Hyperness and a planned vacation

Honeybunches had a hyper day today.  His 1:1 aide actually got off the bus and talked to me for a few.  He said E was laughing hysterically, making noises and bouncing him body on the floor.  That's something he's not seen before.  It was like his old laughing.  No communication book came home, so IDK what else exactly happened. After school we went to Walmart.  He was hyper in there too, running around, playing with a dog toy, but didn't have any major issues.

DH said he's going to go to the hospital on Monday.  We'll see if things change before then....

Feelings, chaos, heartache, "Gone Already"

To watch video: hit II on the playlist...

DH has been Mr Grouch again lately.  Yesterday he got that look in his eye and I had flashbacks of my 1st marriage to him.  Things were so different then and I divorced that man.  I hate that man.  Yesterday for the 1st time in this marriage I could picture that man as the one standing in front of me.  I was scared, heartbroken, anxious and I didn't like it one bit.  It all happened because it was time for Honeybunches to take a bath.  He refused.  DH tried to deal with him and that didn't go so well.  He got very frustrated, was yelling and all that mess.  That just made the situation worse so I intervened.  DH threatened me.  He didn't touch me though, but close enough.  I told him that I didn't want to live with him anymore.  I am done.  He refused to leave.  Today I am still so mad at him.  I told him that he needs to go to the hospital.  He said maybe he should.  I told him that I don't like him.  I really don't.  I feel like I am done. I didn't reply to his mentioning that. My mother taught me if I don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything at all lol.

Honeybunches had a pretty good day at school today, until the end of the day. He didn't want to get on the bus.  He threw everything off his desk and some others.  He tried to kick his 1:1 aide.  Once they got him to calm down, he refused to get on the bus and laid down on the floor.  I actually had to go to school to pick him up.  The teacher said he had to be restrained by his aide.  That hasn't happened in a while.  I think that's probably related to things with DH last night.  IDK though.  The teacher wonders if it could also be the weather changing so much.  It was so beautiful last week in the 70s and only in the low 40s yesterday and today.  When speaking about the weather she mentioned how he didn't go outside to play yesterday or today, which was also different she said.

Shnooks is 18 today.  I sent him this message on Facebook:
 "Happy Birthday to you ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*
¨*•♫♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥
¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Happy Birthday Dear ________ !!!!! ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥
¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Happy Birthday to you! ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥
Cha Cha Cha!!!

Happy Birthday _____ and welcome to adulthood! I hope that life treats you well. Remember if you get in any trouble now you'll go to big boy jail lol. I am proud of you on your job and your upcoming graduation. Keep up the good work! ((((HUGS)))) You will always be my son. My heart does not know any different.
Love,
Mom"

I miss him today, although he did what he did.  He will always be my son.  My heart doesn't realize that he's my stepson and not mine biologically.  I love him just the same.  Sometimes I feel I should not love him, because of what he did, but I do.  I feel guilty about that.  I hope that life is treating him well and that he's doing well wherever he is.  I hope that he's gotten enough help in these past couple years to make the changes he needed to in order to lead a good life.

Progress!

The past several days have been okay for us.  Last week at school Honeybunches earned "Student of the Week".  I also got his report card on Friday.  They do them in 1-4s or M's. (M = modified; 1 is Beginning to develop standard not yet able to produce grade level work; 2 is Progressing toward the standard producing grade level work with direction and assistance;  3 is meeting the grade level standard producing quality work; 4 is exceeding the grade level standard producing highest quality work consistently. Well he got mostly 1s or Ms.  He got a few 2m's.  His strongest areas are "Tells time to the minute" and "Demonstrates money concepts" lol.  Those were threes of course!  He loves $$$ and has been good at knowing what time he can eat rofl.  His "Work habits and social development" were mostly 3s as well.  The teacher said "(Honeybunches) is such a joy.  His progress has been amazing.  He works hard and demonstrates skills he has learned on a daily basis."  So although he's still delayed in mostly all areas, he is making progress which is all we can ask for.  :) I also got his IEP progress reports.  


His counseling progress report states "He is progressing nicely with identifying his feelings.  He continues to struggle with the comprehension of his feelings, which in turn hinders successful peer interactions.  He voices his needs and points of view and responds to the counselor and his groupmate during the small group sessions.  He continues to struggle with the larger group setting, however, he continues to improve his participation during the social skills lessons."


He is still delayed with reading (Early 2nd grade level), but progressing. He is making steady progress towards meeting his math goals and working hard to meet his writing goals. He has met one of his speech goals and is making progress on his other four.  From what I read on his report, he is still struggling with answering open ended questions (Answers with 42% accuracy). He also met all three of his OT goals! (But the report says OT will continue.) He is still working to meet his PT goals. (From what I read it sounds like he's struggling in those things a bit.)


Honeybunches had a pretty good week. On Saturday he was the UPS man and I earned a reward for doing a good job. He delivered me a bag in a box. Inside the bag was a letter that said "Happy St Patrick's Day to Mom from ---- and here's a pot of gold. Flip to the next page then here is your pot of gold. than whoever earns it will get an extra pot of gold. try earn it and I hope you earn it." On the next page was a picture of a pot of gold... the extra pot of gold. It' was my lucky day! LOL.

Last Friday, Dh and I went to his favorite clothing store called PCX at a major city about an hour away. I bought him some outfits for his b-day. Then we went across the city to Trader Joe's where I found Honeybunches and I some soy yogurt and almond milk. They had their own brand which was pretty cheap. Then as we began our way home DH missed our turn, but we went straight because I remembered that way went home too. Along that street we passed "Belmont Vegetarian". I was like "Ooh look a vegetarian restaurant". DH convinced me to stop there. Believe me it was not too much convincing needed lol. as we walked in the man asked if that was our first time there. I said "Yes". He gave me a sample of everything he had. Everything was so good!!! As I tried it I was amazed. Everything tasted so real. The best part is he sells it by the aluminum pan full in 3 different sizes. I had him put me some of everything in the largest one lol. That was the best food I had in years! I had pepper steak, chicken, lasagna (Which was so good I had to ask him if it was real cheese and he said "No everything is fake and Vegan"), mac & cheese, cabbage, bean/veggie stir fry, scrambled curry tofu and a veggie patty (That resembled an Empanada or Jamaican beef patty). It was vegan soul food yumminess! It was a Vegan Jamaican who ran the place. Everything was so good. I mean everything. I think every few months I may travel the hour to go there just to eat. Well DH can go to his favorite clothing store again lol. Besides the samples he gave me, I ate the patty, the chicken and a few bites of rice. I had enough for dinner that night and lunch the next day off that plate too! DH who loves his meat tried a bite of pepper steak and said it tasted real. He thinks he'll get food from there next time!

He had a few rough points this past week but nothing we could not work through. This time change seems to have thrown him off because he's been a little moody since. He's enjoying staying out later in the evening though.

Random phone call

Last night about 10:30 Shnooks called here.  He was talking like nothing ever happened.  I had to tell him to not call the house phone again.  Later I emailed him and asked him if he wanted to talk to call my cell or communicate via Facebook.  I don't want him having any contact with Princess.  He wanted to talk to DH, who would not have wanted to speak with him.  He said he has a part time job at a diner and is graduating from high school in a couple months.  I'm proud of him, but still my heart feels guilty for still loving him after all he's done.  He's not biologically mine.  There is no law that says I have to love him.  Still my heart does when I feel it shouldn't.  I guess in my heart he'll always be my son.  He sounded so sad on the phone.  He'll be 18 on the 28th of this month.  We had not heard from him since last March.  There is something about his birthday that makes him want to call us. 

Lesson of the day

Honeybunches has been doing well, but today was a bit of a rough day for him.  His regular 1:1 aide was not at school.  We knew Wednesday he would not be so it was not unexpected.  I drove him to school and picked him up so the sub aide would not have to.  His communication book stated "He had a great morning.  He did have a little meltdown at recess.  He was playing with three other children.  He became very frustrated and lashed out.  He kicked one child and hit two others.  He then ran into the building.  We found him in the boys bathroom.  (His old behavioral classroom teacher) coaxed him out of the stall.  He came willingly.  I was waiting for him.  I asked him if he was okay and he said yes.  Then I asked him if we could go someplace quiet to talk.  He came with me.  We went to the meeting room.  He told me he became angry because the kids were all shouting at once. I asked him if he was frustrated and explained what it was.  He said yes.  We talked about ways to deal with how he felt instead of lashing out.  We also talked about how he felt now and how the other kids felt.  He apologized on his own.  He made some really good choices.  After the meltdown he came back to the room and seemed fine."

His teacher told me about the incident when I picked him up.  She said when he apologized she had him tell them why he did what he did (That their screaming made him frustrated) so they'd understand why.  I know that his teacher really is a blessing in his life.  I love how she turned this all into a teaching lesson about feelings, etc.  IMO she dealt with things perfectly.  There is something special about his aide.  Would things have happened if he was there with Honeybunches today?  IDK.  It's hard to know.... but I doubt it.  There is a slight chance that yes, maybe it would have.  There seems to be something about having him there which calms him though.  It's either him especially or because he is a man.  They do have an awesome connection though. 

Honeybunches read to me tonight.  His fluency is really picking up.  He's getting faster and his reading is going more smoothly.  :)  This afternoon he was more frustrated because I would not let him go on the computer.  He knows that aggression means no computer.  That's been our rule for a few years.  He threatened to kick Princess because I would not let him go on.  He didn't end up doing that though.  Things didn't escalate and he was okay.  Just a bit irritable.  He did use his words and said he was "Exhausted" which was a new word for him. 

Sickness and Blessings

I just realized it has been a couple weeks since my last post.  Everyone in my house has been taking turns getting sick.  Last week was Honeybunches' turn.  He was sick with some stomach bug on Sunday when he vomited so last Monday I kept him home.  Tuesday I sent him to school, but they called before the day even began for DH to go pick him up.  Wednesday I kept him home again.  Thursday was a snow day.  Friday he finally made it to school and lasted a full day.  He seems to be feeling better now.  He's doing good. 

Today I went to the SPED PAC meeting here.  Only myself and another parent went. I love talking with her.  She has a son with similar issues to mine and I always learn something from her.  The SPED director said he hears how awesome Honeybunches is doing.  It's true. He's making a ton of progress and I am very proud of him!  When I got home from the SPED PAC meeting Honeybunches told me that "Daddy was acting up".  Yup, he tried giving Honeybunches water or juice.  Bad Daddy lol.  He didn't give Honeybunches his usual night time protein shake (Because he didn't know how to make it).  So I guess Daddy really was acting up lol. SPED director said I should call a meeting before the end of this school year to discuss Honeybunches' summer placement, 1:1 aide and placement for next Fall.  I was not sure if we needed a meeting because he's been doing so well, but he said it's a good idea because I might "Learn something new".  He said his goal for Honeybunches is to one day be mainstreamed.  Honestly back in Kindergarten I would not have seen that as a possibility.... EVER.  Now I can see it maybe happening eventually... just not now.  He's doing great in the placement he is in and making a ton of progress.  One day down the road I do hope that he can tolerate a regular classroom, even if only for a couple hours.  Right now, I just don't see it happening, but I can in the future which is not something I could have even visioned a few years ago.  He's come such a long way.  It is sad that out off all the parents in our district who have children on IEPs that only myself and that other mother go to the meetings. 

I won 12 candybars from Go Max Go .  Honeybunches loved the Cleo's which are like Vegan Reese's.  I am going to tell the Easter Bunny to order him some. ;)  My family has received many blessings these past couple weeks which I am very thankful for.  God provides not when we want things, but when we need them. 

Oh, the case of the missing vacuum has been solved!  DH finally admitted that he broke it and thought I'd be too mad because it was brand new so he threw it away.  I hate lying so I was pissed for a few days about that.