On Wednesday there was an issue at school that concerned me. Honeybunches new aide wrote in his book how he got a "... check for PE for knocking over stacking cups and refusing to pick them up. Good recess but had a hard time after word of the day when he got only 1 extra word of the day instead of a whole page. I told him he could earn one but continued to disrupt. Kids left for library. "Honeybunches" and two of us stayed behind with him. Tried talking for a few minutes. After thinking Officer S (School Resource Officer) may stop by he settled right down and went on with his day..."
I asked what made him think Officer S might stop by. She stated:
"He was having a minor meltdown and it was
escalating so another teacher made a pretend phone call to Officer
S and he stopped shoving his desk immediately..."
Believe me I wrote to his teacher about this one!!! I sent her an email and a letter in his bag this morning. I figured I'd give her the benefit of the doubt because she was not there. She's been so wonderful with Honeybunches that I didn't feel it would be right to just step over her head. So I sent the letter which stated word for word what was written in his book plus...
"Neither my husband nor I approve of calling or pretending to call Officer S on "Honeybunches" as a means of getting him to cooperate or behave. I believe the people working with him should find more effective ways to discipline him. Things should remain consistent between staff. I don't believe that threatening him will work effectively if continued nor do I approve of it. One of these times he might ask them to make Officer S come. Then how will they deal with it? One day he might decide he wants to see the police to check out their handcuffs or gear. Besides being inappropriate for many reasons, I feel that might shatter his dream. He often plays police and I don't want him to have a negative image of them or see them as threatening. Part of the reason I don't approve of this is because police often don't know how to handle children with mental health diagnoses or other special needs like Autism. I don't want him seen as a "Bad kid" which is how the police might view him without knowing more about his diagnoses. I do not believe that empty threats are appropriate or threats in general. I don't agree with getting the police involved with him, especially because of his age. While I understand how things can be in the heat of the moment, it sounds like staff working with Honeybunches need a better, more appropriate plan in place. Also, I believe that pretending to call the police will never get to the root of what caused the behavioral issue in the beginning. While it may stop behavior immediately in it's tracks, It will do nothing to prevent future episodes and may cause him to shut down." I trust that you will resolve this issue before I feel the need to contact (Sped director) and (Superintendent) to write a complaint. I haven't had any issues in the way you have dealt with "Honeybunches". In fact, you have been one of the people I trust most with him. I have no concerns when he is with you. Please talk to the other staff who work with him on days and times you are not there about better ways to deal with him. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Also I would like to see his updated Safety Plan if it is completed. I am wondering if a Behavioral Intervention Plan would be appropriate for times when you are not there so that there could be more consistency in how he is dealt with? What are your thoughts on that? I just believe things need to be dealt with in a more appropriate manner."
Today I went to the PAC meeting at the school. There was a great turn out. Besides me, there were 3 other parents! That was a big crowd lol. In the past sometimes it was only me, the lady who runs them and the SPED director. It was great to have company.
Anyways, when I was on the way there DH called to tell me the school psychologist called me about the letter I wrote to Mrs Understanding. After the meeting I decided to stop by Honeybunches' school to see if the school psych was available. She was so I went into her office for about 20 minutes. She told me that she didn't approve of how the situation was handled the other day. She reassured me it will not happen again. Mrs Understanding came in for about half of the time I was there. We sat down together and discussed things including why it was wrong, my concerns and what they plan on doing about it. The aide was already spoken to about how it was not okay to deal with him the way she did. I voiced my concerns about how although the new aide is restraint trained, I don't believe she is comfortable doing it or comfortable dealing with him when things get heated. I suggested that she call for help from the school psychologist, a certain male aide who knows Honeybunches, his old behavioral room teacher, or the school principal for help and suggestions when needed. They reassured me that they are coming up with an updated Safety Plan and Behavioral Intervention Plan which I'll get copies of when they are ready. The new aide is also going to go to a 38 hour whole week session on Restraint Training and De-Escalation in January. She recently completed a couple hour course, but the one the Superintendent is sending her to is more intense. Hopefully that will make her more comfortable. Anyways, I feel better since we had that meeting. I still am not too sure if this new aide is a good fit for Honeybunches. She does do some things which he loves like making tons of crafts. IDK if I have faith that she'll be able to handle him next year on her own at a new school where nobody knows him. That might not be a good situation. I guess we'll see how the rest of this year goes. They found a new reward for Honeybunches at the end of the day. Yesterday they gave him a special job of helping the janitor with the garbage. He loves helping with that lol. It's also "Heavy Work" which is part of his Sensory Diet and calming for him. That was a hit and something they plan on using as part of his reward system. Speaking of his reward system at school, that's complicated too. He's very reward driven, but things have to be changed up every so often because they lose effectiveness. New rewards that he's interested in help. Finding things he's interested in is not always easy.
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