Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Beginning School Year Accommodations

Thanks to a 3rd email and CC'ing the Superintendent, I got some things accomplished to help Honeybunches begin his journey to middle school with as much chance for success as possible.

Here is a re-cap of my requests and the important pieces of the school district's response:

1. His current behavioral plan, which references the "Time out space" (The little padded room which existed inside his classroom for 5-6th grade that I always wish I had at home lol) which does not exist at the middle school. I mentioned how we needed to come up with 1-2 other "Safe places" where he could go if things become too much for him sensory wise and an alternative way to deal with unsafe behaviors. I asked about the adjustment counselor he'll have and Officer S who he's familiar with (The school resource officer). I mentioned how pieces of his plan such as home-school communication, sensory breaks, restraint, life space interview and self regulation should still be implemented until another plan is put in place.
I   
     IEP Chairperson's Response:
      "We can absolutely identify appropriate safe spaces. Certainly (Adjustment Counselor)'s office is a natural choice, though it is important to have alternatives as well in case she is out or otherwise engaged....  The Special Education Suite (As another option), as it is the same staff members repeatedly that (Honeybunches) may already know or will quickly become familiar with... Officer S largely deals with issues once they have legal implications.... I would suggest we implement all items of the current behavior plan that are plausible from the start. This is an important aspect of setting things up clearly for (Honeybunches) from the beginning to support his ability to adjust during the transition. My recommendation is to wait a number of weeks prior to developing a new plan so that we have both the time to see any changes in his behavior or patterns, as well as the opportunity to identify potential solutions with some confidence."

2.  I wrote concerns about the cafeteria being too overstimulating for Honeybunches at lunch time, how he voiced concerns about not wanting to go to middle school because of lunch time with "Too many kids", asked if we could come up with another place he could go eat lunch. I also asked about the class aide accompanying Honeybunches to his UA and Gym classes because I have concerns how both of those environments will likely cause him to struggle more behaviorally because of overstimulation and anxiety. I also mentioned how I would have been more comfortable with a 1:1 aide, even for those parts of his day.

 Response:
1.     "It is my desire to have the classroom aide present in the room(s) where (Honeybunches) is attending his Unified Arts and Physical Education classes. In keeping with our desire to start things at (Middle School) for (Honeybunches) in a manner that will promote consistency, I am hesitant to have the aide act in a 1:1 capacity because it removes any incentive for (Honeybunches) to increase his independence and removes the opportunities he might otherwise have to develop the emerging skills he is already showing. Having the paraprofessional present will provide the additional support in terms of assistance navigating social interactions, ensuring (Honeybunches) understands directions, and things of that nature, such that he is being set up for success. Additionally, having the paraprofessional present provides a trusted adult (Honeybunches) can use his words to communicate his feelings to when he is processing emotional responses during these times. This is a crucial element in helping to distinguish what behaviors are the result of emotional dysregulation and what behaviors serve other functions for (Honeybunches), such as escape from task demand. This approach provides (Honeybunches) the support without limiting him in the form of dependence on the adult in question."

I have learned to read into words. "It is my desire..." does not mean something is going to happen! He did make some good points though.  

Response about lunch:
1.     "We can absolutely implement alternative solutions for lunch. The classroom is unlikely to be a good solution because that is also the time staff will be taking their lunch. There are several students who eat lunch with (Adjustment Counselor)t to start the year, and there are a few spaces in the Special Education suite that students can utilize to eat lunch while we work towards building their readiness to navigate the cafeteria. Again a primary factor to consider is the balance between avoiding undue strain and stress on (Honeybunches)'s part with limiting his opportunities to grow and develop the skills necessary to navigate the lunch line and cafeteria setting. It all starts with (Honeybunches) feeling successful though, and if that means eating lunch in an alternate setting to start, that is certainly appropriate."


3. I mentioned concerns about the 1st day of school assembly being too overstimulating for him. 

Response:
1.     "I agree with you about the potential for the assembly to be stressful for (Honeybunches). It should not be difficult to have an alternative for him during that time. As the year progresses we will want to work towards increasing his ability to tolerate and navigate these types of assemblies, such as sitting in the back row, increasing the time he is able to be present, increasing his utilization of processing and regulation skills. One of the many benefits of a program like the program with Mrs. C is that important information can be presented in the small group and repeated from time to time."
     
      4: I wrote about concerns regarding changing for gym (How he can change and dress himself but sometimes needs help getting his shoes back on and tying them, asked if shoes that tie are mandatory and my hopes that the new OT he'll have in middle school will have better luck teaching him. I wrote about these no tie laces.

 
1.     "Accommodations can certainly be made for shoes in physical education class. In my experience, as long as there is appropriate grip on the soles of the shoes, laces are not a key element. The sneaker requirement is more to avoid sandals, heels, dress shoes, boots, and other footwear that limit participation and increase the risk of injury. I am thrilled to hear you obtained those laces and am excited about (Honeybunches) developing both the skill of lacing, and developing functional alternatives."

      He also mentioned how we previously discussed another potential visit with Honeybunches and his teachers for the week before school begins. He suggested that Friday as a good day, because the teachers are "Duty free" that day. They also have another orientation program on August 24-27th.


Jumping Over Heads

One important lesson I have learned over this Summer:
If you don't get a response for over a month from the IEP Chairperson and SpEd Director regarding an email you sent them TWICE, CC the Superintendent and you are bound to hear back much quicker!!!

I had some concerns regarding Honeybunches that I needed resolved prior to the beginning of school. I sent one email on June 11th and again on July 20th. Neither were answered. I gave the school personnel the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe they actually aren't at the school for part of the Summer. Yesterday, when dropping Honeybunches off for his ESY tutoring, the IEP Chairperson was outside and said "Hey, how's it going"? His presence was known at that point, which caused me to have mixed feelings of frustration, disappointment and "Got cha"! Today, I wrote the same Email again, CC'ing the Superintendent. I also sent her another email with more info about Honeybunches. This time, I heard back from the IEP Chairperson within two hours. I don't usually like to step over heads, because it causes certain members of the school district to get defensive. Sometimes, it must be done. Over the years, it's gotten easier for me to learn how to not play Mrs. Nice Lady and worry about everyone's feelings. Honestly though, there still is that little piece of me that cares. Then I have to step back and think "What will matter in 5 or 10 years"? Will it matter that the school personnel knew me as "That" Momma? Will it matter that I might have gotten people mad, upset or angry with me? The answer to both of those is a big fat NOPE! What will matter is that I did my best to get Honeybunches the help he needs. Sometimes, that might mean bumping or jumping over heads in the process.


Monday, July 27, 2015

Hopes and Fears

---"The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears." (Ellen Goodman)

I was going through old quotes this morning and came across this one. Think about what it says for a couple minutes. Break it apart piece by piece. "The central struggle of parenthood..." We sure have a lot of struggles don't we? "... Is to let our hopes for our children..." We all have high hopes for them. It's important to believe in them. They need us on their side, even when nobody else in the world is. We hope that they shoot for the stars and if they miss, at least they can touch the moon. "... The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears." As parents, we all have many fears for our children. Which are stronger in your journey? It can be so hard to not let our fears outweigh our hopes, for it seems they are more deeply routed in our hearts. Let's break this down a bit more:

My hopes for Honeybunches are:
-That he'll grow up to be a respectful citizen.
-That he'll learn more coping skills to get through life.
-That he'll learn to advocate for himself.
-That he'll continue to get the help he needs in school.
-That he'll follow his dreams.
-That he'll accomplish whatever he sets his heart to doing.
-For him to one day find a wife who can tolerate him and for him to have a family, if that's what he chooses to do. 

My fears are that:
-He'll become unstable during the teen years, needing to be hospitalized again.
-That if he becomes unstable in the teen years, he'll likely be stronger than Momma. (Note to self: Begin lifting weights soon lol.)
-That he might end up in an RTC at some point.
-What if he gets older and decides he doesn't need his medications anymore. 
-What if the school can't handle him?
-Who will care for him when I'm gone?
-Will he be able to live on his own?
-Will he be able to hold down a job?
-Will he graduate, or be educated until age 22 and just receive a "Certificate of Completion" (Which would not be the worst thing in the world, but is still something I often wonder about.
-What will happen to him when he does turn 22 and all the services from the school district disappear?

I have many more fears that often take residence in my mind, but those are the ones I could think off quickly. It's hard to not let all those fears outweigh the hopes. They tug on the heart strings more than the hopes do. They take over my mind, causing worry and anxiety. I try to let Go and give it to the man above, but honestly I need to work on trusting him more and letting go of my control. There are some things in life that we're not in control over, so why do we worry about them? Back to the quote, the struggle is real. We do have to keep hope though, because sometimes in this journey it's all we have left. Our children need us to believe in them.
~Honeybunches' Momma.

Honeybunches July 2015 Update

Thankfully, we were able to get Honeybunches back on the name brand Abilify. His psych nurse practitioner said that was thanks to my mood charts. Summer is going well for the most part. We successfully survived four nights at a motel at Hampton Beach (Which is right on the Atlantic Ocean) where we had lots of fun. The ocean is my happy place, where I am so relaxed. That's one place where I honestly did not mind waking up at 4 am, because of the beautiful artwork nature created on the beach at low tides in the morning before 1000s of footsteps trample over it. It was amazing! There is a quote by Amy Dykens "--It is hard for me to put into words why I like the beach so much. Everything about it is renewing for me, almost like therapy." That's exactly how I feel! Here are some examples of nature's early morning artwork:



The weekend of the 10th, Honeybunches, Daddy and I went camping at a favorite local campground for his birthday with Auntie R and her boyfriend G. We did things different for his birthday this year. None of his classmates ever come, so this year we didn't invite them to save some heartache from happening. We had a great time. We invited lots of family and some members from our old church. That was the biggest turnout he ever had at his party. We had lots of fun, although at times it seemed like too much for him. He had moments where he got overstimulated and needed his space. I don't think certain members of my family understand that concept. Overall, things went very well though.

It's hard to believe in five weeks my baby boy will be in middle school! I have so many concerns about that, as you can read in previous posts. Middle school is like a whole new world, especially after being at the same elementary school for the past seven years. He begins ESY tutoring today, with a teacher he'll have for Reading and Math. It's only 2 hours per day, M-Th for four weeks but hopefully it will help him not regress so much (Although it would be hard to document this year with teachers who are not familiar with him or where he was academically in June).