DCF Visit

Today a car pulled up in the parking lot.  A man walked to the front door with a folder in his hand.  The dogs barked so I looked.  I seen my brother get my mother, then my mother let him in.  He was downstairs talking for about a half hour or so before my brother knocked on the stairs to get my attention telling me DCF was here.  (DCF is the Child Protective Services agency in my state).  Then I was asked to go downstairs to talk to him.  The man asked a bunch of questions about Honeybunches.  My mother has a licensed home daycare.  She's been watching this little girl H since she was just a few months.  Now she is about 7-8 years old. H's Mom called my Mom a little over a week ago to say that H told the school that Honeybunches supposedly put a plastic bag and blanket over her head, then smashed her head on the bureau so we'd probably be hearing from DCF.  1st off, we never let him play with plastic bags!  So he questioned my mother, my brother, and me.  He was asking me all types of questions.  "Has anyone ever told you he can not be around children"?  "No".  "What times does he take his medications"?  "In the morning, at noon and at bedtime".  "Does he take any in the afternoon, after school"?  "No".  "So he doesn't take any in the afternoon"?  "No". "Why does he have an aide at school"?  "Because he needs one to keep himself safe and to help him pay attention".  (Okay so with this one I told the truth, but not the whole truth lol... not really his business IMO and the less we tell to those people the better.) "So he had a med change a recently... why was that"?  "Over April vacation he was getting irritable so we raised his Abilify.  Then we had to lower it again because he had symptoms of Tardive Dyskinesia.  Do you know what that is?  It's caused by meds like Abilify.  It caused him to pucker his lips like this and stick his tongue in and out without knowing it.  We then increased his Lithium." 

My mother mentioned that he asked her if anyone ever said Honeybunches needs a 1:1 at daycare, has there been a report that he hurt anyone before, has anyone said he can't be with other children, have there been other reports involving him, and a ton more questions.  I was open with him about how Honeybunches has many diagnoses including Bipolar and Autism.  He asked could he talk to Honeybunches.  I told him he could try but IDK how much he'd get answers because of his Receptive-Expressive Language Disorder. He was here for a while, then left and came back to question Honeybunches soon after he got off the bus.  I told him that the DCF man was coming to talk to him because H said he hurt her.  He said he didn't.  Honeybunches did a great job talking with him.  He told him "H must be lying", how he might have only put a blanket over her head and that's all.  The man asked him the same question twice "What happened with H", with a few others in between such as what type of things do they do together, does he get mad at her, does she get mad at him, etc.  He was alone with him in the other room, but I was standing right at the doorway listening to make sure he was not coaxing him to say certain things.  He was kind of slick with questioning him the way he did.  Honeybunches stayed on track and answered well though. IDK if legally I had to let him question Honeybunches alone, but I felt like cooperating was the best thing to do. Oh and another thing... DCF man said H was supposedly too scared to tell anyone when this happened.  H tattled on Honeybunches about every little thing.  She told me many times how he was not sharing, not listening to her words, annoying her, interrupting her play with Princess, and every little thing he did.  I know that part is a lie.  She's not a scared child.  That makes no sense. Plus she was so scared that she always asked to come up here and play on the computer.  Yeah, okay DCF man!  I didn't get good vibes from this DCF man.  He seemed to be new on the job.  I've dealt with them enough in the past with allegations that got investigated then screened out, a couple that got opened, and with things regarding Shnooks to know these things.  This man didn't seem to know what he was doing.  He didn't ask the right questions.  For example why ask what time a child takes medications, but not ask what meds they are on?  How is that relevant?  Anyways, I am curious to see where this goes because he seems shady.  Also I wonder who filed this report.  The school counselor who knows Honeybunches and is part of the SPED PAC meetings that I will see next year and have dealt with many times?  The principal of H's school who is moving to Honeybunches' school next year? It was supposedly somebody from the school.  I just wonder who I should be cautious of and not trust?  Everyone maybe?  When things like this happen it's hard to put my guard down.  If it was down previously this makes it shoot back up again.  I will be looking at people next year wondering if they are the ones who called. 

My mother and I are both sure this incident that is being investigated never happened, at least the way they are stating it did.  The last day H was here, she was really mad at me.  H called her mother about 4x.  Finally I hung up the phone on her and told her to leave her mother alone because she was busy.  Then H said "Der ____ that is so stupid", ran in the other room and slammed the door.  The mother had the nerve to tell my mother that "Once this all blows over she can watch H again".  My mother is so frustrated, hurt, crying, angry and under so many feelings about all this.  She figures she's watched H all her life and wonders why her mother would wait until soon after my father's death to pull this.  H likes to hang around with Princess too.  Watch they will be calling in a few weeks like nothing happened asking can H come over or if Princess can sleep over there.  There is no way in H... E... double hockey sticks I am allowing that girl in my house or my children in hers.  She is trouble.  Her mother lets her walk to the store at 2 in the morning Princess told me one of the times she slept over.  She knows more about cat's balls (AKA private pieces) then children her age should be concerned about.  Yes, Honeybunches may have been aggressive with her in the past, but not recently and no where near how she described things.  The main thing is the bag.  He never plays with bags. The DCF man took my phone # along with my mother's, because I told him if he had more questions about Honeybunches I could answer them better.  DCF man asked who my mother's daycare licenser is.  I wonder what is going to come about from all this?  I guess we shall see if anything. The oddest part about this was it was like Honeybunches was the one the allegations were about and he was the one being investigated, not my mom or myself.  It was nothing about what we did, didn't do, should have did, could have did, or anything like that.  It was just what he supposedly did.  Everything, every question was about him.  Is that the job of DCF now-a-days too?  That was different.  Yup, another day in the life of a child with alphabet soup!!!