Honeybunches 1:1 Aide of 3 Years Laid Off

Thursday Honeybunches came home from school early.  The school said he had a headache, wasn't eating, kept his head laid down on his desk and refused to go to the nurse.  Once home besides not having as big an appetite as usual and being a little less hyper he was fine.  Friday he had diarrhea twice in the morning so I kept him home.  Good thing I did because I would not have wanted him to be at school with the chaos that happened. 

Friday the SPED Director called me.  Honeybunches 1:1 aide who has been with him since the beginning of 1st grade, so for the past 3+ years got laid off. :( :( :( </3 </3

He explained it as last school year the district did some lay-offs.  They chose to lay off the wrong way.  They kept the ones with special training, like Honeybunches' 1:1 who had restraint training and other training related to his diagnoses. They laid off others.  The aides who got laid off contacted the union.  The union got their lawyers.  The lawyers demanded the school district re-hire those people and lay-off based on seniority only.  I guess Honeybunches' aide has not been there as long as others, so he had to be one of those who got laid off.  Although he was with Honeybunches for 3+ years, he was down on the totem pole I guess.  Honeybunches struggles with changes and transitions.  They didn't even give this a transition.  It was basically he got laid off Friday, was all done Friday, and the new aide will begin Tuesday. (There is no school here on Monday cause it's a holiday.) No prior notice.  Just done.  That's what frustrates me the most about this whole situation.  No transition.  No letting his aide who he was very close with a chance to say "Good-bye" and explain the situation.  Just done. It sounded like these lay-offs happened in the middle of the school day, as the SPED director called me about noontime sounding like things just happened.  I'm glad he stayed home that day! The SPED Director said his aide is "Distraught" because he bonded so well with Honeybunches.  I know he loved Honeybunches. I think I might request that they don't leave the same aide with him for that long again.  The change might just be too much for him.  We shall see how this goes.

When I told him the news about his aide on Friday he said in the saddest voice "Please lock my door and leave me alone".  Then DH asked him if a dollar would make him feel better.  Honeybunches said while crying "No but maybe two dollars will".  LOL Little con!

In all seriousness again, I wonder how these changes will affect him. 

The aide was a crossing guard.  When the SPED Director called me there was some mix up about how she'd ride the bus with Honeybunches because of that.  The new aide called me herself to discuss Honeybunches.  She said that she resigned from her position as the crossing guard so she can be "All (Honeybunches)".  She only lives a half mile from us so she said she'd walk over to take the bus with him in the mornings. Then she'll ride home with him in the afternoons (But stay on the bus to proceed to another school where she does an afterschool program). I told the SPED Director that I expect the new aide to stay in close proximity to him.  His old aide gave him some space at recess, but with these changes that would not be a good idea right now.  Honeybunches is having a really hard time understanding what "Laid Off" means and why his previous aide won't be working with him anymore.  I told him the school district can't pay him anymore.  Even that was too hard and confusing for him to grasp.

I wrote the Superintendent about my concerns regarding this situation.  He wrote me back and said:

"I am very sorry about what has taken place, and a bit disgruntled too. This was outside of my control, as (SPED Director) explained.  I know that Mr. N worked very hard and very well with (Honeybunches), and if funding comes available in the future I will do all that I can to get him back. Do not hesitate to call me if there are any issues with the change.  I will overlook what is happening with (Honeybunches) myself!"  

All this after I wrote the Superintendent a lovely email Thursday saying how impressed I am with everything he's done for the school district, how wonderful everyone has been with Honeybunches, how lucky I am that he gets his needs taken care of right here, how proud I was of Angel getting "Advanced" and "Proficient" on her 10th grade MCAS etc.  

I wrote another letter Friday telling him I'm not so happy anymore, how he struggles with no men around, how transitions are hard for him, how these changes can throw him into a depression and cause him to have major issues. I also told him how wonderful his last aide was, how he not only knew his needs, could read his body language so he could prevent things from happening before they did and he was also an excellent advocate for him.  

I typed up the new aide a 3 page "Intro to Honeybunches".  I really hope she takes the time to read it as I made the time to write it.  Chances are Honeybunches will test this new aide to see how she'll react and what he can get away with.  DH and I are both concerned about how Honeybunches will do without a man in the room.  When DH goes away he has a hard time controlling his body.  Even in counseling sometimes when he struggles, his counselor will call a man counselor to the room and he'll change up real quick.  For whatever reason he just needs that male figure around him.  

Then I wrote another (Yup the 3rd) letter to the SPED Director and Superintendent requesting that the new aide receive training about Honeybunches' Autism and Bipolar diagnoses as well as undergo Restraint Training. I made it clear that nobody is to touch my son without the proper training unless it's an emergency situation. 
 

I wrote both his aide and teacher about expecting him to test the new aide to see how she'll react and what he can get away with.  

Yesterday while Honeybunches was outside riding his scooter up and down the sidewalk he came into the house screaming that he thinks "Jinn got hit by a car."  Yup the cat was lifeless lying in the middle of our busy street.  Jinn was our outside cat.  He was Angel's favorite.  With Honeybunches being the one to find him, I know it affected him.  We were in the store later that day getting cat food for our other cats Mystery and Sunny.  Honeybunches said "Draco likes this kind".  Draco was another cat of ours who got hit a few years ago.  I think Jinn getting hit by a car reminded him of Draco, whom he was pretty close with.  We've lost a few cats to this street.  The speed limit is 45 but cars go more like 60 past our house.  Hopefully our other two cats who we've had since they were 6-8 weeks old and that have never gone outside will be safe.  

So between losing Mr N and him finding our dead cat, I know this weekend must have been harder on him then it seems to have been.  He is like me in some ways.  He does a good job hiding his emotions sometimes.  I believe it is affecting him though, because yesterday he woke up at 4:30 and stayed up until 8:30 without any naps.  That's a very long day.  Lately for the past year or so he has been getting up at 6-6:30 so 4:30 is not normal for him.  His mood seemed okay today though.  

We have some new neighbors.  This couple with a six-year-old girl H moved next door.  Honeybunches and Princess have been having a lot of fun playing with her. Yesterday I guess he yelled at H for riding his scooter, but she came back today to play with him so I guess she is forgiving. 

I also miss my father who passed away on May 1st a lot today.  My b-day is coming up on the 15th and it will be the 1st one without him. He has sung to me every year.  It just won't be the same without him. This has been a hard weekend for me. 

I am worried how not having Mr N with him will affect Honeybunches.  I worry how his days will go without him there.  Like the SPED Director voiced in his worries while telling me the news "I don't want him to go backwards". 

I was planning on sending in the $$ and application to take testing for my CNA license again.  I chose to hold off on that for a few months now because of these changes at school.  I want to see how the next 3-6 months will go for Honeybunches, before I decide to go back to work.  I figure it would be better to wait until I'm sure it would work out. 

Momma bear has come out of hiding.  I have not been sleeping well.  I've been thinking of everything we can do for him to make these changes go okay.  That includes writing letters, making demands, paying close attention to his transition, seeing how it affects him, and all that fun Mommy/Advocate stuff. I think I'll keep a log of how his days go, any incidents since the change, etc. 

Thankfully we're due for his Annual IEP Review at the end of the month.  I sent a letter requesting that too.  I asked to hold it as close as possible to the IEP expiration date so that way we'd have a chance to see how he is adjusting to his new aide.