Shorter School Day with Optimism

A lot has happened since I last posted, although it was not that long ago. The SpEd Director granted my request for a "Shorter School Day" and amended his IEP. For now, he'll not be going to any of the UAs or Gym. We'll conveine the IEP team on October 8th for his annual review and program review. From there, we'll discuss adding back in his UAs. Part of the SpEd Director's email said "We need to be thoughtful about his schedule and add things in to increase his independence and success levels in a planned manner".

She also let me know that the classroom aide in his main class is going to be Mr. N (Who was his 1:1 aide from 1st through the beginning of 4th, when he got laid off). Just knowing that, eased my anxiety substantially. His presence will be such a blessing, as it's a link with somebody who knows him and his needs. He also understood Honeybunches more than the teachers did much of the time.

 It seems like the school is trying to do all they can to help his transition to middle school be a successful one. The adjustment counselor he'll have also sounds great. She's going to get him from class a few minutes early every day for lunch. Then they'll go through the lunch line to get his food before all the other children get there. The plan is for him to eat in her office with a very small group until he's more comfortable. On days when he gets out at the regular time, they are letting him out three minutes early before the halls get crowded.

For tomorrow, Princess plans on going with him a few minutes early so they'll be the first ones in line for breakfast. If the cafeteria gets too noisy for him, the adjustment counselor said they can go to her office as she will be there early. IDK how he'll be able to tolerate breakfast, but he wants to try it. They're NOT making him go to the first day assembly. From breakfast, the adjustment counselor will walk him to class where he'll stay with either the teacher or class aide. They'll present the information to him and one other student who likely won't go to the assembly either. I've been in touch with his teachers and the nurse. The nurse sounds very understanding. She suggested I leave a stash of Gatorade and waters in her office.

 

Middle School Nightmare Schedule

We received Honeybunches middle school schedule in the mail yesterday. It looks like this:

It gets even better! One day is a red day with the next being a blue day. It rotates like that throughout the school year. You can see how those make the schedule look to the left of the pic.

I proceeded to write the following email to the IEP Chairperson, SpEd Director, Dean and Superintendent:

"I have concerns regarding both my children's schedules.
I'll begin with Princess --'s first, as her concern is simpler. I see she was placed with Mrs. N for Algebra 1A. It had been decided at a previous IEP meeting that she was not to be placed with her unless she was the only teacher teaching the specific class she needed. This was due to a teacher-student conflict and clash of personalities. Princess has mentioned dropping out of school before taking her class and that she'll likely get expelled having to deal with that teacher.

Now onto Honeybunches --'s schedule...
I see he has music on red days with Mr. Music Teacher in B block. I have concerns that music will be too overstimulating for him. It's especially concerning in the morning, because then he'd likely either have behavioral issues or shut down for the rest of the day. I see in last year's handbook that art, drafting, business or foreign languages are other options. I can see foreign language being too frustrating for him, when he struggles even with the English language sometimes. I am thinking that Art, Drafting or Business would be a better fit for him. With his sensory needs relating to his Autism and previous struggles and behavioral issues at (Elementary School) relating to Music, I think putting him in that class is setting him up for failure. I also think it will get him off to a bad start at (Middle School). I don't understand why that class was chosen for him, when I thought I made myself pretty clear in previous emails about his sensory overstimulation related to Autism and how that class would not be a good choice for him.

Another concern I have is with Woodworking. Although that is a less stimulating choice for him, the end of the day is known to be when he struggles the most. I also have concerns about him having access to saws, chizzels, hammers, electric sanders, nails, screw drivers and other dangerous weapons... I mean tools... that could be used as weapons... that could cause serious bodily injury to another child. I honestly fear for the safety of the other children in that class, if Honeybunches becomes frustrated, overstimulated, his Bipolar becomes unstable or something else in the day might have caused him to be in a bad mood. I thought I'd be blunt, in case something serious does happen at least I gave you all warning of his potential. His lack of impulse control related to his diagnoses (Bipolar and Autism) could have serious consequences in that class especially without a 1:1 aide who is restraint trained. I would hate to see the injuries a child could be subjected to at the hands of somebody who might have a moment of insanity and not remember what happened or by a child who does not realize how his actions affect other children but acts on impulse and the "Fight or flight" reaction often times when he feels unsafe in a world with too many people. There are times hen he is not in control of his body, because of his Bipolar Disorder.  I truly would hate to see another child get hurt due to (Middle School)'s policies of placing children who can't handle them into these UAs just because they might be a graduation requirement. We could see how it goes (And hope for the best), if that's what you all insist, but it would not have been right for me not to give you prior notification of the potential for another child or staff member to become seriously injured in that class. My conscience will rest easier now. (Plus, documentation that I let you all know in case something serious does happen in that class which ends up having legal ramifications against Honeybunches. You all would have had prior knowledge that it was a possibility, which puts it in your hands too and not just his.) At home, we hide all our tools, keep knives out of reach and don't let him use any of them for safety reasons.

How many children are going to be in his Technology, Gym, Music and Woodworking classes? He has only been in substantially separate classrooms since Kindergarten. His class for 5-6th grade (Mr. M’s) had 4 students, the teacher and 3 class aides. Going from that to these general classes is too big of a leap. I spoke with Honeybunches. He is totally against music class ("Not gonna do it"), but said he'd try woodworking if he's not in a bad mood. I thought I'd let you know his input on things too."

I hope I did not go overboard with this email. Some people say that I should not have told the school about the possibilities of tools becoming weapons in woodshop as they might perceive that as a threat. I did what I always do.... What I believe to be best for Honeybunches. I am awaiting a response back from the school district. In the meantime, I've begun drafting letters to all his teachers regarding his diagnoses, strenghts, challenges, what has worked and more about him. It's similar to the "All About Me" pdf I made at the end of the previous school year in preparation for this upcoming one, but more condensed. I left out parts about his diagnostic history, medications and things like that which don't need to be known by everyone at the school.  For example, technology and gym teachers don't need to know that. I did, however, let the gym teacher know about him being on Lithium which can cause toxicity if he sweats too much and also on other medications which put him at high risk of heat exhaustion and heat stroke. I will email those out at the beginning of next week. Hopefully by then we'll have his schedule fixed. 

Last night, I actually spent some time researching public virtual schools here in MA. It looked like a promising possibility, until I got to the part about mandatory MCAS/PARCC testing. At school he does not have to take either, as the teachers do an alternate assessment. That made me think that online schooling would not be the best option for him either. The more I learn about this middle school, the more I believe it won't meet his needs. The only way to get him into another school is to let him try and (Sadly) struggle. Only then, will I have the proof I need for a good debate. Knowing my son has to fail before getting the help he needs is one of the toughest things about parenting a child with special needs. 

Then there is DH, who always seems to carefree. That's just his personality. It's good sometimes because it kind of evens my worrying about everything all the time out. At other times, it honestly gets annoying though. 

Honeybunches anxiety has been very high these past few weeks. I know it's all related to transitioning to middle school. He struggled with even small changes. He refuses to sleep in his room. He won't even go in there at night. He's been sleeping on a toddler bed mattress on the living room floor while I sleep on the futon. His separation anxiety has also been very high. He's had some struggles at tutoring. I have to stay with him at the sessions because he was having some behaviors (Threats, running out of the building, refusals, etc) that made the tutor uncomfortable. This is the last week of tutoring. Next week, there are two orientation programs and a "Now that I have my schedule tour". We also are planning on having him go on Friday, without other children around, to meet all his teachers. Then on the 31st, this school year begins. Any guesses on when I'll get the first phone call?