 2009. I don't want to go back to those days, especially now that he's stronger, older and bigger. Maybe the med change would go okay, because he is older and more mature now. Still I find myself worrying a lot about this since the phone call. I'll know Monday exactly what his levels were. The pdoc gives me copies of the lab reports.
He's been okay here at home. Some days he gets a bit hyper and overstimulated, but I think that's just from things related to the holidays. He's not had any major issues though thankfully. I'll update Monday after his pdoc appointment...
On Monday we took Honeybunches to get a bunch of fasting blood work that both his pdoc and GI doc ordered. Today his primary care doc called me to say that his cholesterol, triglycerides and liver enzymes are all much higher than they were. She was like "Put him back on whatever diet you had him on before". The problem is that nothing changed. He's still on the mostly Vegan totally Vegetarian diet. The only exceptions are still the ranch dip and the Morningstar Farms brand meat alternatives. They don't have cholesterol. Thankfully we have a pdoc appointment on Monday. Yup... That's how we plan to spend part of Christmas Eve lol.
His 1st appointment with his new counselor got cancelled because the counselors wife had a baby. He'll call back in a few weeks to schedule something the counseling center said.
This morning when I dropped him off he noticed the police man standing in the front of the building. He asked why he was there. I said "To help keep you all safe" and left it at that. The principal let Honeybunches be an assistant police officer today. (They had extra police because so many people were concerned with it being 1 week after the CT tragedy, some rumors going around town that teens at the highschool might have planned on shooting the school, and many people rediculously believing today was the end of the world.)
Letting him be the assistant police man was a great way to approach things with him. That lessened any anxiety he might have had to zero. I went back in the afternoon for their Holiday Party. It was great spending time with him. I got to see how he loves helping the janitor collect the garbage in the afternoon, his friends, a gecko another classroom has which he loves to go visit, help him with his gingerbread house, and see the classroom's new Ipads. He had a lot to show me in the 1 1/2 hours I was there. It was a great visit! I love seeing him at school.
This morning when I dropped him off the teacher told me how the behavior specialist came to see him earlier in the week. She's updating his behavior and safety plans. She also created a new incentive plan. They used the new plan yesterday and today. Both were awesome days. I guess the behaviorist changed things up a bit. In the previous plan, he could earn things by getting enough circles for doing a good job, but if he did something that was against the rules then his chances of earning it disappeared. Now with the new plan, I guess the chances of earning it don't go away. He can have all day to have chances to earn whatever it is. I will know more once the plans are complete and I get copies of them. The new plan seems to be working, at least for now.
I am really concerned about Honeybunches health issues. I think it's time to strongly consider changing one of his meds. From what I am reading, Abilify is the most likely culprit for the triglycerides and liver enzymes being so high. In the past, the pdoc has suggested that we might think about changing that for Geodon in the future. I will read up more on that over the weekend so I can go into the pdoc appointment on Monday with some type of possible things to discuss. I hate change. I am terrified of changing anything with him. I fear that he'll become aggressive and unstable like he was back in 2008 before this current med mix was put in place during his hospitalization in Feb 2009. I don't want to go back to those days, especially now that he's stronger, older and bigger. Maybe the med change would go okay, because he is older and more mature now. Still I find myself worrying a lot about this since the phone call. I'll know Monday exactly what his levels were. The pdoc gives me copies of the lab reports.
He's been okay here at home. Some days he gets a bit hyper and overstimulated, but I think that's just from things related to the holidays. He's not had any major issues though thankfully. I'll update Monday after his pdoc appointment...
Sunday, December 16, 2012
For Sale: One Daddy on Ebay... and Thoughts On CT Tragedy
Once upon a time there was a little man who said... "Rrrr I don't like Daddy. I'm gonna sell him on Ebay. He should go back to New York where he came from..." Yup! Little man is not happy tonight. We had to give him his medication an hour late because tomorrow morning we have to go to the lab. They have to draw it 12 hours after his last dose of Lithium, but they don't open until 7:00. Usually he has his night meds at 6, but on the evenings before blood draws, we have to change the time to seven. Anyways, Honeybunches is hyper tonight. There were no major incidents, just him playing around a bit too rough with his sister Princess, using not nice words with Daddy, and other small stuff like that. Daddy has been getting frustrated easily, losing his patience and not using the best choice of words. That's caused me to be a bit frustrated with DH. I don't believe that he's been taking his morning medications and think he needs to start again. DH's lack of patience and word choice in turn makes Honeybunches more upset. In his words "Daddy gets me going...". When Honeybunches said he wanted to sell Daddy, I had to make myself not laugh, because in reality it was not funny but he was so serious the way he said it was hilarious. Honeybunches has been doing good calming his body though. He came up with a new coping skill on his own a couple weeks ago. He will go into his room, get in bed and either cover his head with a pillow or just lay there and read. Sometimes he'll humm to himself.
Reading everything about the tragedy in Connecticut has been really depressing me. As I think back to how my son was before his hospitalization back in 2009, I can honestly say my heart is filled with fright. I have so many fears about his future. He used to have very serious aggression, instability and rage. There were times that I was terrified of my six-year-old. That's something that others would never understand, until they have a child with Bipolar who was as unstable as he was or have a child with another diagnoses which can cause the uncontrollable, unprovoked aggression. He would get this look in his eye. Then it was like something overtook his body. He was not in control anymore. It was like he was not even there. It was not my son doing these things. Yes, on his current regime of meds, he's much different now, but still sometimes I wonder about what his future will hold. Sometimes it's to hard to think about so I try to focus on each day. Could my son be capable of something like what happened on Friday? With all of my heart, I hope not, but part of me looking back at how he used to be honestly has that fear. I refuse to let that be my son's destiny.
That's why I never let him play with toy guns and teach him guns are bad. This is why I keep advocating so strong for him to get the help he needs. This is why I don't give up. This is why I remain determined to keep fighting. This is why I don't care if people at the school like me. They can hate me all they want to. I won't shut up until my son is getting all the help he needs there. When he does, I am happy to thank them for doing a good job. When he doesn't or when things aren't right, I will make my voice heard until they fix it. This is the reason why I listen to that voice inside my heart that tells me when things just are not right and when they are. I don't think I am alone, in the world of parents who have children with mental illness as I wonder if my son could ever be capable of something like that. I am scared. No, I am terrified. I think one difference is that I am not scared to say that I am. There has to be changes in the mental health system. I will remain dedicated to making sure my son gets his needs met at home, at school and in the community with the hope that I will make a difference.
The children, principal, other professionals, and children who died on Friday are receiving millions of prayers. I also think we should stop and pray for this man's forgiveness. Pray for his brother and the rest of his family. They lost love ones too and will have to live the rest of their lives dealing with this horrific tragedy their brother died committing. They are the forgotten ones, but I believe they are just as worthy of prayer as the families of those children. Yes, I can see how some people will say that the children were innocent and this man was not. The killer was somebody's brother, somebody's son, maybe somebody's uncle and cousin. I wonder what happened in his life that made him come to that? We shall never know because he's dead. I pray that he'll be forgiven and his family will have strength to get through this too.
Reading everything about the tragedy in Connecticut has been really depressing me. As I think back to how my son was before his hospitalization back in 2009, I can honestly say my heart is filled with fright. I have so many fears about his future. He used to have very serious aggression, instability and rage. There were times that I was terrified of my six-year-old. That's something that others would never understand, until they have a child with Bipolar who was as unstable as he was or have a child with another diagnoses which can cause the uncontrollable, unprovoked aggression. He would get this look in his eye. Then it was like something overtook his body. He was not in control anymore. It was like he was not even there. It was not my son doing these things. Yes, on his current regime of meds, he's much different now, but still sometimes I wonder about what his future will hold. Sometimes it's to hard to think about so I try to focus on each day. Could my son be capable of something like what happened on Friday? With all of my heart, I hope not, but part of me looking back at how he used to be honestly has that fear. I refuse to let that be my son's destiny.
That's why I never let him play with toy guns and teach him guns are bad. This is why I keep advocating so strong for him to get the help he needs. This is why I don't give up. This is why I remain determined to keep fighting. This is why I don't care if people at the school like me. They can hate me all they want to. I won't shut up until my son is getting all the help he needs there. When he does, I am happy to thank them for doing a good job. When he doesn't or when things aren't right, I will make my voice heard until they fix it. This is the reason why I listen to that voice inside my heart that tells me when things just are not right and when they are. I don't think I am alone, in the world of parents who have children with mental illness as I wonder if my son could ever be capable of something like that. I am scared. No, I am terrified. I think one difference is that I am not scared to say that I am. There has to be changes in the mental health system. I will remain dedicated to making sure my son gets his needs met at home, at school and in the community with the hope that I will make a difference.
The children, principal, other professionals, and children who died on Friday are receiving millions of prayers. I also think we should stop and pray for this man's forgiveness. Pray for his brother and the rest of his family. They lost love ones too and will have to live the rest of their lives dealing with this horrific tragedy their brother died committing. They are the forgotten ones, but I believe they are just as worthy of prayer as the families of those children. Yes, I can see how some people will say that the children were innocent and this man was not. The killer was somebody's brother, somebody's son, maybe somebody's uncle and cousin. I wonder what happened in his life that made him come to that? We shall never know because he's dead. I pray that he'll be forgiven and his family will have strength to get through this too.
There was something about seeing President Obama wipe the tears from his eyes as well as that poem/picture above that touched my heart the most. Both of them had tears in my eyes and made my heart ache.
Communication is really lacking with Honeybunches new 1:1 aide. At this point, I am not liking her. There's not much I can do, except make my voice heard about what concerns me. She hasn't done anything that's really horrible. I just am not too fond of her. I know that she finds Honeybunches intimidating. She's impossible to talk to. I just don't feel like she's the right fit for my son. Maybe as the year goes on, she can be molded to be a better fit. IDK. I guess time will tell.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
IEP + What aide said = Momma Bear Not Happy!
So Honeybunches brings me his Home-School Communication Book as he says:"Mom Mrs T is not going to be on the bus one day. She said either I have to do a good job or get a ride that day." That got Momma Bear out of hybernation LOL.
I told him I'll give him a ride that day. Then I wrote his teacher a bitchy email. Well, I tried to be nice lol... I said "Mrs T has not told me, but (Honeybunches) mentioned to me that "One of these days Mrs T is not going to be on the bus. She said either I have to do a good job on the bus or get a ride." I would rather just give him a ride that day. Could you let me know which day she won't be there?"
Then after thinking for a few more minutes I wrote another email:
"Also his IEP states 1:1 aide will ride the bus with (Honeybunches) to and from school." If Mrs T is not going to be there on certain days, there should be a replacement or she should talk to me in advance to see if I would mind bringing and/or picking him up on that day. She can't just expect him to do a good job without one because that is against what his IEP states. I don't think it's fair to say that he either has to do a good job or get a ride when 1:1 aide on the bus is in his IEP. Of course, this is coming from (Honeybunches) words, which may or may not be what was really said. Anyways, I just wanted to clarify which day she won't be on the bus. Whatever day it is she's not going to be there, I will bring him. That's not my issue. It's the principle of things. I already told (Honeybunches) I will drive him. I'm just writing to clarify what was said to him and let you all know that if what he said is the words she used, I have issues with that because it goes against his IEP."
Updates from school
12/10/12 Note from Communication Book:
"He had a good day. Some testing behaviors. Very silly at different parts of the day. He refused to read when I asked him to. It was nothing big. He made a good choice in the end. He seemed thirstier than normal. He drank 3 bottles of water. He had a good day overall."
12/11/12
Honeybunches woke up before 5 am this day! He had a productive morning though. He chose to complete a spelling sheet that came home. That was all his idea. He took it out of his bag, sat at the table and did it all within just a couple minutes.
Note from Communication Book:
"Several refusals today. He also refused to come out of the bathroom at snack because he was angry at me. I told him he did not earn eating his snack int he meeting room because he refused to do some of his Math. He began to crawl on the bathroom floor. There was no reasoning with him so (Principal) came to intervene. He came back to class fine. He refused to complete reading, so he lost free time. After lunch he was okay until about 2:15. He became disruptive, so he was escorted to time out. He went willingly."
12/12/12 Awesome day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12/13/12: Note from Communication Book:
"He had a good morning. However, after lunch his behavior went downhill. He ended up having to be restrained. He became aggressive towards (1:1 aide), kicking and pinching her. During Word of the Day, he became very silly and disruptive. He was given choices. As a result, he needed to be escorted out of the room to the time out space and was engaged in a brief restraint. He calmed quickly. He came back to class and participated very nicely in our BINGO game. The incident was prompted by a refusal to comply with a simple request after choices were given. He swiped contents off the chalkboard. He then grabbed the remote off a tv cart in the hallway and attempted to throw it down the hallway. While being escorted, he became aggressive."
I wonder how his afternoon will go. Right now, he went for a quick ride with Daddy to go look at the train tracks with the hope a train will pass by. Honeybunches knows that when he is aggressive with people, he doesn't get computer privileges for the rest of the day. I hope that doesn't cause issues. We shall see!!!
It's hard to believe only 12 days left until Christmas. My little man still believes in Santa. Yesterday he was so cute. After school he was telling me how the principal has Santa's # and told him that they've been good. He asked if I had Santa's # too. Then he said "Ssshhhhhhhhhh he is watching".
"He had a good day. Some testing behaviors. Very silly at different parts of the day. He refused to read when I asked him to. It was nothing big. He made a good choice in the end. He seemed thirstier than normal. He drank 3 bottles of water. He had a good day overall."
12/11/12
Honeybunches woke up before 5 am this day! He had a productive morning though. He chose to complete a spelling sheet that came home. That was all his idea. He took it out of his bag, sat at the table and did it all within just a couple minutes.
Note from Communication Book:
"Several refusals today. He also refused to come out of the bathroom at snack because he was angry at me. I told him he did not earn eating his snack int he meeting room because he refused to do some of his Math. He began to crawl on the bathroom floor. There was no reasoning with him so (Principal) came to intervene. He came back to class fine. He refused to complete reading, so he lost free time. After lunch he was okay until about 2:15. He became disruptive, so he was escorted to time out. He went willingly."
12/12/12 Awesome day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
12/13/12: Note from Communication Book:
"He had a good morning. However, after lunch his behavior went downhill. He ended up having to be restrained. He became aggressive towards (1:1 aide), kicking and pinching her. During Word of the Day, he became very silly and disruptive. He was given choices. As a result, he needed to be escorted out of the room to the time out space and was engaged in a brief restraint. He calmed quickly. He came back to class and participated very nicely in our BINGO game. The incident was prompted by a refusal to comply with a simple request after choices were given. He swiped contents off the chalkboard. He then grabbed the remote off a tv cart in the hallway and attempted to throw it down the hallway. While being escorted, he became aggressive."
I wonder how his afternoon will go. Right now, he went for a quick ride with Daddy to go look at the train tracks with the hope a train will pass by. Honeybunches knows that when he is aggressive with people, he doesn't get computer privileges for the rest of the day. I hope that doesn't cause issues. We shall see!!!
It's hard to believe only 12 days left until Christmas. My little man still believes in Santa. Yesterday he was so cute. After school he was telling me how the principal has Santa's # and told him that they've been good. He asked if I had Santa's # too. Then he said "Ssshhhhhhhhhh he is watching".
Monday, December 10, 2012
Honeybunches Counseling Appointment Scheduled
Honeybunches teacher is back in school as of today. YEAY! He was testy, but without major issues.
We finally heard from his counseling center. Honeybunches' will have his 1st appointment with the man counselor B next Monday. See more about how Honeybunches intoduced himself to this man here. I was so proud of him that day! Anyways, I am glad we finally have an appointment for him. Crisis has called 3x since last week to check on Princess. We are still waiting to hear about an appointment for her.
We finally heard from his counseling center. Honeybunches' will have his 1st appointment with the man counselor B next Monday. See more about how Honeybunches intoduced himself to this man here. I was so proud of him that day! Anyways, I am glad we finally have an appointment for him. Crisis has called 3x since last week to check on Princess. We are still waiting to hear about an appointment for her.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Concerns with Princess
Yesterday morning I got a call from the school. Interestingly, it was not from Honeybunches school. It was from Princess' school. Princess had told a friend at school that she's been having suicidal thoughts. The friend told a teacher, who discussed it with Princess. She admitted it was true, so they sent her to the counselor at school. Princess has a history of cutting herself. They've never been deep cuts, mostly just superficial ones so light that they don't bleed. The school counselor called me and suggested that we get her a crisis evaluation. We have been discussing her psychological well being a lot in the past few months. At least that counselor takes parent-school communication seriously.
So I went down to the school to talk with Princess and her counselor a bit. The counselor and I called crisis together. I had the counselor tell them what was happening at school because she sees that all 1st hand. They suggested that I bring Princess down to their office for a crisis eval, so I drove her there. While there the evaluator suggested that Princess might have PTSD from the mess she went through with Shnooks and other stuff from her past. Princess told the crisis lady that she gets random thoughts of killing herself. Nothing seems to bring them on. They just come. Some of them are graphic, but Princess would not talk about any specific plan. She said those thoughts scare her. When they asked her why she cuts herself, she said "I don't know" and refused to talk about it. They didn't see her as needing inpatient hospitalization and put Princess on their referral list to see a counselor. They said it should only be about a two week wait. I explained to them how we've tried counseling for her in the past, about five different times. She has trouble opening up and talking with anybody. Then they usually give up on her and tell me it's not working, before she can build up the trust that she needs to confide in them. Princess internalizes things a lot and it's hard for anyone to get her to talk. They are going to see if a male counselor is available. All the ones we've tried have been females, so they think maybe a male would work better. She agreed to try it.
With the family history of BP and mental illness being so strong on both DH and my side sometimes I wonder if there is more going on with Princess then we know about.
The tricky thing with Princess is that she doesn't seem depressed. She present like a well spirited, happy, energetic child. She does have a tendency to get impulsive, which they notice more at school. She's a hard one to figure out.
There is some other stuff going on with Princess that I found out yesterday. She disclosed something to the crisis worker that she didn't know how I'd react to when one lady took her in another room alone. I don't feel comfortable discussing that here, but now that she let me know maybe she'll be in a better mental place.
So I went down to the school to talk with Princess and her counselor a bit. The counselor and I called crisis together. I had the counselor tell them what was happening at school because she sees that all 1st hand. They suggested that I bring Princess down to their office for a crisis eval, so I drove her there. While there the evaluator suggested that Princess might have PTSD from the mess she went through with Shnooks and other stuff from her past. Princess told the crisis lady that she gets random thoughts of killing herself. Nothing seems to bring them on. They just come. Some of them are graphic, but Princess would not talk about any specific plan. She said those thoughts scare her. When they asked her why she cuts herself, she said "I don't know" and refused to talk about it. They didn't see her as needing inpatient hospitalization and put Princess on their referral list to see a counselor. They said it should only be about a two week wait. I explained to them how we've tried counseling for her in the past, about five different times. She has trouble opening up and talking with anybody. Then they usually give up on her and tell me it's not working, before she can build up the trust that she needs to confide in them. Princess internalizes things a lot and it's hard for anyone to get her to talk. They are going to see if a male counselor is available. All the ones we've tried have been females, so they think maybe a male would work better. She agreed to try it.
With the family history of BP and mental illness being so strong on both DH and my side sometimes I wonder if there is more going on with Princess then we know about.
The tricky thing with Princess is that she doesn't seem depressed. She present like a well spirited, happy, energetic child. She does have a tendency to get impulsive, which they notice more at school. She's a hard one to figure out.
There is some other stuff going on with Princess that I found out yesterday. She disclosed something to the crisis worker that she didn't know how I'd react to when one lady took her in another room alone. I don't feel comfortable discussing that here, but now that she let me know maybe she'll be in a better mental place.
"So What Do You Do All Day"?
Yesterday somebody asked me:
"Do you work"?
I said:
"I have a son with Autism and other special needs who gets SSI so I stay home".
Person said:
"So what do you do all day"?
I had to think quick, so I said "Housework". Later on today at home I was thinking of all the smart responses I could have come up with. Seriously? What do I do all day? Well besides the added responsibilities of nurse, counselor, referee, self defense trainer, butt wiper, clothing dresser, housekeeper, janitor, therapist, medication runner, appointment taxi driver, pharmacist, short order cook, dish washer, laundry cleaner/dryer/folder/sorter/put-a-way-er, educational advocate, lawyer, civil rights worker, secretary, security guard and whatever else should come with being the parent of a child with Autism, BP and other special needs, I found this:
A Mother's Job Description
I thought that was pretty awesome! I love how she said ""I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
I was also impressed by her comment "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
LOL That's one of the best examples of what we do that I've found yet! Doesn't it sound professional?
"Do you work"?
I said:
"I have a son with Autism and other special needs who gets SSI so I stay home".
Person said:
"So what do you do all day"?
I had to think quick, so I said "Housework". Later on today at home I was thinking of all the smart responses I could have come up with. Seriously? What do I do all day? Well besides the added responsibilities of nurse, counselor, referee, self defense trainer, butt wiper, clothing dresser, housekeeper, janitor, therapist, medication runner, appointment taxi driver, pharmacist, short order cook, dish washer, laundry cleaner/dryer/folder/sorter/put-a-way-er, educational advocate, lawyer, civil rights worker, secretary, security guard and whatever else should come with being the parent of a child with Autism, BP and other special needs, I found this:
A Mother's Job Description
I thought that was pretty awesome! I love how she said ""I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
I was also impressed by her comment "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
LOL That's one of the best examples of what we do that I've found yet! Doesn't it sound professional?
Honeybunches Snooping and Goodness
Things with Honeybunches have been going awesome. Although his teacher has been out of school since the Tuesday before Thanksgiving because of a serious back injury (Where she herniated and slipped some discs) and won't be in until at least next week, Honeybunches has been doing awesome. Of course there has been a bit of testing, but nothing major. At home things have been going well with him too. The worst thing that happened is that he snooped at what I bought him for Christmas, but that's a typical childhood thing. This generation has it easier. Here is how it works:
My little man, at 10 years old, still believes in Santa. I say let him believe as long as he wants to. I love the Christmas season and Christmas music. This is my favorite month of the year.
I had Honeybunches parent-teacher conference over the phone yesterday. His teacher is so impressed with all the progress he's making. She talked more about his transition to the new school next year. She thinks we should arrange for him to go to the new school about 4-5x before the end of this school year. She said maybe beginning in April or May we'll bring him there for about an hour or so a few different times so he can sit in on what will be his new class, meet his teacher, see the school, etc.
Honeybunches has been a loving boy with lots of hugs lately. The past few weeks have been smooth with him. (Knock on wood!)
- Wait for Mommy to get in her morning bath.
- When Daddy goes into the room rush to the computer.
- Check what is in Mommy's Ebay Purchase History.
- When you hear Mommy coming, close the windows real quick, tell her "I was not doing anything... I didn't see anything, only the thing I ordered."
My little man, at 10 years old, still believes in Santa. I say let him believe as long as he wants to. I love the Christmas season and Christmas music. This is my favorite month of the year.
I had Honeybunches parent-teacher conference over the phone yesterday. His teacher is so impressed with all the progress he's making. She talked more about his transition to the new school next year. She thinks we should arrange for him to go to the new school about 4-5x before the end of this school year. She said maybe beginning in April or May we'll bring him there for about an hour or so a few different times so he can sit in on what will be his new class, meet his teacher, see the school, etc.
Honeybunches has been a loving boy with lots of hugs lately. The past few weeks have been smooth with him. (Knock on wood!)
Monday, November 19, 2012
A Vegan Thanksgiving
Here is what is on my Vegan Thanksgiving menu:
Tofurkey
Stuffing (A bag of herbed stuffing prepared with chopped peppers, onion and celery along with vegetable broth and a bit of water.)
Mashed potatoes and gravy (I mash potatoes with a vegan margarine and some Adobo. Then I use this vegan brown gravy
Vegan potato salad (Made with potatoes, Vegenaise, Celery Salt, pepper, a dash of Italian dressing, onion, and of course pickles lol.)
Vegan baked mac & cheese (Mix flour, 1 packet of Goya Sazon, a block of melted Daiya Cheddar Wedge and a bag of Galaxy Mozzarella Soy Shreds. Bake at 350 until cheese is all melted and it's a bit crusty on top.)
Collard Greens (Boiled with olive oil, Goya Adobo, vinegar and 1/2 onion)
Corn made easy (A couple cans of corn, topped with salt, pepper and Earth's Balance Buttery Spread thrown in the microwave for about 3 minutes)
Biscuits (I found these at the local grocery store and they were accidentally Vegan)
Pies! (Sweet potato, pumpkin, peach and banana pudding) {For the peach pie, I am using peaches that my mother has frozen from my father's peach tree. I'll just be using this recipe for crust and putting just a touch of raw sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg on top. I like the fruit pies to taste fruity and not sugary.} {For the banana pudding pie, I plan on using a graham cracker crust I found that is accidentally Vegan. I'll prepare the banana pudding as directed using almond milk instead of regular milk. Then I'll put a layer of sliced bananas on the crust, a layer of pudding and more bananas on top.}
So that's what our big dinner will look like. I actually have to cook more than that because I have to add in a turkey for the meat eaters, regular baked mac & cheese and regular potato salad with eggs and real mayo. My son and I are the only Vegans in the family. We also have to feed DH, the girls, my mother and brother. One of my sisters will be coming later in the day for desert. I like to make enough on Thanksgiving so I don't have to cook again for a few days. Well... at least not make anything major. I plan on having plain leftovers on Friday. Then we'll make things like tofurkey (And turkey for the meat eaters) pot pie, stir fry, chilli, empanadas, tacos, etc. This is the 3rd Vegan Thanksgiving, but my 1st one trying a Tofurkey. In previous years my son and I just ate the sides. I'm curious how it will come out, if it will pass his smell test and if he'll like it. I think I will because I love Tofurkey slices that are used to make sandwiches. I have read the key is to slice the Tofurkey thin. We shall see lol...
Tofurkey
Stuffing (A bag of herbed stuffing prepared with chopped peppers, onion and celery along with vegetable broth and a bit of water.)
Mashed potatoes and gravy (I mash potatoes with a vegan margarine and some Adobo. Then I use this vegan brown gravy
Vegan potato salad (Made with potatoes, Vegenaise, Celery Salt, pepper, a dash of Italian dressing, onion, and of course pickles lol.)
Vegan baked mac & cheese (Mix flour, 1 packet of Goya Sazon, a block of melted Daiya Cheddar Wedge and a bag of Galaxy Mozzarella Soy Shreds. Bake at 350 until cheese is all melted and it's a bit crusty on top.)
Collard Greens (Boiled with olive oil, Goya Adobo, vinegar and 1/2 onion)
Corn made easy (A couple cans of corn, topped with salt, pepper and Earth's Balance Buttery Spread thrown in the microwave for about 3 minutes)
Biscuits (I found these at the local grocery store and they were accidentally Vegan)
Pies! (Sweet potato, pumpkin, peach and banana pudding) {For the peach pie, I am using peaches that my mother has frozen from my father's peach tree. I'll just be using this recipe for crust and putting just a touch of raw sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg on top. I like the fruit pies to taste fruity and not sugary.} {For the banana pudding pie, I plan on using a graham cracker crust I found that is accidentally Vegan. I'll prepare the banana pudding as directed using almond milk instead of regular milk. Then I'll put a layer of sliced bananas on the crust, a layer of pudding and more bananas on top.}
So that's what our big dinner will look like. I actually have to cook more than that because I have to add in a turkey for the meat eaters, regular baked mac & cheese and regular potato salad with eggs and real mayo. My son and I are the only Vegans in the family. We also have to feed DH, the girls, my mother and brother. One of my sisters will be coming later in the day for desert. I like to make enough on Thanksgiving so I don't have to cook again for a few days. Well... at least not make anything major. I plan on having plain leftovers on Friday. Then we'll make things like tofurkey (And turkey for the meat eaters) pot pie, stir fry, chilli, empanadas, tacos, etc. This is the 3rd Vegan Thanksgiving, but my 1st one trying a Tofurkey. In previous years my son and I just ate the sides. I'm curious how it will come out, if it will pass his smell test and if he'll like it. I think I will because I love Tofurkey slices that are used to make sandwiches. I have read the key is to slice the Tofurkey thin. We shall see lol...
Extra Time and Jealousy...
So over the weekend I heard from Honeybunches teacher. She sent me an
email saying that she spoke with his old teacher (Who works in the
behavior room) for an hour after school on Friday discussing
Honeybunches. They looked at a copy of his Safety Plan and are going to
sit down together with the school psychologist and counselor "To tweak
it so that something like what happened on Thursday will not happen
again." I am thankful that they took the time to do that. They could have easily said "The day is done... We are leaving."
Honeybunches weekend went mostly well, until yesterday evening. We had dinner with my mother and brother. He made me giggle a bit. I was downstairs visiting with my mother for a while after we ate. He told me that I had 5 more minutes then I needed to go upstairs. He called down for me even, saying that he gave me 5 extra minutes. I guess he thinks I belong upstairs in our apartment lol. After dinner and visiting I played Yatzee with Princess. She needed Mommy time too. That went okay. A couple hours later I went into the bedroom to watch television with DH for a few minutes. (He has not been feeling too well... has a really bad cold or flu.) Honeybunches came in to ask what I was doing. I said that I was just watching television for a couple minutes with Daddy. About not even 5 minutes later Princess comes into the room telling us that Honeybunches hit her on the head with a dog toy. We told him to go to his room. Then another minute later she comes back screaming. Honeybunches hit her on the head with a metal can of computer cleaning spray. We put him back in his room. I comforted her giving her ice for it. She held that on for a while. I was wondering all night what caused him to get aggressive with her. I could not find a reason and that was really bothering me. He has not had unprovoked aggression since before he went to the phosp in 2009. I knew there just had to be a reason. This morning I was mentioning to DH how I was wondering what caused Honeybunches to do what he did. DH said something that made me realize that Honeybunches was jealous about Princess getting time. That's probably why he did that to her. I plan on playing a game with him after school today. He gets so much of our time for so many reasons. Princess needed some too, but when he gets like that it causes it to be harder to give it to her. We will go back to being 1:1 with him again for a while. I don't plan on going into the room for a breather anymore while he's awake. Tomorrow is Honeybunches last appointment with his counselor. I am sure that is affecting him emotionally too.
Honeybunches weekend went mostly well, until yesterday evening. We had dinner with my mother and brother. He made me giggle a bit. I was downstairs visiting with my mother for a while after we ate. He told me that I had 5 more minutes then I needed to go upstairs. He called down for me even, saying that he gave me 5 extra minutes. I guess he thinks I belong upstairs in our apartment lol. After dinner and visiting I played Yatzee with Princess. She needed Mommy time too. That went okay. A couple hours later I went into the bedroom to watch television with DH for a few minutes. (He has not been feeling too well... has a really bad cold or flu.) Honeybunches came in to ask what I was doing. I said that I was just watching television for a couple minutes with Daddy. About not even 5 minutes later Princess comes into the room telling us that Honeybunches hit her on the head with a dog toy. We told him to go to his room. Then another minute later she comes back screaming. Honeybunches hit her on the head with a metal can of computer cleaning spray. We put him back in his room. I comforted her giving her ice for it. She held that on for a while. I was wondering all night what caused him to get aggressive with her. I could not find a reason and that was really bothering me. He has not had unprovoked aggression since before he went to the phosp in 2009. I knew there just had to be a reason. This morning I was mentioning to DH how I was wondering what caused Honeybunches to do what he did. DH said something that made me realize that Honeybunches was jealous about Princess getting time. That's probably why he did that to her. I plan on playing a game with him after school today. He gets so much of our time for so many reasons. Princess needed some too, but when he gets like that it causes it to be harder to give it to her. We will go back to being 1:1 with him again for a while. I don't plan on going into the room for a breather anymore while he's awake. Tomorrow is Honeybunches last appointment with his counselor. I am sure that is affecting him emotionally too.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Complaint # 1 Of This Year....
On Wednesday there was an issue at school that concerned me. Honeybunches new aide wrote in his book how he got a "... check for PE for knocking over stacking cups and refusing to pick them up. Good recess but had a hard time after word of the day when he got only 1 extra word of the day instead of a whole page. I told him he could earn one but continued to disrupt. Kids left for library. "Honeybunches" and two of us stayed behind with him. Tried talking for a few minutes. After thinking Officer S (School Resource Officer) may stop by he settled right down and went on with his day..."
I asked what made him think Officer S might stop by. She stated:
"He was having a minor meltdown and it was escalating so another teacher made a pretend phone call to Officer S and he stopped shoving his desk immediately..."
Believe me I wrote to his teacher about this one!!! I sent her an email and a letter in his bag this morning. I figured I'd give her the benefit of the doubt because she was not there. She's been so wonderful with Honeybunches that I didn't feel it would be right to just step over her head. So I sent the letter which stated word for word what was written in his book plus...
"Neither my husband nor I approve of calling or pretending to call Officer S on "Honeybunches" as a means of getting him to cooperate or behave. I believe the people working with him should find more effective ways to discipline him. Things should remain consistent between staff. I don't believe that threatening him will work effectively if continued nor do I approve of it. One of these times he might ask them to make Officer S come. Then how will they deal with it? One day he might decide he wants to see the police to check out their handcuffs or gear. Besides being inappropriate for many reasons, I feel that might shatter his dream. He often plays police and I don't want him to have a negative image of them or see them as threatening. Part of the reason I don't approve of this is because police often don't know how to handle children with mental health diagnoses or other special needs like Autism. I don't want him seen as a "Bad kid" which is how the police might view him without knowing more about his diagnoses. I do not believe that empty threats are appropriate or threats in general. I don't agree with getting the police involved with him, especially because of his age. While I understand how things can be in the heat of the moment, it sounds like staff working with Honeybunches need a better, more appropriate plan in place. Also, I believe that pretending to call the police will never get to the root of what caused the behavioral issue in the beginning. While it may stop behavior immediately in it's tracks, It will do nothing to prevent future episodes and may cause him to shut down." I trust that you will resolve this issue before I feel the need to contact (Sped director) and (Superintendent) to write a complaint. I haven't had any issues in the way you have dealt with "Honeybunches". In fact, you have been one of the people I trust most with him. I have no concerns when he is with you. Please talk to the other staff who work with him on days and times you are not there about better ways to deal with him. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Also I would like to see his updated Safety Plan if it is completed. I am wondering if a Behavioral Intervention Plan would be appropriate for times when you are not there so that there could be more consistency in how he is dealt with? What are your thoughts on that? I just believe things need to be dealt with in a more appropriate manner."
Today I went to the PAC meeting at the school. There was a great turn out. Besides me, there were 3 other parents! That was a big crowd lol. In the past sometimes it was only me, the lady who runs them and the SPED director. It was great to have company.
Anyways, when I was on the way there DH called to tell me the school psychologist called me about the letter I wrote to Mrs Understanding. After the meeting I decided to stop by Honeybunches' school to see if the school psych was available. She was so I went into her office for about 20 minutes. She told me that she didn't approve of how the situation was handled the other day. She reassured me it will not happen again. Mrs Understanding came in for about half of the time I was there. We sat down together and discussed things including why it was wrong, my concerns and what they plan on doing about it. The aide was already spoken to about how it was not okay to deal with him the way she did. I voiced my concerns about how although the new aide is restraint trained, I don't believe she is comfortable doing it or comfortable dealing with him when things get heated. I suggested that she call for help from the school psychologist, a certain male aide who knows Honeybunches, his old behavioral room teacher, or the school principal for help and suggestions when needed. They reassured me that they are coming up with an updated Safety Plan and Behavioral Intervention Plan which I'll get copies of when they are ready. The new aide is also going to go to a 38 hour whole week session on Restraint Training and De-Escalation in January. She recently completed a couple hour course, but the one the Superintendent is sending her to is more intense. Hopefully that will make her more comfortable. Anyways, I feel better since we had that meeting. I still am not too sure if this new aide is a good fit for Honeybunches. She does do some things which he loves like making tons of crafts. IDK if I have faith that she'll be able to handle him next year on her own at a new school where nobody knows him. That might not be a good situation. I guess we'll see how the rest of this year goes. They found a new reward for Honeybunches at the end of the day. Yesterday they gave him a special job of helping the janitor with the garbage. He loves helping with that lol. It's also "Heavy Work" which is part of his Sensory Diet and calming for him. That was a hit and something they plan on using as part of his reward system. Speaking of his reward system at school, that's complicated too. He's very reward driven, but things have to be changed up every so often because they lose effectiveness. New rewards that he's interested in help. Finding things he's interested in is not always easy.
I asked what made him think Officer S might stop by. She stated:
"He was having a minor meltdown and it was escalating so another teacher made a pretend phone call to Officer S and he stopped shoving his desk immediately..."
Believe me I wrote to his teacher about this one!!! I sent her an email and a letter in his bag this morning. I figured I'd give her the benefit of the doubt because she was not there. She's been so wonderful with Honeybunches that I didn't feel it would be right to just step over her head. So I sent the letter which stated word for word what was written in his book plus...
"Neither my husband nor I approve of calling or pretending to call Officer S on "Honeybunches" as a means of getting him to cooperate or behave. I believe the people working with him should find more effective ways to discipline him. Things should remain consistent between staff. I don't believe that threatening him will work effectively if continued nor do I approve of it. One of these times he might ask them to make Officer S come. Then how will they deal with it? One day he might decide he wants to see the police to check out their handcuffs or gear. Besides being inappropriate for many reasons, I feel that might shatter his dream. He often plays police and I don't want him to have a negative image of them or see them as threatening. Part of the reason I don't approve of this is because police often don't know how to handle children with mental health diagnoses or other special needs like Autism. I don't want him seen as a "Bad kid" which is how the police might view him without knowing more about his diagnoses. I do not believe that empty threats are appropriate or threats in general. I don't agree with getting the police involved with him, especially because of his age. While I understand how things can be in the heat of the moment, it sounds like staff working with Honeybunches need a better, more appropriate plan in place. Also, I believe that pretending to call the police will never get to the root of what caused the behavioral issue in the beginning. While it may stop behavior immediately in it's tracks, It will do nothing to prevent future episodes and may cause him to shut down." I trust that you will resolve this issue before I feel the need to contact (Sped director) and (Superintendent) to write a complaint. I haven't had any issues in the way you have dealt with "Honeybunches". In fact, you have been one of the people I trust most with him. I have no concerns when he is with you. Please talk to the other staff who work with him on days and times you are not there about better ways to deal with him. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Also I would like to see his updated Safety Plan if it is completed. I am wondering if a Behavioral Intervention Plan would be appropriate for times when you are not there so that there could be more consistency in how he is dealt with? What are your thoughts on that? I just believe things need to be dealt with in a more appropriate manner."
Today I went to the PAC meeting at the school. There was a great turn out. Besides me, there were 3 other parents! That was a big crowd lol. In the past sometimes it was only me, the lady who runs them and the SPED director. It was great to have company.
Anyways, when I was on the way there DH called to tell me the school psychologist called me about the letter I wrote to Mrs Understanding. After the meeting I decided to stop by Honeybunches' school to see if the school psych was available. She was so I went into her office for about 20 minutes. She told me that she didn't approve of how the situation was handled the other day. She reassured me it will not happen again. Mrs Understanding came in for about half of the time I was there. We sat down together and discussed things including why it was wrong, my concerns and what they plan on doing about it. The aide was already spoken to about how it was not okay to deal with him the way she did. I voiced my concerns about how although the new aide is restraint trained, I don't believe she is comfortable doing it or comfortable dealing with him when things get heated. I suggested that she call for help from the school psychologist, a certain male aide who knows Honeybunches, his old behavioral room teacher, or the school principal for help and suggestions when needed. They reassured me that they are coming up with an updated Safety Plan and Behavioral Intervention Plan which I'll get copies of when they are ready. The new aide is also going to go to a 38 hour whole week session on Restraint Training and De-Escalation in January. She recently completed a couple hour course, but the one the Superintendent is sending her to is more intense. Hopefully that will make her more comfortable. Anyways, I feel better since we had that meeting. I still am not too sure if this new aide is a good fit for Honeybunches. She does do some things which he loves like making tons of crafts. IDK if I have faith that she'll be able to handle him next year on her own at a new school where nobody knows him. That might not be a good situation. I guess we'll see how the rest of this year goes. They found a new reward for Honeybunches at the end of the day. Yesterday they gave him a special job of helping the janitor with the garbage. He loves helping with that lol. It's also "Heavy Work" which is part of his Sensory Diet and calming for him. That was a hit and something they plan on using as part of his reward system. Speaking of his reward system at school, that's complicated too. He's very reward driven, but things have to be changed up every so often because they lose effectiveness. New rewards that he's interested in help. Finding things he's interested in is not always easy.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Concerns about Shnooks and What I Learned
Shnooks turned 18 in March. You can read about his history here . He's reconnected with his birth mother, his half brother and maternal Gramma since last year. Actually DCF helped him reconnect, which is something I'll never understand. Especially after how we got custody from them because his half brother sexually abused him and with the stories he made clear of his Gramma's abuse. It's obvious they brainwashed him some more. His mother's family has him thinking they sent him a bunch of money that we never gave him, which never happened. They did send him $20 a couple times per year if that much and that often. We used the $$ to buy him things he needed at the time instead of giving him the cash to waste on his drug habits. He said that he has receipts for the money that never came. He said DCF helped him track down money orders and they were all cashed. That's a bunch of BS.
Anyways, on Monday I read this on his Facebook page:
"IM ABOUT TO BLOW UP DONT LET ME FIND YOU DAD PRAY I DONT FIND YOU CAUSE I WILL END YOU U WILL FEEL MY PAIN IM GANA FIND YOU DAD AND U WILL PAY FOR WAT U DID"
(He knows where we are so IDK what he meant by that... don't let him find him alone maybe? IDK...)
and his next status was:
"i guess im feeling better naa not realy i want blood and revenge and i will get it"
Those are copy and pasted so you can see how he wrote them. Yup, the 1st one was obviously yelling on Facebook.
Shnooks sent me a message on Saturday, that I didn't find until Wednesday. It also was concerning, full of swears, a pic of his mother with him saying that's his mother and I never was, and contained this song...
It's a nasty song that talks about how "Mankind lies in Blood", cracking heads, getting "Stuck up in the gutter with ya neck and your body ready to share that blood", "I want your blood", raising an axe "Throwing it while you are running away and when it hits your brain will splat", "Rape wives and laugh at husbands", "Being shot with darts til it stops your heart and chopped apart and thrown up in a shopping cart", "Pushed off a cliff", "You're gonna suffer the consiquence", "Hit em in the spine until you paralyze him and fill him with lighter fluid and go ahead and spark him up", "Hit your cranium with the back of a hammer".... Yup very concerning.
Thursday morning, I went to the police station to report what he did on Facebook. I have printed out everything and showed the officer. I learned that you can threaten to kill somebody all you want on Facebook. You can even give all the gory details of how you are going to do it. As long as the person doesn't threaten you three times and you report all three. Then it's only harassment. Got to love this state!!!! We can't spank our children, but you can threaten to kill somebody online as long as you don't do it three times. I really do love some things about here, but others I really hate. There are so many loopholes in our laws. Oh well, at least it's documented in case Shnooks does come around here to start some mess and DH has to protect us.
DH is not doing too good with all this. I feel it is causing him to become unstable again, at least a little bit. He's been isolating and is grouchy. That's not a good sign.
Anyways, on Monday I read this on his Facebook page:
"IM ABOUT TO BLOW UP DONT LET ME FIND YOU DAD PRAY I DONT FIND YOU CAUSE I WILL END YOU U WILL FEEL MY PAIN IM GANA FIND YOU DAD AND U WILL PAY FOR WAT U DID"
(He knows where we are so IDK what he meant by that... don't let him find him alone maybe? IDK...)
and his next status was:
"i guess im feeling better naa not realy i want blood and revenge and i will get it"
Those are copy and pasted so you can see how he wrote them. Yup, the 1st one was obviously yelling on Facebook.
Shnooks sent me a message on Saturday, that I didn't find until Wednesday. It also was concerning, full of swears, a pic of his mother with him saying that's his mother and I never was, and contained this song...
It's a nasty song that talks about how "Mankind lies in Blood", cracking heads, getting "Stuck up in the gutter with ya neck and your body ready to share that blood", "I want your blood", raising an axe "Throwing it while you are running away and when it hits your brain will splat", "Rape wives and laugh at husbands", "Being shot with darts til it stops your heart and chopped apart and thrown up in a shopping cart", "Pushed off a cliff", "You're gonna suffer the consiquence", "Hit em in the spine until you paralyze him and fill him with lighter fluid and go ahead and spark him up", "Hit your cranium with the back of a hammer".... Yup very concerning.
Thursday morning, I went to the police station to report what he did on Facebook. I have printed out everything and showed the officer. I learned that you can threaten to kill somebody all you want on Facebook. You can even give all the gory details of how you are going to do it. As long as the person doesn't threaten you three times and you report all three. Then it's only harassment. Got to love this state!!!! We can't spank our children, but you can threaten to kill somebody online as long as you don't do it three times. I really do love some things about here, but others I really hate. There are so many loopholes in our laws. Oh well, at least it's documented in case Shnooks does come around here to start some mess and DH has to protect us.
DH is not doing too good with all this. I feel it is causing him to become unstable again, at least a little bit. He's been isolating and is grouchy. That's not a good sign.
IEP Classifications and the Word "Maybe"
My state's SPED Regulations state:
Disability shall mean one or more of the following impairments:
Intellectual Impairment - The permanent capacity for performing cognitive tasks, functions, or problem solving is significantly limited or impaired and is exhibited by more than one of the following: a slower rate of learning; disorganized patterns of learning; difficulty with adaptive behavior; and/or difficulty understanding abstract concepts. Such term shall include students with mental retardation.
Emotional Impairment - As defined under federal law at 34 CFR §300.8(c)(4), the student exhibits one or more of the following characteristics over a long period of time and to a marked degree that adversely affects educational performance: an inability to learn that cannot be explained by intellectual, sensory, or health factors; an inability to build or maintain satisfactory interpersonal relationships with peers and teachers; inappropriate types of behavior or feelings under normal circumstances; a general pervasive mood of unhappiness or depression; or a tendency to develop physical symptoms or fears associated with personal or school problems. The determination of disability shall not be made solely because the student's behavior violates the school's discipline code, because the student is involved with a state court or social service agency, or because the student is socially maladjusted, unless the Team determines that the student has a serious emotional disturbance.
Honeybunches has met those IEP classifications for IDK how many years now. When I was looking over his most current IEP that came in the mail yesterday, the words "Intellectual Disability" stood out to me. IDK why, but my eyes could not come off them and those words won't leave my brain now.
His IEP was very well written. I was impressed actually, that I don't have anything for them to change. They included everything I wanted them to, including a quote about how they will try to maintain consistency with his aide as he transfers to the new school next year, how he'll ride the bus next year and how Summer Tutoring will be provided. The objectives they wrote are very measurable. He is delayed in most areas, but made "Remarkable progress" over the past year in all areas. His FSIQ is "Borderline" (73). Although "He's made tremendous gains in the classroom" he is still delayed. For example, he is reading at a 2nd grade level.
Although I am nervous about how the DSM-5 changes will affect him based on his Autism and Bipolar, I found this about Intellectual Development Disorder which IDK how I feel about. It's not based on an IQ anymore it seems, or at least has a 5 point + or - leeway from what I am reading.
DH and I were mentioning to each other a couple days ago, how as he's getting older his delays are becoming more noticeable (Especially his social ones).
The word "Maybe" has been causing a ton of issues in my house lately with Honeybunches. The other day DH told him "Maybe" they'd go to the railroad tracks after school. Then they didn't go. He became very upset and told his teacher he was mad at Daddy for lying to him. Yesterday my brother told him "Maybe" this morning they'd go to yard sales. Today came and they didn't go. Honeybunches was heartbroken about that. His brain doesn't seem to understand "Maybe".
This time change has tricked his belly still. I wonder if that will ever get on schedule again. By 3:30 he acts like he's a starving child who will never eat again. Dinner is at 4 pm. Today I let him eat at 3:50 because he was getting irritable about being hungry.
We went to do a couple errands tonight. DH, Princess, Honeybunches and I went to the grocery store 1st. He did awesome in there. Then we went to the pharmacy while DH put the groceries in the car and waited there for us. Honeybunches was okay in there. He wanted a toy that costed more money then he had. I could not afford it so he was okay. We looked around their little dollar section. He didn't see anything so asked to go look in Family Dollar real quick. This dollar store does NOT have everything for a dollar as some do. He was looking around for about 5 minutes. Then he decided he wanted something for $5 when all he had was $1.50. Because we had to spend $720 to get our vehicle's exhaust, muffler and gas lines fixed along with getting it inspected this month I literally don't have more than $25 to my name right now. I couldn't spend it. He got frustrated. He said "Sometimes you let me". I tried explaining that I didn't have it. He just didn't seem to understand. He said "Fine I'll go home and go Hmmmt then and put my head under my pillow". I said "Okay let's go home and go Hmmt. Come on. We are leaving." I escorted him as I walked behind him with my hands on the edge of his shoulders in case he decided he wanted to see the items on the shelves go fly as he does sometimes when he is frustrated. He asked me to let him go, but I thought it would be best to get him out of the store 1st. I said "I will". Being proactive worked. He was going "Hmmmt" all the way through the store until we got to the front. There were about 5+ people at the check out who all seemed to be staring at us. I just focused on Honeybunches and escorted him out the front door. Once outside I let his arms go. He kept on with his "Hmmmt" until we got close to the car but things didn't progress any further. He did a great job turning that one around, because once in the car he was fine. When we got home he was fine too, until bath time which he gave a little fuss about but did comply with. Well sort of. He didn't want to at first and actually was falling asleep in bed while fussing about how he didn't want one tonight. DH verbally cued him to get in. He fussed but complied. Honeybunches listens to him better. I think it's the tone of his voice. He needed assistance because he was so sleepy. The hesitation with bath-time seems to happen about 75% of the time lately.
Disability shall mean one or more of the following impairments:
Intellectual Impairment - The permanent capacity for performing cognitive tasks, functions, or problem solving is significantly limited or impaired and is exhibited by more than one of the following: a slower rate of learning; disorganized patterns of learning; difficulty with adaptive behavior; and/or difficulty understanding abstract concepts. Such term shall include students with mental retardation.
Emotional Impairment - As defined under federal law at 34 CFR §300.8(c)(4), the student exhibits one or more of the following characteristics over a long period of time and to a marked degree that adversely affects educational performance: an inability to learn that cannot be explained by intellectual, sensory, or health factors; an inability to build or maintain satisfactory interpersonal relationships with peers and teachers; inappropriate types of behavior or feelings under normal circumstances; a general pervasive mood of unhappiness or depression; or a tendency to develop physical symptoms or fears associated with personal or school problems. The determination of disability shall not be made solely because the student's behavior violates the school's discipline code, because the student is involved with a state court or social service agency, or because the student is socially maladjusted, unless the Team determines that the student has a serious emotional disturbance.
Honeybunches has met those IEP classifications for IDK how many years now. When I was looking over his most current IEP that came in the mail yesterday, the words "Intellectual Disability" stood out to me. IDK why, but my eyes could not come off them and those words won't leave my brain now.
His IEP was very well written. I was impressed actually, that I don't have anything for them to change. They included everything I wanted them to, including a quote about how they will try to maintain consistency with his aide as he transfers to the new school next year, how he'll ride the bus next year and how Summer Tutoring will be provided. The objectives they wrote are very measurable. He is delayed in most areas, but made "Remarkable progress" over the past year in all areas. His FSIQ is "Borderline" (73). Although "He's made tremendous gains in the classroom" he is still delayed. For example, he is reading at a 2nd grade level.
Although I am nervous about how the DSM-5 changes will affect him based on his Autism and Bipolar, I found this about Intellectual Development Disorder which IDK how I feel about. It's not based on an IQ anymore it seems, or at least has a 5 point + or - leeway from what I am reading.
DH and I were mentioning to each other a couple days ago, how as he's getting older his delays are becoming more noticeable (Especially his social ones).
The word "Maybe" has been causing a ton of issues in my house lately with Honeybunches. The other day DH told him "Maybe" they'd go to the railroad tracks after school. Then they didn't go. He became very upset and told his teacher he was mad at Daddy for lying to him. Yesterday my brother told him "Maybe" this morning they'd go to yard sales. Today came and they didn't go. Honeybunches was heartbroken about that. His brain doesn't seem to understand "Maybe".
This time change has tricked his belly still. I wonder if that will ever get on schedule again. By 3:30 he acts like he's a starving child who will never eat again. Dinner is at 4 pm. Today I let him eat at 3:50 because he was getting irritable about being hungry.
We went to do a couple errands tonight. DH, Princess, Honeybunches and I went to the grocery store 1st. He did awesome in there. Then we went to the pharmacy while DH put the groceries in the car and waited there for us. Honeybunches was okay in there. He wanted a toy that costed more money then he had. I could not afford it so he was okay. We looked around their little dollar section. He didn't see anything so asked to go look in Family Dollar real quick. This dollar store does NOT have everything for a dollar as some do. He was looking around for about 5 minutes. Then he decided he wanted something for $5 when all he had was $1.50. Because we had to spend $720 to get our vehicle's exhaust, muffler and gas lines fixed along with getting it inspected this month I literally don't have more than $25 to my name right now. I couldn't spend it. He got frustrated. He said "Sometimes you let me". I tried explaining that I didn't have it. He just didn't seem to understand. He said "Fine I'll go home and go Hmmmt then and put my head under my pillow". I said "Okay let's go home and go Hmmt. Come on. We are leaving." I escorted him as I walked behind him with my hands on the edge of his shoulders in case he decided he wanted to see the items on the shelves go fly as he does sometimes when he is frustrated. He asked me to let him go, but I thought it would be best to get him out of the store 1st. I said "I will". Being proactive worked. He was going "Hmmmt" all the way through the store until we got to the front. There were about 5+ people at the check out who all seemed to be staring at us. I just focused on Honeybunches and escorted him out the front door. Once outside I let his arms go. He kept on with his "Hmmmt" until we got close to the car but things didn't progress any further. He did a great job turning that one around, because once in the car he was fine. When we got home he was fine too, until bath time which he gave a little fuss about but did comply with. Well sort of. He didn't want to at first and actually was falling asleep in bed while fussing about how he didn't want one tonight. DH verbally cued him to get in. He fussed but complied. Honeybunches listens to him better. I think it's the tone of his voice. He needed assistance because he was so sleepy. The hesitation with bath-time seems to happen about 75% of the time lately.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Vegan Stuffed Peppers
VEGAN STUFFED PEPPERS:
Today I made Stuffed Peppers for the meat-eaters in the family. Along with that, I decided to make myself a couple Vegan Stuffed Peppers. Theirs was made with ground beef, onions and rice mix while mine was made with a rice, bean, celery, onion, and crushed red pepper mixture.
To begin, I cooked a pot of Jasmine rice. In planning to feed all 6 of us (DH, Myself, our three children plus one friend that always eats with us) I made 4 cups of Jasmine rice mixed with 4 1/4 cups of water, 2 packages of the orange "Sazon con Culantro Y Achiote" (Coriandor and Annato), a good shake of Adobo which was probably 1 tablespoon, a dash of Cumin and a dash of Tumeric. I ended up with a lot more rice. I found the rice at Ocean State Job Lot. The bag said 3 cups of rice would make 4 servings. This made a ton of rice, which is okay because we'll have leftover rice mixture for another meal creation. When the rice was done cooking, I separated it to make theirs and mine.
To make mine I mixed in 1 can of Goya Black Beans which I drained, 1/2 large onion cut up, 1 celery stalk chopped finely, 1/4 can pureed tomatoes, 1/3 can spaghetti sauce, chilli powder, and about 2 tbsp of the jarred diced hot chilli peppers. I mixed that all up well and stuffed the peppers. I cooked on 350 degrees for 1 hour. Here is how they came out:
The lighting in the room was not good because the sun has set and there is a storm coming. I hope the next pictures I take come out better. That was my 1st attempt at taking pics of food lol. They were yummy. I loved it. Honeybunches had the Spanish rice that was what the base of the peppers was, along with some Morningstar Farms Corn Dogs. (He's on a mostly Vegan, but Vegetarian diet. For example, I don't give him milk, eggs, or meat products but do allow him to eat limited products such as Morningstar Farms brand food which he loves and Ranch Dip that are not technically Vegan.)
Today I made Stuffed Peppers for the meat-eaters in the family. Along with that, I decided to make myself a couple Vegan Stuffed Peppers. Theirs was made with ground beef, onions and rice mix while mine was made with a rice, bean, celery, onion, and crushed red pepper mixture.
To begin, I cooked a pot of Jasmine rice. In planning to feed all 6 of us (DH, Myself, our three children plus one friend that always eats with us) I made 4 cups of Jasmine rice mixed with 4 1/4 cups of water, 2 packages of the orange "Sazon con Culantro Y Achiote" (Coriandor and Annato), a good shake of Adobo which was probably 1 tablespoon, a dash of Cumin and a dash of Tumeric. I ended up with a lot more rice. I found the rice at Ocean State Job Lot. The bag said 3 cups of rice would make 4 servings. This made a ton of rice, which is okay because we'll have leftover rice mixture for another meal creation. When the rice was done cooking, I separated it to make theirs and mine.
To make mine I mixed in 1 can of Goya Black Beans which I drained, 1/2 large onion cut up, 1 celery stalk chopped finely, 1/4 can pureed tomatoes, 1/3 can spaghetti sauce, chilli powder, and about 2 tbsp of the jarred diced hot chilli peppers. I mixed that all up well and stuffed the peppers. I cooked on 350 degrees for 1 hour. Here is how they came out:
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
More Changes...
Yesterday Honeybunches had an appointment with his Developmental Behavioral Pediatrician in Boston. That is a 2+ hour ride from where we live. He had great behavioral all the way there, while waiting for his appointment, during his appointment and on the way home. He actually slept about 1 hour on the way there and a little more than half way home. That made the ride more pleasant lol. Yes, he slept well last night too.
The Developmental Behavioral Pedi was concerned with his weight. According to her scale he's 119. For that, she suggested I consider talking with his pdoc about lowering his Abilify which she believes to be the cause. I don't believe now is the correct time to make med changes, with all the other changes happening in his life.
I asked her if she thought he'd still meet the criteria for Autism when the DSM-5 comes out. She said it's usually the parents of children who are really high functioning that are concerned. In other words, it sounded to me like in her opinion he is not and I should have nothing to worry about. That was bitter sweet news. My brain was thinking, I'm glad I don't have to worry, but it made it clear she doesn't consider him high functioning. He's not low functioning IMO either, so he must be in the middle? For some reason my silly brain was thinking he was high functioning. I guess because I don't have any examples. He's the only child I know, whom I know has Autism, so I have nobody to compare him too. I used to work with one child long ago, but it was obvious he had Autism. He was nonverbal. Honeybunches can talk, so I thought that made him high I guess. Another part of me realizes he has his delays and struggles. I guess it was just hearing her opinion of him not being high that was a bit heartbreaking, although part of me knew it. To hear the words spoken just made it all so more real. I think as he gets older his delays, especially his social ones, are becoming more prevalent.
More changes are coming for Honeybunches. He's been seeing the same counselor whom I will call L since he was 4 years old. He's 10 now, so it's been 6+ years that he's seen her. She told us at his appointment tonight that she is finally retiring. She's 67 years old. His next visit in two weeks with her will be the last. He wrote on her white board "I feel sad" and drew a sad face. He had some of her stuffed animals say they will miss her. She gave him two beanie babies today and said he can have the rest of her stash of them at his next visit. I asked if I had to do another intake to get him a new counselor. She told me "No". She's writing up a bio about him and will find who she thinks will be the best fit for him in the office. It's a large agency with many counselors. She did have one 20-something year old man in mind. She introduced Honeybunches to him. Honeybunches made me so proud. He initiated a handshake while he said "Hi. My name is ____. Nice to meet you." That was the first time I've seen him introduce himself so professionally. He sure is growing up!!!! I told the counselor that Honeybunches will need somebody who is determined and will stick around for a bit. She said she'll talk to this man to see if he is taking new patients and to see if he would be a good fit for Honeybunches as she thinks he will. We'll know more at his next visit in two weeks.
With losing his aide at the beginning of the month and now losing his counselor whom he's seen for so long I wonder how stable he'll remain. It is all a lot for him to deal with.
Honeybunches has been a bit irritable since the time change. His new aide underwent restraint training late last week. I think Honeybunches must have been surprised when she restrained him yesterday. IDK the whole details of what happened. All I know is that he was really testy. They tried ignoring his behavior at 1st, then things escalated. He was escorted to the time out space. He was restrained for a few seconds and then began to cry. He said he was mad at Daddy for not taking him to the railroad tracks. IDK what that was all about. DH said he told Honeybunches "Maybe" they'd go to the tracks. Honeybunches never understands maybe. In his brain either things are or they are not. Today he had a better day at school.
The Developmental Behavioral Pedi was concerned with his weight. According to her scale he's 119. For that, she suggested I consider talking with his pdoc about lowering his Abilify which she believes to be the cause. I don't believe now is the correct time to make med changes, with all the other changes happening in his life.
I asked her if she thought he'd still meet the criteria for Autism when the DSM-5 comes out. She said it's usually the parents of children who are really high functioning that are concerned. In other words, it sounded to me like in her opinion he is not and I should have nothing to worry about. That was bitter sweet news. My brain was thinking, I'm glad I don't have to worry, but it made it clear she doesn't consider him high functioning. He's not low functioning IMO either, so he must be in the middle? For some reason my silly brain was thinking he was high functioning. I guess because I don't have any examples. He's the only child I know, whom I know has Autism, so I have nobody to compare him too. I used to work with one child long ago, but it was obvious he had Autism. He was nonverbal. Honeybunches can talk, so I thought that made him high I guess. Another part of me realizes he has his delays and struggles. I guess it was just hearing her opinion of him not being high that was a bit heartbreaking, although part of me knew it. To hear the words spoken just made it all so more real. I think as he gets older his delays, especially his social ones, are becoming more prevalent.
More changes are coming for Honeybunches. He's been seeing the same counselor whom I will call L since he was 4 years old. He's 10 now, so it's been 6+ years that he's seen her. She told us at his appointment tonight that she is finally retiring. She's 67 years old. His next visit in two weeks with her will be the last. He wrote on her white board "I feel sad" and drew a sad face. He had some of her stuffed animals say they will miss her. She gave him two beanie babies today and said he can have the rest of her stash of them at his next visit. I asked if I had to do another intake to get him a new counselor. She told me "No". She's writing up a bio about him and will find who she thinks will be the best fit for him in the office. It's a large agency with many counselors. She did have one 20-something year old man in mind. She introduced Honeybunches to him. Honeybunches made me so proud. He initiated a handshake while he said "Hi. My name is ____. Nice to meet you." That was the first time I've seen him introduce himself so professionally. He sure is growing up!!!! I told the counselor that Honeybunches will need somebody who is determined and will stick around for a bit. She said she'll talk to this man to see if he is taking new patients and to see if he would be a good fit for Honeybunches as she thinks he will. We'll know more at his next visit in two weeks.
With losing his aide at the beginning of the month and now losing his counselor whom he's seen for so long I wonder how stable he'll remain. It is all a lot for him to deal with.
Honeybunches has been a bit irritable since the time change. His new aide underwent restraint training late last week. I think Honeybunches must have been surprised when she restrained him yesterday. IDK the whole details of what happened. All I know is that he was really testy. They tried ignoring his behavior at 1st, then things escalated. He was escorted to the time out space. He was restrained for a few seconds and then began to cry. He said he was mad at Daddy for not taking him to the railroad tracks. IDK what that was all about. DH said he told Honeybunches "Maybe" they'd go to the tracks. Honeybunches never understands maybe. In his brain either things are or they are not. Today he had a better day at school.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Happy Halloween
Honeybunches had a good Halloween, even though we didn't go Trick-or-Treating. I bought him 6 yummy Vegan candy bars from Go Max Go which he was happy with. Of course I had to buy six for Mommy too lol. He said he likes Cleo's the best. I gave him the two I bought for myself with two of the other candy bars he said he didn't like as much. Cleo's are like a Vegan version of Reese's. I also bought him two other bags of candy that he can eat. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, I got one of the longest hugs ever. I guess that must mean he was happy with me lol. Trick-or-Treating often leaves him tired, grouchy and overstimulated anyways. This way he got the same amount of candy we probably would have gotten but without all the work. :)
Today was the Harvest Fest Family BBQ at his school. That was fun. Honeybunches took me on a tour to see all the scarecrows the classrooms worked hard on and have a contest for. Then we went out to recess where we searched for four leaf clovers together. Of course he found one. He's so good at seeing them in patches with many others. It was his lucky day!
Overall he's been doing pretty good at school. Last Friday he had an issue where he refused to get off the swing and hit another student. The teacher said that it turned into a very teachable moment though. His communication book said:
"He came in ready for confrontation, put his head down, and was going to refuse work. I went and got the principal. Between the two of us we got him talking and discussing what happened... He drew how he was feeling when I didn't draw the right face. I think the situation really enforced how powerful words can be. I am so proud of him. He did an amazing job. He even apologized to the student he hit."
Yesterday morning began great, but he was testing his new aide some more.
"... He refused to do his work. As a result, he lost Pokemon and part of his recess, but did his spelling and was able to go out. After lunch when he realized he was not going to earn free time, he became upset and started disrupting the class. I am happy to say given the choices, he chose the correct thing to do and turned around his afternoon. He got to go to the bus first. We talked about what happened so he can have a great day..."
Today he had an awesome day all around, at school and at home.
I am happy to say that we got through Hurricane Sandy without any issues. We never lost power and our town is mostly fine with the exception of some fallen trees, but they aren't on the major roads. :) DH's family who lives in NYC is safe too, thank goodness.
Today would have been my father's birthday. I miss him a lot today. It's the first birthday of his that he's celebrating with the angels.
Today was the Harvest Fest Family BBQ at his school. That was fun. Honeybunches took me on a tour to see all the scarecrows the classrooms worked hard on and have a contest for. Then we went out to recess where we searched for four leaf clovers together. Of course he found one. He's so good at seeing them in patches with many others. It was his lucky day!
Overall he's been doing pretty good at school. Last Friday he had an issue where he refused to get off the swing and hit another student. The teacher said that it turned into a very teachable moment though. His communication book said:
"He came in ready for confrontation, put his head down, and was going to refuse work. I went and got the principal. Between the two of us we got him talking and discussing what happened... He drew how he was feeling when I didn't draw the right face. I think the situation really enforced how powerful words can be. I am so proud of him. He did an amazing job. He even apologized to the student he hit."
Yesterday morning began great, but he was testing his new aide some more.
"... He refused to do his work. As a result, he lost Pokemon and part of his recess, but did his spelling and was able to go out. After lunch when he realized he was not going to earn free time, he became upset and started disrupting the class. I am happy to say given the choices, he chose the correct thing to do and turned around his afternoon. He got to go to the bus first. We talked about what happened so he can have a great day..."
Today he had an awesome day all around, at school and at home.
I am happy to say that we got through Hurricane Sandy without any issues. We never lost power and our town is mostly fine with the exception of some fallen trees, but they aren't on the major roads. :) DH's family who lives in NYC is safe too, thank goodness.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Persuasion, "Ooh... Ahhh" and Awesome IEP Meeting
Friday was an awesome day for Honeybunches at school. He had a good weekend too.
Monday his Communication Book stated how "He had a small issue at recess with two classmates. Honeybunches was told by one child to throw the swing at another classmate. Teachers intervened. The group was split up. The first child was put in time out. E and the other student ran off to play a chasing game. It seemed friendly enough and didn't turn into any angry play."
I am glad that the other student got disciplined and not him. I can see how in a few years people may be taking advantage of him to fight their fights for them. When he gets to the upper grades, the schools will likely not be as tolerant. They won't want to hear "Well ____ told me to do it".
Tuesday at counseling L was playing Emotional BINGO with Honeybunches. The way they play it, he picks a card. Then he has to talk about what the feelings mean. He picked "In Love". Honeybunches said "That's when a boy kisses a girl. Oooh. Ahhh. That feels good." Oh goodness!!! Does that mean puberty is coming soon?
This morning we had Honeybunches annual IEP meeting. The SPED Director said his 1:1 aide will receive Restraint Training on 11/2. They are going to clarify a few things in his IEP. We had a discussion about his possible placements for next year. The two options presented included "The Integrated Learning Center" at his current school or a classroom that's the same type he's at now, but at the 5th-6th grade school. The teacher at the ILC was Honeybunches' teacher in K-1st back when he was struggling. Princess used to call that teacher's room "The class for children with behavioral issues". Everyday when Honeybunches would get to school in that room, he'd greet the other children. Then they'd say something with a negative attitude to him or be rude to him and that would throw his whole day off. I'd see his face go from happy to sad in about 1 second. It was heartbreaking. That teacher was a good teacher. It was just that his classroom was not the correct environment for him. He's made so much progress with his current teacher. I voiced my concerns about how to him, that would seem like going backwards. They agreed. We believed as a team that a similar classroom to the one he's in now, at the 5-6th grade school would be the best fit. Of course we'll see how his year goes, but that's what we are leaning towards thinking. I have concerns over how the transition will go. The teacher said she will do some transitioning in the Spring with the children who will be going to the new school touring it, meeting the new teacher, she'll talk with the new teacher about him and stuff like that.
I requested that his 1:1 aide (Yes, his new one) be able to transition with him. The SPED Director approved that request (Unless something unforeseen happens).
I also requested that he be able to ride a bus to the school next year. We live .9 miles. At one mile a bus is required in our district. The SPED director approved that request too. I mentioned how he'd be walking to school, see a butterfly and wander into somebody's yard following it. His teacher said she could see that happening.
I requested Summer Tutoring, which the SPED director also approved. He might add in a Summer Enrichment Program with 1:1 aide, but it's unknown if that will be an option based on funding (Whether that program will even exist in the Summer is unknown at this point).
He's making a ton of steady progress. He met many of his IEP goals from last year, so they are making him new ones. His services will remain the same:
We talked about his transition to the new aide. The school counselor mentioned how Honeybunches is actually greiving. He thought Mr. N got sick because one day he went to the doc and never came back so he was worried. She's actually doing some greif counseling with him. He is very depressed because Mr. N left him the counselor said so they're focusing on those feelings right now and how to get through this. I'm glad she's working on those things with him. His teacher said that if any opportunity arises for him to test Mrs T he'll take it. She mentioned how yesterday at recess Honeybunches picked up a stick. She said staff intervened quickly so it didn't escalate, but if they hadn't she has no doubt that he would have hit somebody with it. (Congratulations to the staff for working so quickly and knowing my son lol...) She said he's constantly thinking "What can I get away with"? He one day threatened to punch the classroom aide. Then an officer was in the building, so he stopped in to see what was going on. Honeybunches was interested in him, asking if he had handcuffs, a badge, a tazer, a gun, a police car, etc. They said that made him change his tune really quick. They thought it was because he was an officer. I told them I think it's because one day he might just be an officer and how he is always pretending to be one at home.
Last year Honeybunches got excused from the MCAS and did an MCAS Alt instead (Which was a portfolio instead of the testing). This year the team suggested that he take the MCAS with "Every accommodation there is". This is to include a private setting with 1:1 aide, scribe, tracking, typing, unlimited time and more. I shall see once I get his IEP in front of me...
In counseling they are going to work more this year with helping E find words for his behaviors/feelings, calming techniques and continue grief work. Overall this was a very positive IEP meeting. This was the 1st time they didn't have his IEP for me to read though. They are changing some of his goals, updating his safety plan, and making some other changes. It worked out though, because they can put the things I requested that we agreed upon today in it. His current IEP doesn't technically expire until 10/29 anyways, so they have a few days. I expect with their extra time, that things will be perfect and it will meet my approval lol.
Monday his Communication Book stated how "He had a small issue at recess with two classmates. Honeybunches was told by one child to throw the swing at another classmate. Teachers intervened. The group was split up. The first child was put in time out. E and the other student ran off to play a chasing game. It seemed friendly enough and didn't turn into any angry play."
I am glad that the other student got disciplined and not him. I can see how in a few years people may be taking advantage of him to fight their fights for them. When he gets to the upper grades, the schools will likely not be as tolerant. They won't want to hear "Well ____ told me to do it".
Tuesday at counseling L was playing Emotional BINGO with Honeybunches. The way they play it, he picks a card. Then he has to talk about what the feelings mean. He picked "In Love". Honeybunches said "That's when a boy kisses a girl. Oooh. Ahhh. That feels good." Oh goodness!!! Does that mean puberty is coming soon?
This morning we had Honeybunches annual IEP meeting. The SPED Director said his 1:1 aide will receive Restraint Training on 11/2. They are going to clarify a few things in his IEP. We had a discussion about his possible placements for next year. The two options presented included "The Integrated Learning Center" at his current school or a classroom that's the same type he's at now, but at the 5th-6th grade school. The teacher at the ILC was Honeybunches' teacher in K-1st back when he was struggling. Princess used to call that teacher's room "The class for children with behavioral issues". Everyday when Honeybunches would get to school in that room, he'd greet the other children. Then they'd say something with a negative attitude to him or be rude to him and that would throw his whole day off. I'd see his face go from happy to sad in about 1 second. It was heartbreaking. That teacher was a good teacher. It was just that his classroom was not the correct environment for him. He's made so much progress with his current teacher. I voiced my concerns about how to him, that would seem like going backwards. They agreed. We believed as a team that a similar classroom to the one he's in now, at the 5-6th grade school would be the best fit. Of course we'll see how his year goes, but that's what we are leaning towards thinking. I have concerns over how the transition will go. The teacher said she will do some transitioning in the Spring with the children who will be going to the new school touring it, meeting the new teacher, she'll talk with the new teacher about him and stuff like that.
I requested that his 1:1 aide (Yes, his new one) be able to transition with him. The SPED Director approved that request (Unless something unforeseen happens).
I also requested that he be able to ride a bus to the school next year. We live .9 miles. At one mile a bus is required in our district. The SPED director approved that request too. I mentioned how he'd be walking to school, see a butterfly and wander into somebody's yard following it. His teacher said she could see that happening.
I requested Summer Tutoring, which the SPED director also approved. He might add in a Summer Enrichment Program with 1:1 aide, but it's unknown if that will be an option based on funding (Whether that program will even exist in the Summer is unknown at this point).
He's making a ton of steady progress. He met many of his IEP goals from last year, so they are making him new ones. His services will remain the same:
- Speech 1x30 individual; 1x30 group to reinforce the skills learned individually
- OT 1x30
- PT 1x30
- Counseling 1x30
- Social Skills Group
We talked about his transition to the new aide. The school counselor mentioned how Honeybunches is actually greiving. He thought Mr. N got sick because one day he went to the doc and never came back so he was worried. She's actually doing some greif counseling with him. He is very depressed because Mr. N left him the counselor said so they're focusing on those feelings right now and how to get through this. I'm glad she's working on those things with him. His teacher said that if any opportunity arises for him to test Mrs T he'll take it. She mentioned how yesterday at recess Honeybunches picked up a stick. She said staff intervened quickly so it didn't escalate, but if they hadn't she has no doubt that he would have hit somebody with it. (Congratulations to the staff for working so quickly and knowing my son lol...) She said he's constantly thinking "What can I get away with"? He one day threatened to punch the classroom aide. Then an officer was in the building, so he stopped in to see what was going on. Honeybunches was interested in him, asking if he had handcuffs, a badge, a tazer, a gun, a police car, etc. They said that made him change his tune really quick. They thought it was because he was an officer. I told them I think it's because one day he might just be an officer and how he is always pretending to be one at home.
Last year Honeybunches got excused from the MCAS and did an MCAS Alt instead (Which was a portfolio instead of the testing). This year the team suggested that he take the MCAS with "Every accommodation there is". This is to include a private setting with 1:1 aide, scribe, tracking, typing, unlimited time and more. I shall see once I get his IEP in front of me...
In counseling they are going to work more this year with helping E find words for his behaviors/feelings, calming techniques and continue grief work. Overall this was a very positive IEP meeting. This was the 1st time they didn't have his IEP for me to read though. They are changing some of his goals, updating his safety plan, and making some other changes. It worked out though, because they can put the things I requested that we agreed upon today in it. His current IEP doesn't technically expire until 10/29 anyways, so they have a few days. I expect with their extra time, that things will be perfect and it will meet my approval lol.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Control Game~! And the winner is...
Around 3 pm as I was getting ready to go out for the bus, the phone rang. The school called to tell us that Honeybunches was refusing to get on the bus. They had to hold the bus for him. Then as we were talking, the secretary said he did get on the bus with the help of his aide, the principal and school psychologist. A couple minutes later the phone rang again. When I seen "--- town of" on the caller ID I knew it was them again. Turns out the bus only made it to "The playground when they had to turn around because (Honeybunches) was hitting his aide and the bus driver". Thankfully my brother was home, so we could use his car to go pick him up. DH and I got there within a few minutes. Honeybunches was in his classroom, at his desk looking very sad. The teacher, principal, school counselor and school psychologist were all there in his class. I told them again a couple times that he needs a man. The 2nd time I said "I don't think I can demand a man". Everyone (They are all ladies) got some laughs out of that lol. In all seriousness he really does. I know this was part testing his aide and part a control issue. The control issue became clear when I asked him why he would not get on the bus. He said "Cause they were making me get my coat and it's sunny out". He told them that he was going to refuse to get on the bus. That was his plan. This was his game. Guess who won? He clearly did. I hope that this does not continue. I told the principal, teacher, counselor and psychologist that I was concerned about it continuing because he won the control and the test. Just that fact, might make this more likely to happen again. He loves to be in control. I am 100% sure that if his previous aide Mr. N was with him none of this would have happened. He would have gotten on that bus even if Mr. N had to make him. Them letting Honeybunches have this control is not good. I told the principal that his aide needs restraint training. They said they have it scheduled for the 20-something of this month. Thankfully we have his IEP meeting next week. Looks like we'll have a lot to discuss. Our rule at home is that if he is aggressive with people then he doesn't get to go on the computer. I told him today that if we have to go to school and pick him up again that he won't go on the computer. He seemed to be listening and understand. DH told him that if we had to go get him again, he also would stay upstairs. He loves the computer and being outside so hopefully that might stop this test from happening again. It might or might not depending on how much control E wants at school. We shall see!
Monday, October 15, 2012
Test #2
Honeybunches had a pretty good morning at school. His teacher wrote in his communication book for today that "Around 1:00 he became very silly and irritated. He refused to go to PT... He kept laughing and then became very irritated. For his own safety Mrs P (Class aide who is restraint trained) and I escorted him to the time out space. He settled down after about 10 minutes. He came back and was fine."
So two school days in a row he's needed to use the time out space. :( I had emailed the teacher with a response to what she wrote in the communication book on Friday (Which I posted here.) I told her that Honeybunches has a hard time expressing his feelings with words. I asked her to keep me updated on if objects talk to him and if he has more incidents with talking about people being dead so I can let his pdoc know. I told her how he was testing to see what he can get away with now that Mr. N is gone. I asked if he realized that they cleared the room because of him. I let her know how if he did realize that, it could have given him the control that he longs to have. I reminded her how he reads into body language, so if he can see somebody is upset, nervous, frustrated or mad he will likely do whatever he was doing even more. I told her that it's best to stay calm but let him know you are serious.
His teacher wrote back saying "I don't think he realized that I cleared the room because of him. I stayed very calm and neutral while I was talking to him because I knew if I got a reaction it was all over. I will definetly let you know of any talk that is concerning. I think stabbing the paper made him feel better in a funny kind of way. I am hoping we passed the test so things can get back to normal and now that we have had a frost we should be able to go out for recess. This should help too. I will feel better when Mrs. T has had restraint training. They give a lot of valuable de-escalation tactics so it does not get to the point of restraining....I will keep working on getting him to talk when he is angry or upset. I think he is beginning to understand the power of words... "
I sure will be glad when Mrs. T his new aide has restraint training too! Because he was struggling again today, I wonder if that means they failed his test on Friday? We shall see I guess... I'm glad that we have the IEP meeting coming up next week on the 24th.
So two school days in a row he's needed to use the time out space. :( I had emailed the teacher with a response to what she wrote in the communication book on Friday (Which I posted here.) I told her that Honeybunches has a hard time expressing his feelings with words. I asked her to keep me updated on if objects talk to him and if he has more incidents with talking about people being dead so I can let his pdoc know. I told her how he was testing to see what he can get away with now that Mr. N is gone. I asked if he realized that they cleared the room because of him. I let her know how if he did realize that, it could have given him the control that he longs to have. I reminded her how he reads into body language, so if he can see somebody is upset, nervous, frustrated or mad he will likely do whatever he was doing even more. I told her that it's best to stay calm but let him know you are serious.
His teacher wrote back saying "I don't think he realized that I cleared the room because of him. I stayed very calm and neutral while I was talking to him because I knew if I got a reaction it was all over. I will definetly let you know of any talk that is concerning. I think stabbing the paper made him feel better in a funny kind of way. I am hoping we passed the test so things can get back to normal and now that we have had a frost we should be able to go out for recess. This should help too. I will feel better when Mrs. T has had restraint training. They give a lot of valuable de-escalation tactics so it does not get to the point of restraining....I will keep working on getting him to talk when he is angry or upset. I think he is beginning to understand the power of words... "
I sure will be glad when Mrs. T his new aide has restraint training too! Because he was struggling again today, I wonder if that means they failed his test on Friday? We shall see I guess... I'm glad that we have the IEP meeting coming up next week on the 24th.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Angry Honeybunches
Honeybunches' teacher wrote a long note in his Communication Book today. It said:
"I think today was the day he realized that Mr. N was really not coming back. He started out okay at morning meeting but then refused to come over and join the group. We worked threw that but he did lose sharing his animal. He was okay during snack, Math and most of Reading. After we took our spelling test he became very silly. When we ignored that he upped the anti. He began making silly noises and really disruptive. He was given a choice to stop or lose Pokemon. He replied that he didn't care. Ultimately he ended up being escorted by Mrs. P (Class aide who is restraint trained) and myself to the time out space. At first he wanted nothing to do with telling me what was wrong. Eventually he admitted he was sad that Mr. N is not here. I told him that was okay. We went for a walk and when he came back to the class he was okay. He had a rough afternoon. He became very disruptive in class again. Only this time I moved the children out of the room. I stayed with him in the classroom. I had a hard time getting him to express how he was feeling. So I started drawing circles with different facts on them. This at least got him to pay attention to me. Once I got his attention I asked him to tell me if he was angry. He said yes but didn't know why. I asked if he was mad at me. He said no. I asked if he was mad at Mrs T. He said No. I asked if he was mad at Mrs P. He said no. Then I asked if he was mad at Mr. N. He said no. He could not tell me he was angry. He just kept stabbing his paper with his pencil. He got himself in the finger. We washed it and put a band aid on his cut. While he was stabbing the paper he told me that the paper was telling him to stab it. That was actually when I asked him if he was angry. He also said the people were dead while he was stabbing the paper. Once he admitted he was angry he began to de-escalate. He did lose free time and we talked about that too. We also talked about bringing back the circle chart. He thought that might help him next week. I will work on that this weekend. Despite everything that has happened. I think overall he had a great week. It breaks my heart when I think about how he must feel without Mr. N. by his side, but I am sure he will build a good relationship with Mrs. T. She has been great with him...."
It sounds like he might have been going through emotions and testing today. This morning he was fine. Yesterday afternoon he was a bit irritable, but didn't have any major issues.
I heard from the SPED director today. He contacted somebody from an alternative school in our area to schedule restraint training for Honeybunches' 1:1 aide. His teacher is interested in taking it too. The SPED director also apologized for the way things happened with Mr. N.
We have his IEP Meeting scheduled for the 24th of this month where I plan on going over how he is transitioning to the new aide, any concerns regarding that, possible placements for next year (5th grade supposed to be a different school), transportation for next year (The 5th grade school is close enough so he is supposed to walk because we live .9 miles and 1 mile gets a bus), and updates on progress from his teacher and providers at school.
"I think today was the day he realized that Mr. N was really not coming back. He started out okay at morning meeting but then refused to come over and join the group. We worked threw that but he did lose sharing his animal. He was okay during snack, Math and most of Reading. After we took our spelling test he became very silly. When we ignored that he upped the anti. He began making silly noises and really disruptive. He was given a choice to stop or lose Pokemon. He replied that he didn't care. Ultimately he ended up being escorted by Mrs. P (Class aide who is restraint trained) and myself to the time out space. At first he wanted nothing to do with telling me what was wrong. Eventually he admitted he was sad that Mr. N is not here. I told him that was okay. We went for a walk and when he came back to the class he was okay. He had a rough afternoon. He became very disruptive in class again. Only this time I moved the children out of the room. I stayed with him in the classroom. I had a hard time getting him to express how he was feeling. So I started drawing circles with different facts on them. This at least got him to pay attention to me. Once I got his attention I asked him to tell me if he was angry. He said yes but didn't know why. I asked if he was mad at me. He said no. I asked if he was mad at Mrs T. He said No. I asked if he was mad at Mrs P. He said no. Then I asked if he was mad at Mr. N. He said no. He could not tell me he was angry. He just kept stabbing his paper with his pencil. He got himself in the finger. We washed it and put a band aid on his cut. While he was stabbing the paper he told me that the paper was telling him to stab it. That was actually when I asked him if he was angry. He also said the people were dead while he was stabbing the paper. Once he admitted he was angry he began to de-escalate. He did lose free time and we talked about that too. We also talked about bringing back the circle chart. He thought that might help him next week. I will work on that this weekend. Despite everything that has happened. I think overall he had a great week. It breaks my heart when I think about how he must feel without Mr. N. by his side, but I am sure he will build a good relationship with Mrs. T. She has been great with him...."
It sounds like he might have been going through emotions and testing today. This morning he was fine. Yesterday afternoon he was a bit irritable, but didn't have any major issues.
I heard from the SPED director today. He contacted somebody from an alternative school in our area to schedule restraint training for Honeybunches' 1:1 aide. His teacher is interested in taking it too. The SPED director also apologized for the way things happened with Mr. N.
We have his IEP Meeting scheduled for the 24th of this month where I plan on going over how he is transitioning to the new aide, any concerns regarding that, possible placements for next year (5th grade supposed to be a different school), transportation for next year (The 5th grade school is close enough so he is supposed to walk because we live .9 miles and 1 mile gets a bus), and updates on progress from his teacher and providers at school.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Day 1 with new aide
The 1st day with Honeybunches' new aide went well. Mrs T came to the bus stop early which was good. Honeybunches did remember her from his class last year once he seen who she was. He did a great job helping her learn his schedule. I like how they let him do that, so he still felt in control a bit.
My stomach was in knots this morning. I have a habit of worrying too much. With his old aide I didn't worry after he was with him for a few months. Then I had almost 3 years of much less worries lol. I trusted him fully with Honeybunches' care. Maybe after a few months I'll trust her too. (If she lasts that long because Honeybunches went through 5 aides in K before finding Mr N at the beginning of 1st, but was also a different child back then.) I hope she likes a challenge~!
I expect him to get a feel for her before the testing begins. He always has a "Honeymoon period" 1st to study people before testing them. The question is not if he will test her but when, how, how intense the testing will be and how she will react to him. (The reactions he gets from people is what either fuels the fire or puts it out...) Either good reactions or bad ones both work for him. He just loves reactions from people and has always looked like he studied them from infancy. The more intense the better lol. Hopefully she'll know to remain calm and pass his test.
His teacher Mrs Understanding sent me an email saying "I just want to reassure you that everything will be fine and (Honeybunches) will continue to thrive in our classroom". I found out today that while neither the teacher or his new aide have restraint training another aide in the classroom does. His teacher is going to ask the SPED Director if she can receive that training.
This afternoon at his outside counseling appointment, I gave the counselor a letter to let her know about the cat dying and Mr N being laid off. She talked to him a bit about both. He made Mr N a card that says "Dear Mr N... I hope you come back soon. Love ----". That was so sweet. By the way Honeybunches was talking about it, he thinks Mrs T is just with him "Until Mr N comes back". IDK when he thinks he is coming back, but he thinks he is. IDK how to explain this one to him. I told him he might not come back. He doesn't understand "Might". I don't want to tell him he is not coming back because then if he does come back I would have lied to him. I can't tell him he is because then I'd be lying too and he'd also get his hopes up. This is a horrible predicament with us left picking up the pieces from the school district's mess.
I can see why he gets frustrated with his counselor sometimes. I went in with him and had to play translator. She could not understand him very good today. He was talking fast and mumbling a bit, but I knew exactly what he said. That kind of reminded me of the old days when I used to have to translate for everyone. Mommy just knew 95% of the time, when his words were incomprehensible to others. His speech is so much better than it used to be, but when he gets nervous he talks fast and quiet which does make it harder to understand.
My stomach was in knots this morning. I have a habit of worrying too much. With his old aide I didn't worry after he was with him for a few months. Then I had almost 3 years of much less worries lol. I trusted him fully with Honeybunches' care. Maybe after a few months I'll trust her too. (If she lasts that long because Honeybunches went through 5 aides in K before finding Mr N at the beginning of 1st, but was also a different child back then.) I hope she likes a challenge~!
I expect him to get a feel for her before the testing begins. He always has a "Honeymoon period" 1st to study people before testing them. The question is not if he will test her but when, how, how intense the testing will be and how she will react to him. (The reactions he gets from people is what either fuels the fire or puts it out...) Either good reactions or bad ones both work for him. He just loves reactions from people and has always looked like he studied them from infancy. The more intense the better lol. Hopefully she'll know to remain calm and pass his test.
His teacher Mrs Understanding sent me an email saying "I just want to reassure you that everything will be fine and (Honeybunches) will continue to thrive in our classroom". I found out today that while neither the teacher or his new aide have restraint training another aide in the classroom does. His teacher is going to ask the SPED Director if she can receive that training.
This afternoon at his outside counseling appointment, I gave the counselor a letter to let her know about the cat dying and Mr N being laid off. She talked to him a bit about both. He made Mr N a card that says "Dear Mr N... I hope you come back soon. Love ----". That was so sweet. By the way Honeybunches was talking about it, he thinks Mrs T is just with him "Until Mr N comes back". IDK when he thinks he is coming back, but he thinks he is. IDK how to explain this one to him. I told him he might not come back. He doesn't understand "Might". I don't want to tell him he is not coming back because then if he does come back I would have lied to him. I can't tell him he is because then I'd be lying too and he'd also get his hopes up. This is a horrible predicament with us left picking up the pieces from the school district's mess.
I can see why he gets frustrated with his counselor sometimes. I went in with him and had to play translator. She could not understand him very good today. He was talking fast and mumbling a bit, but I knew exactly what he said. That kind of reminded me of the old days when I used to have to translate for everyone. Mommy just knew 95% of the time, when his words were incomprehensible to others. His speech is so much better than it used to be, but when he gets nervous he talks fast and quiet which does make it harder to understand.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Honeybunches 1:1 Aide of 3 Years Laid Off
Thursday Honeybunches came home from school early. The school said he had a headache, wasn't eating, kept his head laid down on his desk and refused to go to the nurse. Once home besides not having as big an appetite as usual and being a little less hyper he was fine. Friday he had diarrhea twice in the morning so I kept him home. Good thing I did because I would not have wanted him to be at school with the chaos that happened.
Friday the SPED Director called me. Honeybunches 1:1 aide who has been with him since the beginning of 1st grade, so for the past 3+ years got laid off. :( :( :( </3 </3
He explained it as last school year the district did some lay-offs. They chose to lay off the wrong way. They kept the ones with special training, like Honeybunches' 1:1 who had restraint training and other training related to his diagnoses. They laid off others. The aides who got laid off contacted the union. The union got their lawyers. The lawyers demanded the school district re-hire those people and lay-off based on seniority only. I guess Honeybunches' aide has not been there as long as others, so he had to be one of those who got laid off. Although he was with Honeybunches for 3+ years, he was down on the totem pole I guess. Honeybunches struggles with changes and transitions. They didn't even give this a transition. It was basically he got laid off Friday, was all done Friday, and the new aide will begin Tuesday. (There is no school here on Monday cause it's a holiday.) No prior notice. Just done. That's what frustrates me the most about this whole situation. No transition. No letting his aide who he was very close with a chance to say "Good-bye" and explain the situation. Just done. It sounded like these lay-offs happened in the middle of the school day, as the SPED director called me about noontime sounding like things just happened. I'm glad he stayed home that day! The SPED Director said his aide is "Distraught" because he bonded so well with Honeybunches. I know he loved Honeybunches. I think I might request that they don't leave the same aide with him for that long again. The change might just be too much for him. We shall see how this goes.
When I told him the news about his aide on Friday he said in the saddest voice "Please lock my door and leave me alone". Then DH asked him if a dollar would make him feel better. Honeybunches said while crying "No but maybe two dollars will". LOL Little con!
In all seriousness again, I wonder how these changes will affect him.
The aide was a crossing guard. When the SPED Director called me there was some mix up about how she'd ride the bus with Honeybunches because of that. The new aide called me herself to discuss Honeybunches. She said that she resigned from her position as the crossing guard so she can be "All (Honeybunches)". She only lives a half mile from us so she said she'd walk over to take the bus with him in the mornings. Then she'll ride home with him in the afternoons (But stay on the bus to proceed to another school where she does an afterschool program). I told the SPED Director that I expect the new aide to stay in close proximity to him. His old aide gave him some space at recess, but with these changes that would not be a good idea right now. Honeybunches is having a really hard time understanding what "Laid Off" means and why his previous aide won't be working with him anymore. I told him the school district can't pay him anymore. Even that was too hard and confusing for him to grasp.
Friday the SPED Director called me. Honeybunches 1:1 aide who has been with him since the beginning of 1st grade, so for the past 3+ years got laid off. :( :( :( </3 </3
He explained it as last school year the district did some lay-offs. They chose to lay off the wrong way. They kept the ones with special training, like Honeybunches' 1:1 who had restraint training and other training related to his diagnoses. They laid off others. The aides who got laid off contacted the union. The union got their lawyers. The lawyers demanded the school district re-hire those people and lay-off based on seniority only. I guess Honeybunches' aide has not been there as long as others, so he had to be one of those who got laid off. Although he was with Honeybunches for 3+ years, he was down on the totem pole I guess. Honeybunches struggles with changes and transitions. They didn't even give this a transition. It was basically he got laid off Friday, was all done Friday, and the new aide will begin Tuesday. (There is no school here on Monday cause it's a holiday.) No prior notice. Just done. That's what frustrates me the most about this whole situation. No transition. No letting his aide who he was very close with a chance to say "Good-bye" and explain the situation. Just done. It sounded like these lay-offs happened in the middle of the school day, as the SPED director called me about noontime sounding like things just happened. I'm glad he stayed home that day! The SPED Director said his aide is "Distraught" because he bonded so well with Honeybunches. I know he loved Honeybunches. I think I might request that they don't leave the same aide with him for that long again. The change might just be too much for him. We shall see how this goes.
When I told him the news about his aide on Friday he said in the saddest voice "Please lock my door and leave me alone". Then DH asked him if a dollar would make him feel better. Honeybunches said while crying "No but maybe two dollars will". LOL Little con!
In all seriousness again, I wonder how these changes will affect him.
The aide was a crossing guard. When the SPED Director called me there was some mix up about how she'd ride the bus with Honeybunches because of that. The new aide called me herself to discuss Honeybunches. She said that she resigned from her position as the crossing guard so she can be "All (Honeybunches)". She only lives a half mile from us so she said she'd walk over to take the bus with him in the mornings. Then she'll ride home with him in the afternoons (But stay on the bus to proceed to another school where she does an afterschool program). I told the SPED Director that I expect the new aide to stay in close proximity to him. His old aide gave him some space at recess, but with these changes that would not be a good idea right now. Honeybunches is having a really hard time understanding what "Laid Off" means and why his previous aide won't be working with him anymore. I told him the school district can't pay him anymore. Even that was too hard and confusing for him to grasp.
I wrote the Superintendent about my concerns regarding this situation. He wrote me back and said:
"I
am very sorry about what has taken place, and a bit disgruntled too.
This was outside of my control, as (SPED Director) explained. I know that Mr. N
worked very hard and very well with (Honeybunches), and if funding comes
available in the future I will do all that I can to get him back. Do
not hesitate to call
me if there are any issues with the change. I will overlook what is
happening with (Honeybunches) myself!"
All this after I wrote the Superintendent a lovely email Thursday
saying how impressed I am with everything he's done for the school
district, how wonderful everyone has been with Honeybunches, how lucky I am that he
gets his needs taken care of right here, how proud I was of Angel
getting "Advanced" and "Proficient" on her 10th grade MCAS etc.
I wrote
another letter Friday telling him I'm not so happy anymore, how he struggles with no men around, how transitions are hard for him, how these changes can throw him into a depression and cause him to have major issues. I also told him how wonderful his last aide was, how he not only knew his needs, could read his body language so he could prevent things from happening before they did and he was also an excellent advocate for him.
I typed up the new aide a 3 page "Intro to Honeybunches". I really hope she takes the time to read it as I made the time to write it. Chances are Honeybunches will test this new aide to see how she'll react and what he can get away with. DH and I are both concerned about how Honeybunches will do without a man in the room. When DH goes away he has a hard time controlling his body. Even in counseling sometimes when he struggles, his counselor will call a man counselor to the room and he'll change up real quick. For whatever reason he just needs that male figure around him.
Then I wrote another (Yup the 3rd) letter to the SPED Director and Superintendent requesting that the new aide receive training about Honeybunches' Autism and Bipolar diagnoses as well as undergo Restraint Training. I made it clear that nobody is to touch my son without the proper training unless it's an emergency situation.
I wrote both his aide and teacher about expecting him to test the
new aide to see how she'll react and what he can get away with.
Yesterday while Honeybunches was outside riding his scooter up and down the sidewalk he came into the house screaming that he thinks "Jinn got hit by a car." Yup the cat was lifeless lying in the middle of our busy street. Jinn was our outside cat. He was Angel's favorite. With Honeybunches being the one to find him, I know it affected him. We were in the store later that day getting cat food for our other cats Mystery and Sunny. Honeybunches said "Draco likes this kind". Draco was another cat of ours who got hit a few years ago. I think Jinn getting hit by a car reminded him of Draco, whom he was pretty close with. We've lost a few cats to this street. The speed limit is 45 but cars go more like 60 past our house. Hopefully our other two cats who we've had since they were 6-8 weeks old and that have never gone outside will be safe.
So between losing Mr N and him finding our dead cat, I know this weekend must have been harder on him then it seems to have been. He is like me in some ways. He does a good job hiding his emotions sometimes. I believe it is affecting him though, because yesterday he woke up at 4:30 and stayed up until 8:30 without any naps. That's a very long day. Lately for the past year or so he has been getting up at 6-6:30 so 4:30 is not normal for him. His mood seemed okay today though.
We have some new neighbors. This couple with a six-year-old girl H moved next door. Honeybunches and Princess have been having a lot of fun playing with her. Yesterday I guess he yelled at H for riding his scooter, but she came back today to play with him so I guess she is forgiving.
I
also miss my father who passed away on May 1st a lot today. My b-day
is coming up on the 15th and it will be the 1st one without him. He has
sung to me every year. It just won't be the same without him. This has been a hard weekend for me.
I am worried how not having Mr N with him will affect Honeybunches. I worry how his days will go without him there. Like the SPED Director voiced in his worries while telling me the news "I don't want him to go backwards".
I was planning on sending in the $$ and application to take testing for my CNA license again. I chose to hold off on that for a few months now because of these changes at school. I want to see how the next 3-6 months will go for Honeybunches, before I decide to go back to work. I figure it would be better to wait until I'm sure it would work out.
Momma bear has come out of hiding. I have not been sleeping well. I've been thinking of everything we can do for him to make these changes go okay. That includes writing letters, making demands, paying close attention to his transition, seeing how it affects him, and all that fun Mommy/Advocate stuff. I think I'll keep a log of how his days go, any incidents since the change, etc.
Thankfully we're due for his Annual IEP Review at the end of the month. I sent a letter requesting that too. I asked to hold it as close as possible to the IEP expiration date so that way we'd have a chance to see how he is adjusting to his new aide.
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