It's Been A Long Road...

Honeybunches has been doing pretty well. He's adjusted well to middle school.

On the other hand, my Princess (17 y.o dear daughter) is really struggling. IDK exactly how this began.
At times, I wonder if there is more going on with her because she reminds me so much of Shnooks. Princess does have a history of cutting and suicidal thoughts. Things with her were okay until a couple years ago. At that point, we spent four nights in the ER that year, but a bed never became available. She seemed to be okay on her own. Back in October of 2015, she began spiraling downhill real fast. One day in that month she had a seizure of unknown origin.

In February this year she became suicidal again and ran away. After finding her and spending four nights in the ER, she was placed in her first psychiatric hospitalization. She was there for two-and-a-half weeks until the beginning of March. They did not diagnose her with anything, but began her on Tegretol, Risperdal and Trazadone. She came home fairly stable and more happy. The Tegretol made her deathly ill severely decreasing her white blood cells and platelets, causing fevers, swollen lymph nodes and other issues.  The Risperdal caused her liver enzymes to go through the roof and liver inflammation. She had to come off both of those. We tried going the natural remedy route, which was going okay until she met with the psychiatrist who told her how dangerous herbal supplements were because they are not regulated by the FDA and yadda yadda yadda so from that point she refused to take them. Interestingly, she seemed fine for a few weeks.

On Monday, March 11th the school counselor called me stating how Princess said some very concerning things about life not being worth living anymore. She went to her outpatient counselor that afternoon and stated similar things in more detail. The counselor brought me in and we called crisis under her advisement. After three nights in the ER, they found her a bed at a CBAT which is like a step down from a hospital (Not locked, but besides that similar or more like a short term residential). That was an interesting experience. First they put her on Zoloft, which made her worse instead of better. When her and I told them it made her worse, they increased the dose lol. Finally, at the beginning of last week they took her off, but didn't replace it with anything because "Her time was up..."

Here are some updates I posted to the support groups I belong too... 

APRIL 28TH:
Princess got discharged a couple hours ago.  We are back at the local ER awaiting crisis. Interestingly, she wondered away from the CBAT this morning (Followed by staff), found glass on the street that she cut herself with (Said staff said they couldn't touch her or stop her off the CBAT grounds), was searching for a bridge to jump off and THEY STILL DISCHARGED HER! Nobody called me! She called to tell me earlier to tell me all this, but when I asked staff at discharge they confirmed everything like it was no big deal. "Tasia told me she wandered away" I said. "Yup, we went for a walk". " She said she found some glass and cut her arms..." I said. He responded with "Yup she did". I asked if she was looking for a bridge. " Yup" was his response.  "Her time was up". The system is so broken. We went home for a minute to call crisis, who sent us back to the local ER. The doc medically cleared and Section 12d her (Mandatory psych hold). Crisis should be coming to talk to us sometime tonight. Thankfully I have tomorrow off. Doc said she needs hospital not CBAT as it's a higher level of care. Here we go again. Everyone here is shaking their heads about her discharge. I wonder how many nights we shall spend here in the ER this time?

APRIL 30TH:

This morning I went to go see Princess at the local ER where she spent the night. Crisis was there before I even got there. When I arrived, the man talked to me saying he was going to begin the search. About an hour later, he said they secured her a bed at a psych hospital about an hour away from where we live. It's well-reputed and part of a big chain. The ambulance took her, but my mother and I drove down because I had to do all the paperwork. That place is huge (104 psych beds, but only 24 for children and teens). This place has a good reputation and pretty good reviews. I've never heard anything bad about it. I am hopeful.

We got there before the ambulance. It gave us time to fill out the paperwork before she arrived. They have her on a Section 12 (Mandatory 72 hour hold, which doesn't include weekends). That's a good thing. After she arrived, we went upstairs to the unit. All the staff that walked by introduced themselves. Everyone seems very friendly. The nurse did a good job of looking over her paperwork and recognizing her allergies before we got there. :) The crisis place put together a thorough history which they passed on. I got a very good first impression of this place. Their visiting hours are longer than the other place and work better with my job schedule. The only bad thing is that they say no children under 18 can visit on the child/adolescent unit so Honeybunches can't go see her. Eh, he might not want to anyways because he is mad at her for leaving him. When I voiced my concerns about places rushing her out, the RN who did the intake told me they won't discharge her until she is stable and even then may refer her to some aftercare if that's necessary. I read online reviews online stating that they are very detailed with their aftercare plans, which sometimes include step down programs before coming home. IMO, that's a good thing especially after our experience with the CBAT she was discharged from yesterday. I am optimistic that this might be the place that can help her.

So, that's my update for today. Hubby, Honeybunches and I are holding up okay. My mother and I went out to eat at a buffet and did some shopping before heading back home. That was a good stress reliever. I figured I would remember my own advice I give to everyone else... "Take care of yourself..." I didn't see Honeybunches for more than an hour today though which makes me feel bad. Tomorrow after work, I'll spend some quality time with him.
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NEWER UPDATES:

 5/2 Update #1: 

Princess hospital just called me. The nurse let me know that they had to do a personal and room search on Princess and her roommate. Turns out, they were giving each other tattoos somehow. Princess got a hold of a tiny little razor, which they found in her possession. All she told them was "It was magic". She tried re-opening her cuts from the other day. The nurse said they did not make a big deal out of it. They just cleaned and put bandaids on the wounds. The phosp took all her privileges away and threatened her with possibly having to go to the adult unit since she is 17 and told her how it's no fun there. They are separating her and the roommate. They'll have no contact. The nurse said she hadn't seen this side of Princess. They are not allowing her access to anything that could possibly be used as a sharp.

 

5/2 Update #2:

Princess phosp called again. They said she got the razor-like object from her bra with an underwire. She proceeded to cut her arms, belly and legs. She also punched a wall. The tattoo she tried to do is on her hand. They put her in a private room for the night.
I will update more here as the days go by, to keep a journal of her experiences for my future references. My facebook page has too much family on it and IDK if I want everyone knowing every bit of our business.